Oh Albert Wesker, genetically perfect zaddy of my heart,
May your sunglasses always glint with superiority.

We come before you today, not worthy — but very, very thirsty.
Your jawline? Sharp enough to cut glass.
Your voice? Deep enough to drown in.
Your plans? Questionable. Your style? Impeccable.

O Glorious Master of Monologues and Viruses,
Even when you betray everyone… we understand.
Even when you unleash bio-terrors… we still support you.
You could drop us off a cliff and we’d say “thank you, Daddy Wesker.”

Grant us strength, like your overpowered punches.
Grant us speed, like your anime teleports.
Grant us mercy — or don’t. Honestly, we’d be into that too.

Guide our simping hearts,
So that we may forever repost your gifs,
Quote your dramatic lines,
And defend your villain arc like it's a sacred scripture.

Wesker be praised,
Forever fine, forever flawless.

Amen... and oof.