+1 rep, mister funny man

So me (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) have been together for 2 years now and it has been going really well up until now. Yesterday however, she texted me asking if it would be cool to take a dump on my face. Frankly, that's a bit of a red flag for me (There have been other red flags like the time she fed nyquil to my dog, killing him horribly for a TikTok challenge).

I'm thinking I should decline her offer since it sounds a bit unhygienic and I have aids from having sex with my wheelchair-bound gym teacher who also has erectile disfunction (I felt bad for him). However, her dad claims that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on someone's face is a family tradition that shows love and compaction for a partner. He said that he and his wife ♥♥♥♥ on each other's faces, his parents did the same, and so on.

I kinda see his point since ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on someone is very intimate and requires a lot of trust from both parties.

What do I do?

you gotta listen to this guy below me he's the 'real' deal

Big shoe lmfao, big shoe lmfao

Hey I found your steam through a mutual and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along real well :) I don't normally do things like this cause I'm a real gentleman :3, but do you want to maybe play a bit of cs sometime (omg I'm so embarrassed) >< I could go on my smurf so you don't have to put in that much effort, even though you're like the best and you'll probably be on top every round. When I see your name I just feel like we have this special connection that I can't describe in words, I think.. maybe we knew each other in a past life xDD like I can do the cooking and everything, you don't have to worry about that cuz I'm a real feminist, but I'll still take care of you <3 I know how to make a woman feel like a girl, but I won't do anything that freaks you out, just say one word and I'll stop so so fast! so maybe just consider me? I can't believe I'm writing this all out to you >< !! Even if you reject me it's all worth it just for you, my wuv <3 (plz don't reject me !!)

Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO ♥♥♥♥ *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~