Recent reviews by WearyBeJimbo

The GOAT.

Fun for about 40 minutes with friends but becomes immensely boring after that. Servers are pretty much dead. Not enough gameplay variety, but that comes with every werewolf clone I've ever played. Still, it's a free 200MB game, so nothing is stopping you.

I don't think I can say anything positive about the game that others haven't. Music and visuals are good, story is pretty nice, protagonist and her pals are cool and good, spicy game overall

However, while I did have a good time with the majority of the game, the final area is probably one of my least favorite areas in any game ever.

Throughout the final chapter, you'll run into quite a bit of gimmicky mechanics, making the game feel incredibly luck-based. It's also very hard to figure out how to pass certain areas, there was a hidden breakable block in one of the areas I didn't notice before I watched a youtube tutorial.

Then I got to the unlock wall.

To progress to Chapter 8, and later on Chapter 9, you need to collect Crystal Hearts. Crystal Hearts are one of those "search the level until the end of time" unlockables that should only be important for 100%ing the game. To access Chapter 8, you need to find four of them. No sweat, just google a tutorial on how to find the first four and play the level.

Chapter 9 is different. You can play through about half of the level until the game asks you to collect 15 crystal hearts. For reference, Celeste has 8 other levels, meaning you need to get the crystal hearts in all of them, plus a few in the B-Sides (hard mode) levels.

In short, you're going to have to grind a LOT to reach the true ending, whatever you want to call it.

Starbound is a game that has a lot of potential, however fails to be a fun and enjoyable game.

The story is fine, I guess, and the ability to visit lots of seemingly infinite planets is cool. However, the story makes itself very clear that it is NOT optional, and blocks your progress from visiting those seemingly infinite planets (which are more the less the same.)

Combat is extremely shoddy, actually one of the worst combat systems I've ever used. Not to mention that awful hurt noise. Guns aren't worth your time, swords have a ridiculous cooldown, and the movement is extremely floaty and hard to use.

I've tried countless hours to get into this game, I tried to like this game, but every time I decide to fire it up I'm greeted with countless garbage that sucks the fun out of what could've been a great space exploration game.

Not to mention, apparently devs were unpaid and forced to work countless hours getting no pay whatsoever. Chucklefish says "they were under no obligation to do so" but it's still quite a scummy thing to do.
https://www.pcgamer.com/chucklefish-responds-to-allegations-it-exploited-volunteer-starbound-developers/

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Back then if I wanted to play a game of Portal 2, I had to go onto my dad's steam account, and have him login everytime. This, of course, irritated my father, so it wasn't long before I was bestowed upon the gift of a steam account. Granted, I could only play while he was offline, but it sure was better than having to bother him to just play Portal 2 for 15 minutes until I quit in confusion.

So one day I stumbled upon the store and found this and Aperture Tag. I had fond memories of the latter, but this game? Not so much. I completly forgot about it as time went by, as I was busy playing Scribbleanuts or something.

So fast forward to the future- the Spring Cleaning event has just arrived, and with it the option to see the first game you've owned on your steam account. So, me being eager to find out the first title I bought on my account, went to page and saw...

This game.

This damn game.


The premise is right after Chell escapes Aperture Science at the end of Portal 2 (They even reused the ending cutscene), you find yourself in a corn field. A bird flies by and hits the "sky", where it is revealed that it was just a trick and that this corn field was fake. The seizure-inducing lights were awful enough, but then it introduced the time machine mechanic.

If you've played "The Talos Principle", you should know how it works. Press a button to make a recording of yourself, and press another to stop it. Now press a different button to replay that recording, so you can stand ontop of your past-self's head to get to hight places. Get the idea? Now, copy-paste that into Portal 2.

I can't remember how Talos Principle introduced the mechanic, but I sure know it was way better than how TWTM introduced it. They tried to make a video reminiscent of the promotion trailers for Portal 2, then made a to-scale model of a Chromebook and pasted the video onto that. They then turned up the brightness of that video to impossible levels. Oh yeah, did I mention that everything in this game is bright?

You have two major mechanics- the portal gun and the time machine. No matter how hard you try, to make a fun game out of this is impossible. Either you can make the puzzles painfully easy and bore everyone, or make them painstakinly difficult and frustrate players. No matter how hard you try, you are not going to succeed. And thst is basically this game in a nutshell.

It's frustrating, confusing, and bright, and it's not fun to play. Granted, it's free, so you can go knock yourself out. But unless you have 200 IQ, you won't beat this game without a walkthrough.