This is Jason's mom.

I have taken control of all his Facebook accounts and he will not be getting them back. In addition, I will also be deleting this account and reporting all of you to the Facebook authorities.

This is not the son I raised. I raised my son to be respectful and to be a good devout Christian - not a 'Garden Gnome.' Dungeon Synth has ruined him, and he now refers to himself as 'True Gnomewegian Gnomelord' and a 'Medieval Gnome Fornicator'. You nerds did this to him and I am putting an end to it. If he refuses to live a worthwhile life, then I will live his life for him.

Goodbye, and I hope your parents are as disappointed in you as I am disappointed in my son.

"You may be wondering, "How does the Soviet Union have the manpower, equipment, or infrastructure to garrison all the territory that would be horribly opposed to them?" The answer of course is magic." - Kidnap this man. Immediately. Please.