Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

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The Almighty TF2 Species Archive
By Landeyx and 1 collaborators
Hello everybody! I'm Landeyx maker of the "Following the species of TF2" guide,"community weapons" series (together with The Crazed Buttstabber) and "How To Fight With Honour"
Today Prof. Buttstabber and I will bring you a guide including most of the TF2 species. If you see other species we haven't included, then please comment below and we might add the species to our archive.
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Welcome!
Hello everybody we are Prof.Landeyx and Prof.Buttstabber!
Together we have made awesome guides and today we will bring you a guide with most fo the TF2 species. With help of other experienced Professors (The Spycrab Professor "Ze Crab" and sniper specie knower "Lord Huntsman) we have made this awesome archive!
Might you know more species or see new species please let us know in the comments below!
Also,if you want updates on guides,fun,gaming gain friends and more join our group OOF! Species are safe here! http://steamproxy.net/groups/friendsorder
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The Aerial Scout
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Air
Appearance: Common


There are many subspecies of this so called Aerial Scout. They all revolve around jumping and being as high as possible.The species can vary from Wanna-Be Astronauts to Deadly Killers to Olympic Jumpers. Here we will see some of those sub-species:

Force A Nature Aerial Scout


To become a true Aerial Scout, one must pass through some stages. The first one is the Force A Nature Aerial Scout. While they do exist in all TF2 maps, they tend to revolve around High altitude ones, like Double Cross, Steel, Cactus Canyon, Upward, etc.. Scientists are still debating why they choose such places, but most agree that its because they can get easy preys with the cliffs that are common around those locations. They are blood thirsty Beasts, that hide in dark spots to try and catch preys by suprise. The double shot from the force a nature can kill even the mightiest of species. But there is something good with this stage. The amazing push force of the force a nature can help them jump to higher places safely, letting them learn the ropes of an aerial scout while still being protected.

Atomizer Aerial Scout


Now a Atomizer Aerial Scout is the contrary of a Force A Nature Aerial Scout. He is friendly. He is kind. He uses the atomizer to show people that he means no harm by jumping over their head. They normally evolve from more skilled players trying to learn the ways of a Aerial Scout, making them understand other friendly players more easily. But that doesnt mean they cant defend themselfs. They are actually way more skilled than the majority of the Aerial Scouts, being the only one surpassing him the FANA Aerial Scout (see next section). They also tend to be a second stage for the Force a Nature Aerial Scouts, explaining the appearence of some more agressive ones.

Soda Popper Areal Scout

A feared and hated creature and the most skilled of the aerial scouts,the soda popper is a true menace. Often trolling snipers trying to shoot these ultra fast creatures,who have the power to jump 6 TIMES trough the air. The soda popper can also grow into a scout bird,which fly in groups trough the air,performing a ritual at the end of their session wich lets them die. Magnificent.
The Dovaheavy
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Snowy Land
Appearance: Rare

The Dovaheavy is a creature who lives in the dangerous snowy mountains of Teufort.
Dovaheavies have mythical powers wich allow them to "shout".
The Dovaheavy speaks with the tongue of a pootis,that's why hes called Dovapoot or Pootisborn.
Their arsenal consists of many shouts. But the most popular is the Pootisshout.
It consists of 3 parts wich need to be learned and mastered for years until you can move on to the next word. After that you need to train to shout this words in team.
The shout consists out of these 3 parts.
POO-TIS-PAW
POO- is the first part i think the word tells you enough about what the dovaheavy thinks of his enemies. TIS- is the second word and means who the Dovaheavy realy is.
PAW stands for his power and accuracy. The shout releases a straight line of power. If you stand in the Dovaheavy's face when he performs his shout you are... Dead.
The Xenomorph
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Common


Truly a very dangerous species, it as only been discovered in about half a year from the release of this guide. It is known for the Alien Invasion that happened a little bit before October from 2015. They are normally smaller species called the bonkeriuns, that infected scouts by hiding in theyre drinks (hence the name) and strangling them from the inside. What we see are the Xenophorm Scouts, the abomination that the Bonkeriuns create. They are deadly creatures. In theyr ''DNA'', if we can even call it that, lies no fear. Actually, it lies no emotion. The Xenophorm is a hearthless beast, which only concern is the death of TF2 Humanity.
The Candycane
Behaviour: Unknown
Lifespace: Unknown
Appearance: Common

If you have read "Following the endangered species of TF2" you would know what the candycane is. If you didn't we'll tell you right here.
The candy cane is a TF2 specie that uses the "weapon" called the candycane.
It's not used as a weapon but as food.... for aliens
The first specie to use this trick was a pootisbird (with hair!)
Sadly after the negotiations he got captured (See "following the endangered species of TF2" day 4)
But as much people saw the deed of this heroic bird they started to give the aliens candy.
We think that the aliens have a contract with mann co. The aliens weapons for our candy.
So if you don't want a Xenomorph to jump at you right now go get some candy.
The Scoutranha
Behavior: Dangerous
Lifespace: Water
Appearance: Very Rare


Scoutranhas are family of the fanowarscout and the piranha. On a day a fanowar ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a piranha and the first scoutranha was born. Scoutranhas are deadly creatures. You could call them "mini-pyrosharks" Aswell as the pyroshark the scoutranha becomes hostile when a possible enemy enters his territory. He will then grab his fanowar and beat the crap out fo his prey. Scoutranhas are peacefull creatures aslong as you don't enter their territory.
Friendlies
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Everywhere
Appearance: Common



Friendly is, contrary to popular belief, not a species by itself. Its a behavior that species and regular TF2 players can adapt. Its a sign that you wont fight unless forced to it. Its a sign that you will help anyone, not mattering who is it. One of the most popular friendly species are the hoovys, that in a sign of their friendship they give their sandvichs.
The Cheetah Scout
Behaviour: VERY VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Rare

The Cheetah Scouts are a very dangerous species that usually cause chaos and destruction in packs of 2 or more Scouts. They can be friendly to those offering sandviches or any other food. However without it they are most likely to attack you using their bat to punch you out of existance. Their enemies are the Roman Pyros.


The Panman
Behaviour: Not friendly
Lifespace: Everywhere
Appearance: Uncommon


The Panman is an all-class specie but is often limited to the scout. People like to call these people Scunts. Scunts always scream like little babies for a dispenser because they're very scared. With their annoying pan they make lots of noise to hope that an engineer will come make a dispenser for them. Most of the time Scunts are just (remove s from scunts) who want to piss off their fellow animals.
The Fanowarscout
Behaviour: Not Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Common


Fanowarscouts are hated in the normal badlands and loved in MVM. Because of their minicrits on hit they are a good help in MVM,often alone there. However,in the badlands they roam in packs of 4-8 to piss of players. They are dangerous,so look out for them.
The Scout elf
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Snow
Appearance: Christmas


Scout elfs appear during christmas. They help santa or are Elf-like dressed noobs who want to hurt your feelings by saying that you won't get a gift from santa. If you hurt or KILL a scout elf there are two things wich will happen maybe.

1:You don't get a gift from santa for the rest of your life.
OR
2:You just killed a noob who wants to show-off. Santa is happy.
The Hammers
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Everywhere
Appearance: Halloween


At halloween the hammer gets magically overpowered,with a higher chance of minicrits this would be a very dangerous weapon,only at halloween though.
The Spycrab
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Very Rare


The Spycrab is one of the most well known Species in TF2. The Spycrabs are a Endangered Kind killed everyday on Valve or Skial servers by F2P's and Tryhards. They also can't see very well so they can easily get stuck on a barrier or fall from a pit. They are friendly but CAN try to ambush you when in bigger groups. If in that kind of a situation, slowly back away or give them a Sandvich to make them go away. Otherwise The Spycrabs are Party Species that hang around Control Points and bigger groups.
The Boxshpee
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Common

The Boxshpee is a creature wich uses a cardboard box as defense and stealth device.
We think he has learned this trick from the Turtleneer. Who uses sentries to build himself in a corner to defend himself from spies.
The Boxshpee has 4 variations.


The Friendly Boxshpee

These creatures are purely seeking a safe place to lay it's eggs. It's a magnific sight when the boxshpee can safely lay eggs and for sure when these come out. Sadly there aren't much safe places in the Badlands because of the overwhelming ammount of CSGO tryhards and gibuses.
Still much people try to help the boxshpee.


The assassin box

This box has survived the badlands and seen it eggs being destroyed. It has taken up the fight to the gibuses and literally anyone who seems harmfull. They sneak behind a target then they come out of their protective shell. Kill the target run to a safe spot and then they go as a box again so nobody finds them.


The Troll Boxshpee
As simple as it is this boxspy just hides himself at a capture point. Blending in with the other props he saves his team or just does this for his amusing.


The Unusual Boxshpee

One of the rarest variations of the boxsphee, it is as dangerous as it looks. One of the only survivors of the alien invasion, he hid himself in a box to get away from the ship. Its thanks to him that we know so much about the aliens (check our previous species guide). But still, he has the terrible and not at all valuable unusual effect. Because of it, he never leaves his box, not even to mate, making the specimen in this photo the only existing one.
The Democrab
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: VERY VERY RARE

Democrabs are mostly friendly creatures. Though when they're hunting,they can be very dangerous! Democrabs don't have a preferance for food. They'l just eat anything they can find. When you see a democrab do NOT kill it! The democrab is a VERY RARE specie! Baby democrabs can be very fragile,confused about what is happening. That's why the baby democrab is a friendly creature. If you scare it,it will run or become hostile to you.
The Croco Sniper
Behaviour: Hostile
Lifespace: Land and water
Appearance: Rare


The Croco Sniper swims in waters of TF2 maps. He tries to hunt other Pyrosharks but often fails. He isn't that dangerous when in sight with other players. He usually bites their legs and holds to them till pushed off. It is best just to avoid them as they are not that big of a threat.
The Owl Sniper
Behaviour: Friendly
Habitat: Air
Rarity: Rare


Description:

The Owl Sniper is a friendly creature, often hiding amongst bushes, or in trees. They shouldn't be taken for a joke though, as they can be very dangerous, throwing pointy rocks and all at you.If you encounter one, feel free to stroke it and pet it. They love attention, but are too scared to go out and find people. They like fish.
Bull Heavy
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Halloween

Bull Heavies are creatures who HATE everything. When they see something they will smash it like a raging 9 year old kid. You see what power they have. The bull heavy likes to eat the buffalo steak sandvich. Some say they are family of the Heavy Bear and Bullineer. Do never tell a bull heavy he looks like a cow. If you do,run.
The Bullineer
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: On a bull
Appearance: Uncommon

The engineer has made a new machine. After the rancho relaxo chair he made this awesome bull. Engineers use this to train the steel of their crotch. This could be another form of being a Lazyneer but the engineer needs to keep himself up on that bull to train his balls. Try shooting an engineer in the crotch. Nothing will happen! WHAT NOW SCIENCE?
The Pootisbird
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Air
Appearance: Uncommon


The only know hoovy species that we are aware of where they get theyr sandvichs (Ass), this are the pootis bird. Sizes vary alot between subspecies, that I will not go on explaining here, but most stay around a little bit taller than a normal hoovy. They are normally seen in packs, or where at least, until the Great Gibus War (GGW) where the pootis bird where used as slaves by the Gibus. Even though they are powerfull and smart, they were agaisnt violence, so they refused to hurt the Gibus. The Gibus tho, while they may have been dumb, they realized the force behind the Pootisbird. They used them as work force for building the feared G Bombs (Gibus Bombs). When done with the production of the G Bombs, they were also used in battle as disguised shields. The ATS (Allied Tf2 Species) did not recognize the pootisbird in battle, because the gibus placed gibus on top of them. Millions were slaughtered, making theyr numbers close to none. After the war was done, all Pootis bird entered the Protection Program to make theyr numbers grow again, but even today we still see the harm the war made on theyr numbers. We almost never see two Pootis bird together because of it. Another recent event in the Pootisbird history record was the Alien Invasion. If you see our Species Guide, you will see all the story told, but making it short, I will explain it here. The Pootis Birds allied themselfs with the Aliens in a attempt to get out of a ''TF2 Species zoo''. In doing so, they allowed the alien to run away and spread the word agaisnt in the hive that all tf2 species should be destroyed (all but the pootis bird). Thanks to the pootis birds, the aliens managed to prepare a full on attack on Earth. But its also thanks to them that we knew about the Secret Items (The Candy canes). A alien normally left candy canes all over the place when he walked, so one of them is a sign of a alien being close.
The Medimedes
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Air
Appearance: Rare


The Medimedes is a rare Specie mostly living in Air or in small maps with pits and cliffs. It's basically a flying Medic with a Archimedes head that heals other teammates and annoys the hell out of enemies. The Medimedes is kind of a Scout that tells the postions of other enemies to its teammates and heals them too. They are sometimes seen helping or feeding other Pootisbirds or other bird Species. The Medimedes can't actually do any harm and can only annoy a little. The best tactic for them is to bait them with sandviches.
The Screaming Eagle
Behaviour: Hostile
Lifespace: Air
Appearance: Rare

The screaming eagle always patrols the air. When he sees a target he glides super-rapidly down right into his target! Blood everywhere! When the screaming eagle is in danger he uses his kamikaze attack screaming "gimme a cupcake" and then exploding,dieing like a stupid hero.
The Demon Pyro
Behaviour: VERY VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Hell
Appearance: VERY VERY RARE

Demon pyros are creatures who patrol the hell. Gigantic axes of fire and wings used by them to gain air support. They have the power to shoot fire out of their hands and anyone looking in their eyes,will turn into ash. Few people manage to outrun this creature.
The Demorai
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Common

The Demorai,a demoman fighting with pure honour,using the half-zaitochi to rip it's enemies apart and gain half his hp back. Fighting other demorai or samusoldiers is easy for them. Patience is their most deadly weapon. There aren't much animals who can defeat the demorai. A demorai has only ONE fear.

The Whip Soldier
The Fat Scout
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Rare

The Fat scout is a heavy who misses the times when people weren't laughing at him for his slowness and fat appearance. Taking up the boxing gloves of running urgently and his shotgun he becomes a fast murder machine. But with double the HP! Call that a smart heavy!
The Bear Heavy
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Common

This picture is a lie. This heavy bear may look cute but in REAL LIFE heavy bears are murder machines only thinking about eating and fighting. Hardened warriors made out of pure steel killing bears with their hands,ripping of their skin and wearing it as a trophy:that are heavy bears. They use the buffalo steak to gain crits for becoming a murder machine. Heavy bears are not likely to be friendly but if you give them a buffalo steak they will be tamed (for you) or take the sandvich,eat it and rip you apart.
The Roman Pyro
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Rare

Roman pyros are wealthy and strong warriors. Berserking at enemies and killing them with their axes Roman Pyros can even outstand the cheetah scout. Their colored armour shows their muscles. Their helmet shows their wealth.
The Keltic Demoman
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Very rare

Keltic Demomen are strange warriors. They live in dark places in the mountains. Fearless fighters who will split you in half with one slash from their allmighty swords. keltic demomen are known to have alot of patience. Sometimes they stalk their prey for 2 hours! When their prey sees them and runs away the keltic demoman uses a charge to chase him. If the prey becomes hostile the demoman waits until his prey is close,then he strikes and gets his food.
The Pyromancer
Behaviour: Very Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Very rare

The Pyromancer is a Pyro who has found his true powers. Shooting fire out of his hands. Pyromancers are Very Dangerous because of their ability to Fly! They use the fire to gain altitude and shoot their enemies from above. Mostly seen in medieval servers,pyromancers aren't seen that much.
The Demowolf
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Uncommon

The Demowolf is a hunting specie feared by most other species. They turn into their form at full moon,hunting spycrabs... Not finding them because spycrabs are endangered! SAVE THEM!
The Ninjascout
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Uncommon

Ninjascouts are people with pure honour,roaming the maps of TF2 for a worthy challenge.
Ninjascouts use weapons like the three rune blade/boston basher.
They have also acces to the deadly "Sandman/guillotine" combo.
They work together with demorai and samusoldiers and are mostly seen performing tricks.
Having acces to double jump and sometimes using the force a nature for high altitude they jump their prey wich will be dead within seconds.
Don't mess with these guys.
However,much ninja scouts are friendly too.
The Sniperoo
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Halloween

The sniperoo is a sniper with a kangooroo body. Having the ability to jump VERY HIGH they can patrol the air and sense where their enemies are. Scoping in when landed and killing their enemy perfectly. Hard to catch,you should use sticky traps or other sniper(oo)s to catch them.
The Pyroshark
Behaviour: VERY VERY VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Water
Appearance: TOO COMMON

One of the most dangerous,common and feared creatures,pyrosharks are fearsome preadtors patrolling the waters with their neon annihilator,critting everybody coming near their territory,wich leads to death... They can breath in water and keep themself warm with warm cosmetics (like the sub-zero suit). Breathing trough oxygen tanks with water-vision.
The Demopan
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Very Rare

The Demopan,a strong but unpredictable creature wandering the badlands with only has pan and shield. His pan is made out of pure tin,there are only few demopans with gold pans. The golden demopan is considered the rarest of all species. The demopan has got an amazing feeling for fashion with his "dangeresque, too?" glasses and "bounty hat". The shout of the demopan is "Stout shako for 2 refined!" Wich got destroyed during the horrible tough breakus because of ESCROW!
Stop Escrow,help the demopan. Demopan were using their ultimate weapon,sending a well timed trade offer to their enemy,making it confused. Wich will not work now because whenever you get a trade offer you should decline it because of ESCROW. Stop Escrow,help the demopan.
The Pyroknight
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Uncommon

The Pyroknight is a medieavl pyro using his axe of fire to ♥♥♥♥ up his enemies! Even an enemy for the allmighty whip soldier and the demorai,you should not underestimate the Pyro Knight. He has amazing defence and as i said before A FIRE AXE!
The Flyengineer
Behaviour: Unknown
Lifespace: Air
Appearance: Halloween

Flyengineers are disgusting creatures laying their eggs in slimy places. Pairing with other flyengineers they create huge sentry nests. As babies these sentries are harmless but once grown-ups they can be very dangerous! Still not much is known about this specie,they sense spies and enemies nearby. So watching them with cloak n dagger is impossible!
The Demoparrot
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Air
Appearance: Rare

The Demoparrot and Pootisbird have alot in common. The Demoparrot has also acces to flying (faster then the pootis bird) and spams stickies at his enemies. He also looks cool and has an amzing feeling for humor,making him a loved specie.
The Jedi
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Unknown
Appearance: Very Rare

Jedi are creatures who use sabers made of pure light and a mysterious power called the force.
The force gives them acces to special abilities like telepathy.
*A jedi is reading the mind of a heavy*
*I want Sandvich*
The force also gives them control of telepathy.
*Huzzah! Come here Atomic Punch!*
And acces to hypnotise people!
Jedi: You give me your sandvich.
Heavy: I give you my sandvich.
Jedi: You pee in your pants.
Heavy: I pee in my pants.
Jedi: Ugh,that smells....
The sabers they use are called Batsabers. They have incredible power and uh yeah...
Are able to cut you in half....

Also theres something weird bout the jedi. You have the light and dark side. the difference is that the dark side has very cool ticks and the light side has tricks like that too! Only thing:nothing much known about the light side. Also,Dark side characters can.... rage.

The Whip Soldier
Behaviour: VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Rare


WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY RARE, SISSY? The WHIP SOLDIER is spreading like a plague through the BadLands. You cant survive a melee fight against the whip. NOTHING can survive a melee fight with a whip Soldier. Even if you decide to use guns, we will whip our teammates to catch you. Even if you decide to use sentries, a whip soldier isn't afraid to use Rockets to defeat sentries. So... you want to join the whip master race? All you gotta do is use a whip and nothing else. But we also got some advice to the primary and secondaries. The secondary would be obviously the Concheror, that with the health regeneration and an awesome speedboost on Blowing, makes you invincible. A direct hit is also adviced to be used to take out the pesky sentries. JOIN THE WHIP ARMY TODAY!!!!

Written by TCB, a fellow whip lover.

Note from prof. Landeyx

Be warned! Whip soldiers are VERY dangerous! When they hunt in group they are unstoppable. Using their speed to piss off people and make them confused and THEN they strike. Even a whip soldier on his own is unstoppable! Buy your ks strange whip today!
The Pybro
Behaviour: VERY DANGEROUS
Lifeplace: Engineer nests
Appearance: Uncommon

Pybro's are born spy hunters. They help Engineers to defend their nests. When a spy manages to sap an Engineers building they get the sapper of that building with their homewrecker. They're also very good against enemy engineer buildings because they deal 2 times more damage to enemy buildings! A spy can't escape the pybro. They sense their dead ringer by looking at the body. They hear their spycicle burn. They follow his footsteps over the sound of miniguns and rockets. They know where spies hide. How they disguise themselves. How they recognize them.
You can't escape the pybro.
The Turtleneer
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Uncommon

The Turtleneer is a shielded creature. Being born in swamps as little baby turtleneers they can't see very well yet. That's until they get their goggles. At this point turtleneers don't have their shells yet. After the turtleneer is 5 hours old it will get his shield,protecting him from the dangers of the badlands. Turtleneers begin locking themselves in their sentry nest. Their shell functions as a razorback,only thing. Their shell is unbreakable! Using this they can sometimes reflect projectiles! But the turtleneer still has it's sentry shooting his enemies while he can safely lay it's eggs.
The Gibus
Behaviour: VERY HOSTILE (but not dangerous)
Lifeplace: everywhere
Appearance: Everywhere

The Gibus is the most-seen and most-hated specie in TF2. Everybody has been a gibus. Everybody was a little baby gibus who needed help. Saw those awesome hats and wanted them for themselves. They begged for hats. Tried to kill as much people as they could for hats! Rage! Until they uninstalled TF2 or grew out to a F2P with hats or P2P. Not all gibuses grow up this way. Some are proud of their gibus,others just want normal hats. Not unusuals,australiums...
Don't hate the gibus,you've been one yourself.
Except for the P2P's who buyed TF2 in the orange box.

The Tryhard
Behaviour: VERY HOSTILE
Lifeplace: Everywhere
Appearance: Common

As the name allready says,tryhards want to try the hardest to get a killstreak. Most of the time tryhards are COD or CSGO players who only want to kill creatures for that killstreak. Spending money on hats and keys to show-off.
The Alien
Behaviour: Unknown
Lifeplace: Unknown
Appearance: Unknown

A mutated spy from the alien invasion. This alien has its subspecies too. The alien-boxcrab the alien-spycrab... Yet not much is known about the main specie and its subspecies...
The Combat Medic
Behaviour: VERY VERY DANGEROUS
Lifeplace: Land
Appearance: Common

The Combat Medic,one of the most feared species of Teufort. Taking up it's ubersaw to get uber in only 4 HITS! With his crossbow as a deadly weapon,aiming for weak creatures can the Combat Medic wipe out an entire team! Some combat medics are so skilled they can defeat whip soldiers and fight against the Demopans ultimate trade offer attack!
The Lazyneer
Behaviour: Lazy
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Common



*Burps* You see son... Im too lazy to write anything today. *Drinks Beer* I mean, wouldnt you be tired too if you passed all day searching for places to drink and relax without some scout ♥♥♥♥♥♥ with ya askin for a dispenser? *Gets more confortable in chair and burps again*. So... if you dont mind, Im going to stay here, in this guide... It seems like a nice place to relax, maybe sleep a while. *You hear the distinct sound of a fart* No scout in sight... *You hear a beep and bullets, followed by a scout scream of agony*. All the beers I could ever want. *He pulls another beer out and drinks*. A nice metal chair. I mean, what more could a Lazyneer ask for?
The Assassin
Behaviour: Very Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Rare

Lurking from the shadows,blending in with other people,waiting to strike silently without somebody even recognizing you just died. The Assassin is a master of sneaking and killing.
The W+M1
Behaviour: VERY VERY VERY DANGEROUS
Lifeplace: Everywhere
Appearance: Common

Do I need to explain anything?
The Soldroid
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Ultra Rare



The Soldroid is a rare Specie found mostly on Valve or Skial servers. He wears Robot styled cosmetics. (Don't tell him they're fake :P) He won't harm you but we don't recommend fighting with him. He is mostly aware and can easily kill you if necessary. Altough he won't do it without reason. The Soldroid mostly hides in corners avoiding fights

BATMAN
Behaviour: Mysterious
Lifespace: BEHIND YOU
Appearance: Rare

He's batman. He's watching you from the roofs. He stalks you. He waits for his moment. He knows you dream of unicorns. He's behind you. HE'S BEHIND ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The Demoknight
Behaviour: Very Dangerous
Lifeplace: Everywhere
Appearance: Quite rare


The Demoknights are a Very Dangerous kind of a Demomans that only use Medieval Weapons like shields and swords. They were one of the main forces against the Tryhards in the GTW (Great Tryhard War) so their population is quite low. They are extremely Dangerous and will try to rush you when in sight. They are mostly seen on Valve or Medieval servers in bigger groups.
The Koala
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Forests
Appearance: Rare

The Koala,a cute creature wich CAN be dangerous but is most of the time friendly. They ride the snipers back and help him,or just go as a sniper themself using their piss to throw it at you.

A sniper losing their koala,or in the other way. Is very depressed,often thinking to kill themselves or getting revenge. Snipers and koalas are very close friends telling eachothr their secrets.

Sniper: "I throw piss at people."
Koala:
Sniper: "Thanks for being such a good friend!"
The Dino
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Uncommon

As dino's are friendly most of the time,if you kill them,they want revenge. They will seek and hunt you until they find you and rip you apart. Often disguising as friendly creatures. The dino is a master of stealth.
The Potato
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Endangered

Save them.
The Pyroduck
Behaviour: Friendly
Lifespace: A pool
Appearance: Common

Suggeste by Johnny Mcnuggets
The Pyroduck is a pyro relaxing in his pool. Often in the middle in the battlefield,this pyro can get easily wounded or killed. Loved by everyone and very clean!
THE BADASS SPACE SOLDIER
Behaviour: BADASSLY DANGEROUS
Lifespace: CANT YOU SEE? SPACE!
Appearance: BADASS!

by space grunt
http://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=607493466
The Pocket Medic
Behaviour: With Hoovy: Ignorant and sometimes friendly. Without Hoovy: Panicked and very agressive
Lifespace: Around their healing target
Appearance: Way too common

Suggeste by "The Easiest Enemy"

A way too common species, the pocket medic is known for healing one patient and no one else, not even to save his life. Skill varies alot in the speciement, but roughly 60% are Gibus or new players that watched way too many times the ''Meet the Medic'' video and wont stop healing the fat bastard. While there have been lots of cases of very sucessfull Pocket Medics, most die to the lack of skill of their choosen healing partner or lack of their own skill. A very important ritual is the choice of the healing partner. Some choose before hand, be it a long time friend or another pocket medic (for them uberchains). But most choose on the spot. The skilled ones choose through a trial and error scheme, until they find the best player on their team. Gibus choose through who has the best hat (works way too many times). New players choose through how much fatness one has.
GabeN
Behaviour: SALES!!!
Lifespace: Unknown
Appearance: Never seen
Suggested by: Nerf the weapon wich just killed me
The Lord and saviour of all human. GabeN. Torturing us with escrow,random crits,autobalances,sales and no half-life 3. WHY MY LORD? WHY? If you ever see this guy,don't talk to him or you will be wiped out of this universe.
The Samusoldier
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land
Appearance: Uncommon

Suggested by: Lots'a people
The samusoldier can be seen as a demorai,the only difference being slower but tankier.
This guy won't go away when some scunts pan him to death,he respawns and takes revenge by killing the entire enemy team. Don't mess with the samusoldier,as he is a warrior with pure honour and eternal patience.
The Soldeer
Behaviour: Dangerous
Lifespace: Land/air
Appearance: Rare

Suggested by: Lots'a people
Think the soldeer is a peacefull creature? WRONG! THIS GUY IS A NIGHTMARE! Often wandering arround on hightower he kills all snipers he sees. The soldeer is a pure market-gardener and enemy of snipers. Yes,that's right,he's a flying deer. The soldeer mostly eats snipers,scouts or grass. He likes fish too. Boxcrabs get killed by this MONSTER!
The Brony
Behaviour: Magic
Lifespace: Magic
Appearance: Magic

I LUV MY LITTLE PONY AND MAGIC! I WILL KISS YOUR TOES WITH MY MAGICAL LIPS.
PUN ALERT! BEWARE!
As you can see,bronies are very "horny".

*laughter*
Diseases
TF2 animals or normal civillians can have rare diseases.
Momentally there are 3 known diseases.

The Conga Disease (Love and war)

The Conga disease made it's appearance in the Love And War update. The conga is referred to the mother from all diseases as it was the first disease AND taunt. The Conga Disease is known to KILL scouts.

Kazotsky Disease (Gunmettle)

The Kazotsky disease made it's appearance in the Gunmettle update. It is one of the most effective diseases. The Conga and Kazotsky disease had much fights against eachother. The Kazotsky disease has made the conga disease almost dissapear.

Mannrobics Disease (Tough Break)

Little is known about this disease yet other that it's again confronting another disease. Will the same thing happen to the Kazotsky disease as happened to the Conga disease?
Wars
In the history of TF2 there have been much wars. For example you have the WAR! update. Demoman and soldiers were grand enemies. Other wars are not known about. In this section we will enlighten some wars.


But first we must define, what is a war in TF2. A war is a battle between two different ideas, two diferent styles of playing, or just against an alien race, like the Xenophorms. A war has to be longer than a week to be consider a war or it is just a small conflict (Great Boxsphee War is an exception to this rule, because of the ammount of dead Shpees). So, let us get started.
The Great Gibus War


The Great Gibus War, 23 of June of 2011 - 27 June 2012

The longest of wars, it started when TF2 became F2P. It only ended when the pyromania update came out and everyone united in one simple cause: rainbows! As the game became F2P and didnt require money to enter it now, every type of strange players entered the ''community''. I say ''community'' like this because said community was praticlly destroyed. TF2 as we knew it was no longer the teamwork expected game, with a friendly community ready to help. With the new players, that had no clue of what they were doing, all went down hill. The market almost crashed, many species ceased to exist, to be reborn years latter after the The Great Tryhard War (Spycrab, Pootis Bird, etc.) and Valve Servers became all out wars between the two factions. TF2 became devided between two sides, the Allies, consisting of all of the known species and pre-Uber Update normal players with some new skilled players comming to help them through theyr struggle, and the Gibus, consisting of all new players that were not willing to learn what it meant to be a TF2 player. While the Allies did hhave the tecnological advantage, the Skill Advantage and the Fashion advantage, the Gibus outnumbered them by 10 gibus Players for each Allied players. It was a hard fought battle, with many players from both sides quitting the game in hopes of finding another community that they may fit in. The Allies eventually won, but with an outstanding ammount of loses on both sides. The agremeent made in the end was that the Gibus Players may continue to roam the Badlands as they wish with the agreement of not killing any species and not starting any forum war. This rules have been broken thousands of times by the Gibus, but the Allies have not wanted to start another war so all of them have been resolved in small conflits. But this war was not just bad stuff. It brought many advancments to our game in the hope of Allies getting a leg up the Gibus Plans. It introduced the High Fives, as a secret code to confuse the Gibus. It was even this war that started the tradiction to wear two cosmetics at the same time, some common now days but crazy at the time. Now, in the weapon department, Allied enginners all around the world got together to design plans to invent a weapons that could fight the Gibus off. They needed a weapon that could take the uber from the Gibus medics, while also taking off cloack from spys. They invented the pompson. They also needed a way to teleport back to headquarters when theyr nest got overrun by the massive number of Gibus. The Eureka Effect was created. Pyros also needed new equipment, as the w+m1 style of fight of the enemy proved ever so popular and effective agaisnt them. The ever so hated monstrosity, the phlog, was design and deployed. Now days its considered a war crime for any pre-Uber update to use a phlog. The Third degree and the Manmelter were created as a way to help and kill medics. And this is only scratching the surface. The heavys wanted a way to stop the Major Gibus Threats (mostly heavys and demos), so they used the Holidy punch as a new weapon in their arsenal. The spys wanted a way to manage to survive the feared Pyro Gibus rush. The Spy-cicle didnt took much to apear. And the scout got a wrapping paper, Why? The enginners were felling way to tired at that point.
The Great Tryhard War


18 June 2014 - 2 July 2015

The Great Tryhard War. I still remembered it very well. It was the first major update that we, the writers, The Crazed Buttstaber and Landeyx, witnessed that started the war. Anyone too lazy to check what happened on 18 June 2014, it was the Love and War Update. It had new weapons, which everyone liked, and it had a cool video. But something rocked the community like an hurricane. It was new. It was fun. It was vibrant. It was a message of love from Valve itself to us, the friendly community. It was The Conga.... Conga was fun in the beggining. Everyone was enjoying it. At least almost everyone. There was a small group from the Great Gibus War that did not like this new way of friendliness. They were the Tryhards. Born for war, tryhards are not as bad as everyone thinks. They just follow the rules that they have been thought. Kill enemy team. Help yours. They were nothing but a small community before the great Gibus War. The friendlys were also nothing more than a small group of species tho. When the war broke out, all of these small groups grew alot. The friendlys grew in a need to perserve the heart of TF2, a goofy game not meant to be played too seriously. The Tryhard grew because we still needed something to kill the Gibus, without any mercy. The Tryhards, a nest of good, battle-hardened players, who saw mercy as an excuse for not wanting to fight a clearly stronger opponent, were perfect for the job. They slaughtered them by the hundreds. But, after the war, the now enourmous group had nothing to do but to kill off some Gibus here and there. Without anyone knowing, they formed an alliance with the Gibus, in hopes of one day using there massive number with theyr skill in an all out war agaisnt the community. That day came on the Love and War update. Out of the sudden, all theyr favorite servers were filled with Conga. Conga here. Conga there. Conga EVERYWHERE. The tryhard finnaly found the reason to start the war. ''Our favorite hunting spots shall not be filled with this desiese'' they said '' We shall kill them. We shall perserve what TF2 really means. WE shall save TF2!''. And with that, Gibus and Tryhards unitted agaisnt a common foe, the conga. But really now, the conga wasnt bad. It was a way of having fun on a FPS. But the Tryhards didnt see that. All they saw was free kills. And so the slaughter begin. And it went on until the conga just kind of stopped with time. Or at least thats what the Tryhards thought. What was happening behind the scenes was something completely different. The former Allies, now together to face a new threat, were building a massive army to stop the tryhards dead on theyr tracks. Hundreds of Demoknights, turtleenginners, Pyro-sharks, Aerial Scouts and much much more were being ''stockpilled'' to fight them. And so it happened on 8 December 2014. A massive train full of explosives was built by the tryhards to blow the last conga users out of the face of the badlands. But this time, the Allies were not gonna let them kill them. They gave up theyr friendly ways and tried to stop the train at all costs. It all was saved by a Hoovy and a pocket medic. Stopping the train with his sheer hugging power, he almost died, even with uber. But they managed to do it. The tryhards had spent almost every resource they had on the train. And now they faced a well armed and varied enemy. But they would not give up too. They fought on. They fought until 2 July 2015. That day, Valve noticed what was happening for about an year now and decided to make an update to stop the war. Its name was ''Gun Mettle''. It had balance changes to the Tryhards, and new taunts for the Allies. The Allies and the Tryhards, now both happy with what happened, decided to stop the war. Only one faction remained unsatisfied. And those were the Gibus. Will we see a Gibus comeback one of these days? Will they allie themselfs with a more powerfull foe, like on this war? Maybe, but now, as the community that we are, we shall resist. We shall fight. And we shall NEVER SURRENDER!!
The Alien Invasion

In 2015 aliens came to Teufort. They saw the habitants of the badlands as testing subjects and wanted to know how a hat could burn without burning down. A massive wave of Aliens came from space bringing cosmetics and species with them,infecting our species. This is when the alien spy came to existance,the xenomorph and the xenopyro. Teufort saw the UFO's as a threat. Normal bullets or rockets didnt affect the UFO's. Engineers all arround the badlands searched for the ultimate weapon to fight this menace. Atlast they found it. A lazyneer was relaxing on a cliff. Suddenly an UFO appeared under him. He was scared and fell off his chair to his death. The chair fell onto the UFO. The bottles of beer wich were in the chair broke and the UFO exploded. The anti-alien weapon was beer! The inhabitants of The Badlands started gathering all the beer they could find,but still they didn't work together. Pootis birds found a prevention too. A Pootis Bird in an animal centre (who was locked up together with an alien) found out aliens like candy. The Pootisbird gave the alien candy so he wouldn't kill him. After that this same Xenomorph killed all the residents and captured the pootisbird in his UFO. Many candycanes were given to the aliens after this moment. Beer was the anti weapon,so we had to fight! Jedi,pootisbirds,tryhards,gibuses,lazyneers,monkeyneers,friendlies,spycrabs,boxspies... they all fought against this menace. Many lives were lost. Even the most skilled players died. The Teams started scavenging the UFO's and found new weapons (The C.A.P.P.E.R.,The Batsaber) and cosmetics to protect themselves. The infected species became more powerfull and helped too. After the Aliens were defeated. The Lazyneer population drastically sank. All their beer was gone! Beer was something they needed to live! How could they survive without it? Some chose the give up being a lazyneer,others kept going trough this beerless stage for a while and others just killed themselves...
The Great Boxshpee War

The Temple of the Boxspies... Far away from earth from the horrifying creatures of teufort who try to kill these species. The boxspies ned resources. Their cardboard boxes were rotting. They ned warmth and comfort in theor boxes. Without their boxes they couldn't survive. But not every box was ok for these species. The real cardboard they need is in 2fort.... they had no choice to go back to Earth.

The caravans arrived,everything seemed safe... But the engis knew the boxspies were coming. A massive nest was build killing every boxspy wich would come near the nest. Hundreds of sentries stood there. Hundreds of dispensers to heal the engineers.

Pyros guarded the base,boxspies were killed. The boxspies ned to know the weak spot of the base. Hours long they planned their attack. The boxspies dead-ringed in the base and came out of their disguise,killing the engineers and destroying the sentries. This became known as the great boxspy massacre. The boxspies found their cardboard and returned to their temple where they could hope for the safety of their children...
The Great Anthropede war
Disclaimer:These species aren't in TF2 (yet) and are made up by "The witch-king of Angmar". Because this war was written so well we decided to add it in.
The Great Anthropede war ended with the battle Of Degrootkeep (1 B.U.) ((B.U. means before UBER update))
What is an Anthropede?

This is an Anthropede,fear this ♥♥♥♥♥.
The Great Degroot War was the first great war, that started with the creation of the antrhopedes by the Aztecineer king.
He bred thousands of them, and eventually they went to war with the people of cp_degrootkeep. The King at the time, Telchar Degroot, fought back with the help of the Dovaheavies, the order of the Medic mages, and the Archers from the mountains. Eventually the tides turned for Telchar's forces, and they fought the anthropedes back to the Aztecineer's capitol city, Dell Dorado. Telchar and his legion of Demoknights pushed their way into the palace, only to find the Aztecineer dead, with a sharpened volcano fragment in his heart.

Only 2 months later, the Kingdom of Degroot had gotten news that various villagers came under fire (no pun intended) from the Pyroknights, and that they were heading to the Castle of Degroot. King Telchar once again mustered his forces, and met the pyroknights headlong in the fields of koth_harvest_final. In the end King Telchar and his Demoknights prevailed, but the Pyroknights were not defeated.

1 year and a half later, the Pyroknights attacked King Telchar and his castle without warning. The Battle lasted for 3 days. The first day the pyroknights decimated the outer villages of the town and killed off The captain of the guard. The second day the Demoknights, with the help of the Dovaheavies, Dwarfineers, Medic mages, and Archers were able to push the pyroknights back to the Battlefield Hill. But the pyroknights countered with Anthropedes, Pyro dragons, and new soldiers, the Berserker Heavy and the Slicer Medics former dovaheavies and medic mages tortured and corrupted until their will was bent to server the pyroknights. Eventually both forces retreated until the next day.

The third day, also known as the day of unnumbered tears, started with the leader of the pyroknights being the Pyromancer, the greatest threat known to mann-kind. It led the attack into Degroot Keep where the final battle would be. In the end the pyroknights sacked the castle, killing all inside it, while King Telchar brought to the Pyromancer, where the latter beheaded him. As this happened, the Great Gabe Newell was angry with the pyros and came down, obliterating all in the castle, leaving Degroot keep as an abandoned stronghold until the Gravel Pit Wars, where it would be the battleground for decedents of those ancient races.

This was fully made by "The Witch-King of Angmar",awesome story!
The Second Great Gibus War
The Phlog Crisis
During the Tough Break period (which was a real tough break) Valve decided to buff a weapon we all hate.
The Phlog.
Now you could make a 40 killstreak with this thing.
Every pyro had a phlog.
I'd rather not talk about it.
Thanks!
Thank you for reading! This guide has costed us ALOT of time! Two full months!
Please rate fairly!

Check out our other guides!


The History of TF2:
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=629363586

Following the endangered species of TF2:
http://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=517570005

How To fight with honour:
http://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=585522495

The Ancient Technique of Pootis Pow!
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=774942477

Spychecking:
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=621558290
614 Comments
The man with a pan 14 Apr @ 4:30pm 
Where's the pyro that airblasts people off of ledges for their own amusement (me)
Heshynver 30 Mar @ 8:25am 
I'm waking up to ash and dust. I wipe my ass and I slap my nuts, I'm breathing in my testicles. I'm wiping ass, I'm hitting balls, and slapping nuts! It really hurts! This is it, the nutpocalypse... Woah! I'm slapping nuts, I'm sucking all the toes, I'm fucking all the hoes! I cum while I'm crying!
Citrus aurantiifolia 22 Mar @ 9:33pm 
where lime scout
秋本人 14 Nov, 2023 @ 7:48am 
i learned so much thank you so much
50 BMG Ratshot 18 Oct, 2023 @ 12:15am 
i learned so much thank you so much
Evee Role G 10 Sep, 2023 @ 5:50am 
#ProtectBoxshpee
CrazyBird199 4 Aug, 2023 @ 8:59am 
This guide is art
sillogamer 3 May, 2023 @ 10:30am 
Fat scout should be common/uncommon
scorb 28 Feb, 2023 @ 7:42pm 
Trolldier

Behaviour: Pretty dangerous
Lifeplace: Air
Appearance: Uses a market gardener and a rocket jumper.

Info: These crazy market gardener wielding soldiers fly around as graceful as birds before hitting someone in the face with a shovel. Its best if you stay under a roof if one is nearby or you might end up being prey for it.
Mohammed 2 Feb, 2023 @ 8:58am 
the bot