Change Your Perspective

I Quit my Job

I started this group in January of '22, making it almost 2 years since I felt the need to fix my attitude. It's taken me this long to actually do something concrete though. I had 3 reasons for starting this group or 'hub'.

• Lern to write good
  
• Maybe get free curator games offered
  
• Self-diagnose my anger-management issues

In reverse order of course.

2 months ago I quit my job, my attitude at work was showing through under stress, and causing some people to not want to work with me. I was just too stressed at work and took it out on people at work, and at home. I have no job to go to, but I had started taking some counselling and a mood altering drug to boost serotonin levels. Because... I worked out that my anger, was rooted in depression, which was rooted in anxiety, which was all probably down to a bit of ADHD. To quote Shrek, "Ogres have layers!" So why did I really quit my job? Well it had become remote working only, and so I'm now looking for a in-office software QA job. I need people around me.

As an introvert, I'm unusual, I do love to be in the center, but only for a while. I think, the story started a few weeks after Christmas of '21. I hate Christmas, too much people interactions, it stresses me out to be in a small room, full of people talking all the while. I just melted at the family Christmas party, just before desert came around. I got up angrily, walked out and walked home. I later sat down with a mate who was studying to be a counsellor, and he hinted that I might have ADHD... I kinda ignored his assertion at the time. I am nerdy, but I'm not a loner, I like company, and that's why I quit my job recently, we were all working remote and not having someone next to me was eating at me, in a way I did not understand. So I started counselling in September, that was the first layer.

Around Christmas of '23, I had an almost identical Family Christmas party meltdown, my anger management was a real problem, so I meet up with my 'counsellor' friend, who again tries to convince me to get some ADHD training, I ignore him. You see, I was so super busy at work, and stressed at work, and I just thought I could plough through. But eventually the anger had started to create arguments at home. I recently had a chat to missus Z. Married 28 years, and 27 of them was a grumpy Conrad. I had to have yet one more flare-up argument to convince me I needed to go full alcoholics anonymous.

You see, when you have a personal problem, you cannot rely on anyone else to fix it for you. You have to take the initiative. And it's blooming hard, you pretty much have to hit rock bottom, hard, in order to realise the damage the stress and depression creates for you, and others around you. It meant owning up and comming out about my problem. I now have a few people who will hold me responsible for sticking to the new plan. I'll still get angry at times, sure, but I'm committing to never blowing up and acting irrationally and in ways that blame others. Blaming other people has hurt people a lot in my life.

Last week I discovered Blue Sunday, it's an ecclesiastical (fancy word for church) calendar week where Christians are encouraged to think about people who like me struggle with depression over not just Christmas, but over the winter period. Whether that's just loneliness, or actually negative thoughts. Anyway, it was news to me, and since I'm now on the mend I'm just so happy to be in a place where I am able to support other folk. So if this is you, do reach out, send us a friend request and I'll try open a time to talk and a way to do so.