This is a Review for the PC Game Two Worlds The Epic Fail Edition

50 Cons :

1. Piss Poor Animations.
2. Piss Poor Voice Acting.
3. Horrible Dialogue.
4. Horrible game storyline.
5. Idiotic side quest storylines and downright illogical continuations.
6. Lame movespeed with no sprinting.
7. Mediocre character. Never felt like playing his role. Hes a jackass for all I care.
8. Couldnt select female character for some reason. I thought this was an RPG.
9. The towns at the beginning of the game have no women or children, they just have grown old men with lots of hair on chest.
10. Horse whistle sounds like bird chirping. It is what a sparrow sounds like, not a human being's whistle.
11. Horses move like cars, when they are running towards your whistle they slide towards you.
12. Turning around a horse is like turning around a car only difference being you are either on full speed or you STOP completely and move around then press forward.
13. Stiff horse animations get you stuck everywhere.
14. Horse combat is almost impossible to do right.
15. Sneaking is an active skill and not a character movement thing.
16. Combat is ridiculous.
17. Hit detection does not exist.
18. Protagonist's sister is the most unattractive female in all of Tamriel. (Because I bet nobody remembers what the world in Two world's is called)
19. More teleporters than in Portal 2. Even personal teleporters that are reusable and craftable via certain npcs.
20. Huge loads of points to spend on skills on level up.
21. Everything can be combined with everything and everything can be upgraded to the level of inifinity.
22. Combine 10 pearls with 10 Diamonds and you are invincible.
23. Way too many Armor and weapons that force you to change every once in 15 minutes.
24. Horrible Enemy AI.
25. Scripted Archers run away from you when you reach then but try to shoot you as soon as they are 5 metres away from you.
26. Archers take exactly 15 seconds to shoot one arrow.
27. Skeletons are mindless for real in this game and do nothing other than make you play dubstep in the background.
28. VERY Unbalanced ENEMY and NPCs.
29. Piss Poor system of planting an auto target on everyone.
30. Similar clothing and same dialogues for 50% of the population makes me send a fireball to an auto targetted npc then realise he can kill me in 3-4 hits and I barely scratch him. So I die and resurrect like nothing ever happenned.
31. The game experiences 1 season per day.
32. Herbs are so common I can make my own RPG game by collecting them and planting them in it.
33. There are more wolves and boars in this game than any herbivore animal. I wonder how they survive in that kind of a food chain system.
34. The devs made 4 plant types, 3 trees, 2 grass models and exactly 2 shrubs and copy pasted it on the whole map a billion times.
35. Setting HDR to max gives lighting that makes no sense.
36. Stutters out of nowhere.
37. Magic is very underpowered early game.
38. The character plays the character of a self righteous bad-ass wannabe that thinks he is above all.
39. Nonsensical terrain looping. Copy paste all over the big ass map.
40. No such thing as a mountain. Just hills and big rocks.
41. Automated lockpicking system based on probability.
42. Overused and few enemy types with zero behavior differences.
43. People use axes to chop the floor and shovels and sickles to chop trees. For some reason...
44. Horses wont teleport with you, cause they cant enter the teleporter along with you on their back because of model size collision.
45. Arrows fly everywhere except for the TARGET with no indication of wind speed and direction.
46. Character can pickup stuff midway while riding the horse but needs superhuman reflexes to achieve that.
47. Lurable enemies with HP/MP regenerating shrines right next to every fight.
48. NPCs cant be killed, guards cant be killed.
49. Bears are very stubborn creatures that dont even budge when you hit them with a sword, that is till they are dead ofcourse. Because you know, bears feel no pain.
50. BORING.

Can easily name 50 more but ... I got better things to do.

Pros :

1. GREAT GAME START MAIN MENU THEME SONG! Definitely gets you in for some RPG MOOD and then ... well thank you very much.