i definitely dont need to stand on anything to touch the ceiling, let alone jump on anything to hit my head

All I hear is a quitter, if you can't jump up and touch the ceiling with the help of your bed you really are a gremlin

my bed can't handle any more of the ee er ee er ee er that is happening on it
if it breaks in half, im gonna need you to buy me a new one natty
we really shouldn't be doing what we are doing on it
should really reserve jumping to the couch
maybe even the trampoline in the back

I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with—especially non-humans! I’d rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.

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If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
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We should share lipstick.