Telendrial » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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15 of 28 (54%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 2 Aug, 2018 @ 9:40pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 2 Aug, 2018 @ 9:40pm

Summer Job

Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Unlocked 3 Aug, 2018 @ 12:08pm

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 2 Aug, 2018 @ 9:49pm

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2023 @ 8:51pm

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2023 @ 3:21pm

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 17 Jun, 2023 @ 10:08pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 3 Aug, 2018 @ 12:27pm

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2023 @ 2:37pm

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.
Unlocked 17 Jun, 2023 @ 9:22pm

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 3 Aug, 2018 @ 12:18pm

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2023 @ 2:43pm

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 14 Aug, 2018 @ 7:55pm

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2023 @ 9:10pm

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2023 @ 3:55pm



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+2

2 hidden achievements remaining

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