• Exhaust Fan Broke Years Ago

• Eight Of The Keys Are Glued On

• Popcorn Setting

• NVIDIA Graphics Driver

• Racing Stripe

• 8-In-1 Air Fry

• Spit Liquid Coolant System

• Screams If Poked Forcefully

• XL Dirt Cup

• One Of The USB Ports Has Chewing Gum In It

• I Have Dreams Where It Tells Me It Hates Me

• Frequent Clicking Noise (Indeterminate Source)

• EPA Catalytic Converter

• At Least Two Intel Cores, I Reckon

• High Yield Self Destruct Feature

• Runs Doom