I honestly can't believe it. First - let me introduce myself. I'm a real OG. Yeah. I played Dark Souls, so I know what I'm talking about. I can't believe Miyazaki let some board room push him and his vision around, but we as true From Soft Gamers ("Fromers") should know better. How could we betray our Creator so?

If you are using summons, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but summons are just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Summons are just a way for weak non-GAMERS to get CARRIED.

If you are using spirit ashes, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but spirit ashes are what is called easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. They're a way for weak non-GAMERS to get carried without an internet connection.

If you are using sorceries or incantations, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but magic is just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Magic is a way for weak non-GAMERS to avoid learning enemy attack patterns.

If you are using archery, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but archery is just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Archery is a way for weak non-GAMERS to skip fights with cheese.

If you are using crafting, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but crafting is just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Crafting is a way for weak non-GAMERS to get free items and that's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ disgusting.

If you are using weapon leveling, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but smithing is just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Smithing is a way for weak non-GAMERS to artificially raise their DPS, allowing them to circumvent the mastery required for a prolonged boss fight.

If you are using flask enhancers, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but buffed flasks are just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Flask buffs are a way for weak non-GAMERS to get bonus health to let them skip learning from all their mistakes

If you are using armor, you are NOT playing the way God and Miyazaki intended. SORRY - but armor is just another name for easy mode, and real Fromers DON'T play easy mode. Armor is a way for weak non-GAMERS to tank extra hits, it's the same as flasks and even summons

If you want to play the way GOD and Miyazaki (have you ever seen these two in the same room???) intended, you need to strip yourself of all wordly possessions, barring the biggest Great Sword you have ever seen. Two hand that mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and git ready to GIT. GUD. These games are meant to be HARD, so stop abusing all the mechanics that fix that.

I realize some people don't level up or use site of graces or even use weapons but we all know they're crazy. Why would Miyazaki put stuff like great swords in the game if we weren't supposed to use them???

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I hate the Dung Eater beyond what can be considered healthy. I will go out of my way to torture him every single play through from now on

Big Boggart is my homie. I would die for prawnbro and will do anything to make sure he can happily cook up crab for the rest of his days. I had killed the Dung Eater right when I found him my first play through because he was acting sketchy as ♥♥♥♥ and I thought that if I didn’t it would be like the darkbeast in disguise from Bloodborne where he would kill and ruin a bunch of NPC quest lines. As I was starting my next game, someone told me all of it. His curse, what he does to Boggart, and what his ending entails.

First off, the fact that such a lowly sack of subhuman garbage even gets his own ending to the game is ridiculous. He doesn’t deserve it. Not even remotely. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Gideon Ofnir, but he’s much more important and he doesn’t get his own ending? Hell, a LOT of characters are important and warranting of their own ending, but it’s Dung Eater that gets it.

Second, the philosophy of his ending is stupid as ♥♥♥♥. Omens are beings cursed from birth that are outside of the Erdtree’s blessing. Doesn’t seem like there’s a solid consensus on why it happens, but it does, and it sucks. It is an eternal curse, horrific to live through and guaranteeing basically unending and undeserved pain and suffering, and the Golden Order only makes it worse through their shunning and mistreatment of the Omens. Disdain for the current state of the Golden Order is understandable from the other side, and since those who have felt the curse are in suffering, the end goal should be to elevate their status, extending love to them and bringing them into Grace, yes? No. Dung Eater would rather hurt everyone than to help the few that need it. He would rather take everyone and everything as low as it possibly can go to make all equal in the eyes of purity because he wants everyone and everything to be as disgusting and vile as he is. He isn’t even an Omen, he’s just so vile that he revels in everything that is awful about the Omen Curse.

My girlfriend asked me what is so bad about him. I explained it by basically saying for her to imagine if Heaven was empirically proven to be real and we knew the exact way you had to get there. Imagine then if there was man; he was the ugliest man ever born that perpetually smelled like absolute ♥♥♥♥, fetishized basically the innocent people that get sent to hell, and his sole mission in life was running around, torturing and murdering as many innocent people as he possibly could (thousands) and raping their corpses with his putrid ♥♥♥♥ to implant a curse into them that keeps them from going to heaven and sentences them to an eternity of suffering, and his ultimate end goal is to spread his demonic aids so far and wide that eventually every child born will be cursed to suffer physically, mentally, and spiritually in the worst way possible for all eternity, all in the hopes of making everyone and everything as ugly and vile as he is.

He is utterly repulsive. Everything about him. I hate his voice. I hate his armor. I hate his sword. I noticed when he was bashing his head against the wall this NG+ that his greasy hair stuck out the back of his helmet and almost vomited. I sold all gear associated with him when I got it, just holding it made me feel unclean and I would never equip it. I don’t care what kind of poise or stats his armor has, it’s so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ugly and he’s all I can equate it to and just seeing someone wear it in multiplayer fills me with disgust and makes me dislike them.

This NG+ I devised the way that I can subject him to the maximum amount of suffering possible. I didn’t send prawnbro to the moat, I wouldn’t until after he had been dealt with. Going into Leyndell was a sublime and incredible moment, as always, and I once again took several minutes to bask in the music, the glory of the city, and the Erdtree’s gargantuan scope. Then, I focused on getting underground. My hands were literally shaking with anticipation. I freed him, feeling absolutely disgusting all the while. Just being close to him made me, myself, the real world me, feel physically unclean. He was freed. I went to the moat and crushed him as violently as possible. Then, I sent prawnbro there, where he could be safe, and gathered four of the five seedbed curses. Once I had them I gave them to him. Slow. I made sure that he stayed tied down to that chair down there for as long as possible, listening to his moans and screams with each curse he received. I don’t know if this was better or worse for him, as he clearly is suffering, but it could just as easily be argued that he’s relishing in thi

You have to finish watching the cut scene. You’ll go through a character selection screen, then your character will be about to be executed, when a dragon shows up and saves you.

Pick whether you want to join the imperial legion or the rebels and go with one of the two guys who saves you. What follows is a pretty quick and easy dungeon crawl that serves as a tutorial.

Then you’ll want to go to the first town, but on your way, you might want to stop by a small mine with a few enemies on the side of the road for some gear and some easy ore to mine.

Eventually you’ll talk to the Jarl of the regional big city (Whiterun) and he’ll have you basically go on a quest to retrieve a golden claw or something like that from another dungeon. In that dungeon, there’s a some zombies and then a big spider but it’s not too hard overall.

When you’re done with that and get your rewards, you’ll kill a dragon, learn your first shout, and the game will open up a bit. Make your way toward Riften, a city across the map. (You’ll probably want to hire the carriage outside Whiterun as otherwise it’s a long trek by foot and you probably won’t be able to afford a horse yet.)

Ask around Riften about the thieves guild, you’ll eventually find them in the sewers. Do the opening quests and get your thieves guild armor.

Then, head back to Whiterun and start grinding your pickpocketing skill. You can savescum if you need to in order to pickpocket hard to get jewels, etc, but get your pickpocket level as high as possible. Do the same for your lock pick skill.

Finally, go to Belethor‘s shop but don’t buy anything. Just wait, then follow Belethor home after he closes shop.

Pick the lock and sneak into his house after he goes in but don’t let him see you. Eventually, you’ll hear him start cursing under his breath a lot in the other room.

Sneak behind him into the room and you’ll see that he just bought Elden Ring for PS5 but doesn’t know what the ♥♥♥♥ he’s doing so he’s just fighting with the first boss on a horse in limgrave and dying over and over again.

Before he goes to bed, pickpocket the game from him (it’s weird, he has the game equipped on his way to bed). Then once you have it, you should be able to stick it into his PS5 after he goes to sleep and boot back into the game. You might need to create a new character and go through the tutorial again to get to Limgrave though.