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Walking around, I've got no one to talk to
There's everyone, and then there's just me
If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it
God only knows why he cursed me to be
A straight white male
I state my problems
Other people roll their eyes
Three trips to the mall
And zero khakis in my size
I've never been the victim
Of a random search for drugs
But you can't say my life is easy
Until you've walked a mile in my UGGs
Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
The women want rights
The gays want kids
Can't you just leave us alone?
And also, no, to the things you asked for
They're being greedy and they know it
Everyone thinks that I've got it easy
Just 'cause it's true, doesn't mean that it's right
So pull up a chair, and put down your pitchfork
Give me a chance to show you what it's like
To be a straight white male