My grandfather once told me that a bloke he knew in London ran an antique shop just off Camden Passage and supposedly had an authentic copy of the Magna Carta. Not a reprint, not a replica but the real deal. Said it had been hidden away in some aristocrat’s cellar for centuries, wrapped in oilcloth and smelling faintly of dust and importance. The story was already outrageous, but then came the punchline: before the poor chap could get it authenticated, his spaniel got hold of it and chewed it to bits. Said it made for "very dignified confetti." I asked my grandfather if he really believed that story, and he just sipped his tea and said, “Well, stranger things have happened. Once lost a winning bet on a two-headed tortoise.” To this day, I’m not sure what was more absurd... the idea that someone had the Magna Carta in a shoebox, or that they left it anywhere near a dog named Winston.

Stop deleting my comments, I know it was you who said the n-word in vc and SOMEHOW convinced the mods that it was me who said it, ♥♥♥♥ you

BTW Babe., I’m breaking up with you. it’s not you, you were poggers. It’s me, I’m omegalul. I’m sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, I’ve just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it’s time to end it, no kappa. Youre funko pops will be outside my apartment

If my girl👧😍 and my beyblades💯🔥 are both drowning🌊😦 and I could only save one😄☝️you can catch me letting it rip😤 at my girl’s funeral😅👻💀 cause it’s bey blade or catch a fade🙏👊😠💯😭

<3

⠴⢮⠭⠍⠉⠉⠒⠤⣀
⢀⢊　　　　　　 ⢱⠊⠑⡀ Poop
⠋⡎  ⣀⡠⠤⠠⠖⠋⢉⠉  ⡄⢸ Your
⣘⡠⠊⣩⡅  ⣴⡟⣯⠙⣊  ⢁⠜ Pants
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　 ⠰⡉  ⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⢀⠜  ⢂
　 　 ⠈⠒⠒⡲⠂⣠⣔⠁    ⡇  ⢀⡴⣾⣛⡛⠻⣦
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   ⢀⠔⠂⢼    ⡎⡔⡄⠰⠃      ⢣  ⢻⣿⣿⣿⠘⣷
 ⡐⠁    ⠸⡀  ⠏  ⠈⠃        ⢸　 ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡇
 ⡇    ⡎⠉⠉⢳    ⡤⠤⡤⠲⡀  ⢇    ⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣷
 ⡇  ⡠⠃    ⡸    ⡇  ⡇  ⢱⡀  ⢣  ⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄
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