Recent reviews by HeatedCoffin

Absolute failure of a game.

You will have to Google every single quest, as the game tells you nothing. The quest markers show incorrect locations. The main story quests have to be discovered, and there is no indication which quests advance the story and unlock new areas.

On gamepad, most games show you A,B,X,Y or similar. This game shows you numbers(!) from 1 to 12. Every game on the planet manages to show you which button to press, but not this game. Their UX designer is evidently the worst on the planet, failing to do what everyone else can do with ease. When being attacked by a wolf, you're supposed to press (x+) and (x-). What buttons are those? 'Press 9 to open Inventory'... on a gamepad?!

Take note of the developers, and never buy anything they make.

Unique factions and quests do not make up for the rotten quality of mechanics introduced with DLC. For instance, when the espionage-focused faction has spies ("sanctuary") on your planets, the game advises you "invade or hack the [solar] system". Anyone who plays the game knows you can't invade your own planets or hack yourself, yet the devs feed you false information, and you have to turn to google for facts.

Since ES2 is turn-based you spent each turn clicking through 20 obnoxious pop-ups, but they can luckily be turned off for some of them. If you're chasing an opponent, you will not see where they go at the beginning of the turn, as your view is blocked by unavoidable pop-up messages that cover the entire screen.

Invisible walls and nonsensical hitboxes break the game.

Some devs deserve unemployment, like the ones in charge of this game's combat.

The first boss needs to be meleed, but will fly to safety past an invisible wall. Putting up an invisible wall on an open field is immersion-breaking and lazy. Invisible walls are the crutch of the incompetent developer.

When you finally get in range for a hit, it turns out the enemy's "nose" doesn't have as hitbox, and your blade flies straight through the enemy without doing damage. Knowing these things you can adapt and beat the fight, but the real struggle is dealing with FromSoftware's inpetitude. The devs employed amateurs for this game, and it shows.

Got my refund, will think twice next time the same people release a game.

Full of game-breaking bugs. Literally uncompleteable.

Keeps deleting my furniture. All progress and hard work, gone. Devs don't respect your time.

What a disappointment after almost 2,5 years in "early access", almost nothing of value has been added.
Combat is still a scuffed mess, which may have been good enough in 2010, but far from acceptable in 2022.

Edit: A year later, combat is still an embarrasment: Try jousting in tournaments - You can't. AI will just follow you around. Mounted combat overall is just as bad as it was in 2010, and devs are either not playing their own game, or too incompetent to do anything about it. There's plenty of games out there that have improved on combat since MB Warband was released ages ago, Chivalry2 and For Honor come to mind. Bannerlord hasn't bothered with improving anyting besides graphics.
Dear devs, stop using "early access" as an excuse to work slowly and inefficiently.

Avoid at all costs.

There is no guide telling you where to go, what to do - and when you finally do a thing, two ghost ships destroy your progress for no reason.

BUYER BEWARE; THIS WILL NOT UNLOCK THE CHARACTER

Buying this did not unlock Medjay in-game. Ubi has failed to inform of any technical issues.
When buying, Ubisoft has you sign off on the purchase being non-refundable. So I can't get a refund on something I never received.
This is theft, and must be punished.

Why is this full price? Even at 80% off, this isn't worth it. This is a scam.

* This game is dead, there are no online lobbies *

Not a single lobby worldwide. The only way to play is vs bots, that read your input and react perfectly in nanoseconds.

The combat is otherwise janky, but you will have to chase down your opponent 90% of the fight before getting to the actual combat. That's right, this isn't a fighting game, it's a flying simulator. A bad one at that.

Buying the full version does not unlock all characters. Buying the season pass does not unlock all characters.
You pay $600 to unlock everything.

* The devs are failures, and should put that on their gravestones, buyer beware *