⚠️WARNING⚠️ c*ck inspection is NOT required at the voting booths!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my ♥♥♥♥ because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!

+rep mlg god

Fresh off the boat, from Xbox Live, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Steam by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Xbox Live friends would like. None of that here. This ain't Xbox Live, kid. This is Steam. We have REAL good games, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to PSN, you console peasant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet gaming reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest.

I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say to me that a person who does this is a laughable idiot and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta as my preferred pronouns and respect my right to paste unfunny sexually identification copypastas to reddit in hope of receiving virtual internet points. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually Identify as the square root of 2. Ever since I was a boy I dreamt of residing outside Q but in R, dropping paradoxes on disgusting Pythagoreans. People say to me that a person being a number, let alone an irrational, is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install two sides of length 1 and two 45-degree angles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “sqrt(2)” and respect my right to have my decimal expansion continue indefinitely. If you can’t accept me you’re a surdophobe and need to check your number privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.