Ri4ard's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 8:00am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 8:31am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 8:16am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 12:09pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 8:26am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 8:21am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 7:00am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 10:35am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 12:41pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:24am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 7:54am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 12:50pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 2:34pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:03am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 8:57am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:52am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:16am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 5:51am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 12:54pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:28am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 6:55am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:45am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:39am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 8:17am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:00am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:32am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:37am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 12:35pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 7:06am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 12:53pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:10am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 8:16am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:03am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:11am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:40am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 8:27am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 12:34pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:48am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:26am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 8:16am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 8:14am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 5:52am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:13am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:14am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:14am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 8:31am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 12:16pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 7:06am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 11:26am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 9:05am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:16am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 8:26am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 7:50am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 6:51am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 7:30am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 7:04am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 22 May, 2020 @ 9:22am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 7:44am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 9:28am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2020 @ 2:37pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 8 Aug, 2020 @ 10:14am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2020 @ 8:31am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2020 @ 8:20am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2020 @ 8:51am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

16 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000