rock
Canada
 
 
This one's for all the haters out there. All of those who think it's cool to sit back in the safety of their mother's basement and make clips of my videos and talk ♥♥♥♥ about me out there on the internet. You little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ have no idea the life I've lived. 41 years working professionally with horses; 30 of those spent as a remote wilderness guide. I did ♥♥♥♥ on a daily basis that would make you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ piss yourself. I stood down 9 grizzly bear charges in my life, 5 black bear charges, and I once stepped up and stuffed an 8 foot tom cougar square in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mug with my walking stick to save one of my dogs. I watched 17 horses lose their lives out there, I lost 3 good friends and I've held the lifeless body of my best friend in my arms. I've heard my own bones snap. I've stitched my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ body twice myself and I've felt the searing ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heat of a hot brand. You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ have no idea what tough is sitting back in your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mum's basement, going to work in your cubicle, stopping by 7/11 on the way home and then talking trash about fellas like me. You know what? I- I feel sorry for you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I really do. Because what I see, is a whole world full of hate-filled little soft and gushy blue Smurfs. Harmless. Yap, yap, yap, but completely ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ harmless. For those of you who follow my videos, I appreciate ya listening to my rant. Now I feel better. I love all of ya. Stay the course and resist. And I'm sorry, honestly, for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupidity that you've all got to put up with out there.

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One time Gordon Ramsay came to my restaurant for a Sunday brunch. We were all really nervous, but he seemed like he was in a good mood and just wanted a quick meal. When his order came back to the kitchen we were shocked to see that he wanted eighteen live trout in a bowl of sake, and our best hammer. The order ticket wasn't in the handwriting of Carol our waitress either, so we think he wrote it himself. Anyway we're a seafood restaurant so we happened to be able to accommodate him. None of us went up to see what he was doing at first because we started getting really busy, until we heard customers screaming and our head chef Ronald ran into the back telling us to grab a knife. Turns out Chef Ramsay was nailing the fish to his arms and legs and smacking them together spraying fish stuff all over our guests. I've never seen a man's jaw open so wide in my life as he vomited out Carol, who I guess he had eaten like a snake, and then he crab-walked up our concrete wall and onto the ceiling where he dropped an egg sac on the maître d' melting the flesh from his bones. Gordon Ramsay’s eyes had gone red by this point and there were flames licking up from where his hair used to be. He uttered in a voice that seemed to come from every direction at once: "WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE" and then he grew to the size of the room, crushing everyone who wasn't lucky enough to get out of the way. We had to close the restaurant after that, and now I know why they call it kitchen nightmares.
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I attended PragerU back in 2015 on a wrestling scholarship. That is until they shut down the wrestling program because the coaches kept banging all the kids. But hey that happens everywhere That's not just a PragerU thing. Unfortunately it also meant I was stuck taking normal classes and trying to keep my GPA up WITHOUT being a star athlete. And man those classes were weird.

My Civics teacher kept showing me cartoon frogs and complaining about freedom of speech anytime a student asked him to put his dick away. I took a film studies class but every week my libertarian teacher just played Fight Club and tried to explain why cryptocurrency is safer than the stock market. I still remember my first kiss in the quad of PragerU, right under the 80 foot tall statue of Jordan Peterson. One time I aced a test by just writing "I don't like big government" for every answer. My favorite memory has to be when we held a big anti-taxation rally that got so out of hand they had to call in the national guard, which did end the rally but only because the entire student body was also in the national guard.

They say your college years are how you shape the rest of your life. After my time at PragerU, I'd have to say the rest of my life is shaped like Ronald Reagan's dangling, flaccid penis as he wanders the hall of the White House in confusion, talking to paintings and leaving a trail of piss wherever he goes until he can be wrangled back into his chair and forced to sign whatever bill puts more black people in prison. Thank you PragerU, and remember the "U" stands for Uruguay offshore accounts, so good luck following that money you bitch ass feds.
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Comments
renbeece @TLAN 15 Apr, 2024 @ 5:26pm 
i think its hilarious u kids talking ♥♥♥♥ about rock. u wouldnt say this ♥♥♥♥ to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol
. 8 Feb, 2024 @ 9:30am 
W Canadian :steamhappy:
Jin 2 Jan, 2017 @ 11:29am 
So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..."
Jin 27 May, 2016 @ 3:33pm 
went here w my side ♥♥♥♥♥ walked in the door and that ♥♥♥♥ slammed losd ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (( make sure u gently close that damn door or u gunna get looked at wierd esp. if u blak )) got me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fish sanwish when that ♥♥♥♥ came to the table it was just a piece of fish inside two buns where the ingrediants?????!! ♥♥♥♥ came back w pickles mayo fries and all that ♥♥♥♥, it ended up bein decent but not filling atmosfere was wierd as ♥♥♥♥ n there was a bunch of arabs named abu n hameed in there talkin wierd ass ♥♥♥♥, might go back if wd40 that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ door def not main ♥♥♥♥♥ food but def side ♥♥♥♥♥ werthy
dueces