✯VineoJobs✯'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2023 @ 3:20pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 5:07pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 Sep @ 6:11am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 1:04pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 8:33am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 2 Oct @ 8:32am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 4:54pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 9:16am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 11:40am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 8:16am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 9:16am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 10:01am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 12:46pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:39pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 3:19pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 1:45pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 9:32am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 9:36am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 12:32pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 10:02am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 5 Oct @ 2:15pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 Sep @ 6:11am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 5 Oct @ 12:32pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 11:33am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 5:03pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 4:50pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 10:08am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 9:48am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 1:05pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 1:22pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 2 Oct @ 8:35am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 5 Oct @ 1:41pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 5 Oct @ 1:41pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 6 Oct @ 8:01am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:30pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 Sep @ 6:11am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 2:40pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2023 @ 3:22pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 12:07pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 2 Oct @ 8:40am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 1:12pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 3:34pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 5 Oct @ 1:15pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 4:35pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 4:58pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:42pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2023 @ 5:36am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 4:38pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2023 @ 5:26am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 8:39am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 3:49pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:46pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2023 @ 4:18pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 12:17pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:17pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:19pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 4:04pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 11:11am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 9:26am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 1 Oct @ 4:33pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 2:22pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 12:47pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 28 Sep @ 2:51pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 29 Sep @ 3:15pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

22 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30