Well, I remember as it were a meal ago
Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
May have nestled its way into his mighty throat
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down
The cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator
Tommy the Cat had many a story to tell
But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did
She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the
Oldest of tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days
The sight was beyond belief
Many a head snapped for double--even triple--takes as this vivacious
Feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most
Virile of the young tabbies were known to hang out
They hung in droves
Such a multitude of masculinity could only be found in one place
And that was O'Malley's Alley
The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended)
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
The heart of the alleyway
She knew what she wanted
She was lookin' for that stud bull
She was looking for that he cat
And that was me
Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee
Say, baby, do you want to lay down with me?
Say, baby, do you want to lay down by my side?
Ah, baby, do you want to lay down with me?
Say, baby?
Say, baby?


Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver and she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her, so she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon and said "I recognize that smell, Smells like seven layers, That beaver eatin' Taco Bell!".
"Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans and he travelled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars and he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver So he thought he'd take himself a peek, but the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis,
and he ain't pissed for a week.(And a half!)
Wynona took her big brown beaver and she stuck him up in the air, said "I sure do love this big brown beaver and I wish I did have a pair.
Now the beaver once slept for seven days And it gave us all an awful fright,
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch and the bastard tried to bite me. Wynona loved her big brown beaverAnd she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her she might have a porcupine.


When he was young you'd not find him doing well in school,
His mind would turn unto the waters.
Always the focus of adolescent ridicule,
He has no time for farmer's daughters.
Alienated from the clique society,
A lonely boy finds peace in fishing.
His mother says John this is not the way life's supposed to be.
Don't you see the life that you are missing?
And he says
When I grow up I want to be,
One of the harvesters of the sea.
I think before my days are done,
I want to be a fisherman.
Now years gone by we find man that rules the sea.
He sets out on a dark May morning .
To bring his catch back to this small community.
He doesn't see the danger dawning.
Four hours up, oh the ocean swelled and swelled,
The fog rolled in it started raining.
The starboard bow. Oh my God we're going down!
They do not hear his frantic mayday.
And he says
When I grow up I want to be,
One of the harvesters of the sea.
I think before my days are done,
I want to be a fisherman.
I'll live and die a fisherman.
Calling John the fisherman.


Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spilled so that we may maintain
Our oil fields.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies are taught to heal.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.
On the command of men wearing money belts that buy mistresses
Sleek animal pelts.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Skinny was born in a bathtub
And he grew so incredibly thin
Even the tide from the eyedropper sucked him in
Skinny never knew any questions
Skinny never looked alike
Skinny sold somethin' every single night
Skinny sold a soldier to me
Skinny sold the wife
Skinny sold a suction cup and a knife
Skinny found a hello dolly record in the house.
Sold it to a truck driver in the night.
Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and placed upon the war machine.
Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
Too many puppies, too many dead men.


I've seen them out at soco
They're pounding sixteen penny nails
The truckers on the interstate
Have been known to ride the rails
The sweat is beating on the brow
Can't keep these fellas down
'Cause those damned blue-collared tweekers
Are runnin' this here town
I knew a man who hung drywall
He hung it mighty quick
A trip or two to the blue room
Would help him do the trick
His foreman would pat him on the back
Whenever he would come around
'Cause these dammed blue-collar tweekers
Are beloved in this here town
Now the union boys are there
To protect us from all the corporate type
While curious george's drug patrol
Is out here hunting snipe
Now they try to tell me different
But you know i ain't no clown
'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers
Are the backbone of this town
Now the flame that burns twice as bright
Burns only half as long
My eyes are growing weary
As i finalize this song
So sit back and have a cup o' joe
And watch the wheels go round
'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers
Have always run this town


My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-♥♥♥♥♥ you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foort two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud
My name is Mud,
But call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud, so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud

Ya like Primus?