The Jester's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 8:39pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 9:01pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 2:07pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 8:38pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 12:11pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 8:40pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 2:05pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 3:05pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:37pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 5:12pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 6:11pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 6:46pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2016 @ 6:07pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2016 @ 3:27pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:41pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2017 @ 4:47pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:10pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 12:57pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 6:29pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2016 @ 1:15pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 7:03am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 5:04pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 6:16pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 6:58pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 4:28pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 3:56pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 2:59pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:35pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 8:57pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2016 @ 5:56pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 5:48pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2016 @ 5:12am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:17pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 8:42pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 11:51am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 2:04pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2015 @ 5:05pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 11:14am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2019 @ 8:25pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 7:10pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 7:43pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 8:41am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 4:09pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 3:08pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 8:00pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 26 Jan, 2019 @ 12:38pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 1:26pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 6:47pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2015 @ 7:21pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 1:02pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 2:33pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2016 @ 8:16pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2016 @ 1:12pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 1:48pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 2:31pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:17pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2016 @ 12:32pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2016 @ 5:43pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2017 @ 5:14pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2016 @ 3:08pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

25 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

20 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

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