i really like weezer, but like what if weezer was more weezer, ya know? still i like weezer because of the tunes but unlike blur weezer make music. blur isnt a thing anymore but weezer still is. so i guess weezer is better than blur. they also sang about a garge and blur didint. but stil thats uk music and we all know British people dont exist cuz they were made by the finnish people to prank the us of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a. norway black metal is very confusing, i went to paint aluminum black and i didnt get the taste, burzum is good but burzum became viking and vikings are scary, know what else is scary? yeah ariana grande is scary. why is aranga grande scary? no clue, but she is. know what else is scary? your mom.
quite the roast that was innit, so ur sitting on ur fat ass, its 3 am and ur chatting with your favourite electronic woman, she recently made 800$ off of her onlyfans, and you're happy for that, because you have the 50$ subscription without her knowing. ok i went off track mate thats a story for another time lets go back to something we all know and love and thats video games i really like video games video games are fun, but listen ere, you cant just play counter strike source while blasting muse its not 2008 wake up jeremy you fully know that you have several mental illnesses, yet you ignore them, worsening your mental health and thus not being in a vibey mood all the time, max says that you look pale, have you been outside these past few months? listen dude, im just being concerned for you, its not like we talk that much, ever since you started using that discord thingy, things have been complicated for all of us. please get some help, and get off that discord thing bro. anyway so i got fired off mcdonalds for stealing the cooking oil it feels off my pocket and i got caught red-handed by my manager austin, he was very mad but we're still friends, albeit he loves stealing my cocunt oil when im away from my residence. but its all banter, i still like him as a friend and we still hang out to this day. come to think of it, i myself havent been outside in a while, how's the world? are there any major events that i've missed? i havent left my residence since 2012, because the world ended then, i live in a simulation and nobody exists. anyway, weezer is pretty interesing and i recommend you listen to them!
PART 2 : QUESTIONS
oi jake you lazy slag, come thru and help me with the groceries! i had to go to asda mate. but listen dude, when i went in there, there was like a plethora of naked dudes trying to ♥♥♥♥ the cash register. dude im like what in the hell i cant find a proper job in today's economy and i see naked guys sticking their wees in the cash register?! is that even safe?! still... im not into people's fetishes, maybe penis compression is their kink. i love compressing files, it saves space, but weenies? HELL NAH! and listen jake, as i get groceries, the naked guys approach me and then the lights go out. they go like "now its time to get funky, my friend". and dude, i actually started running for my life. good thing the margarine fell and opened. ill never forget how these dudes slipped on that margarine and fell on the floor. like a sack of potatoes. so, we have no margarine, so no more 2 kilogram margarine sandwiches. also forgot to tell you, remember jeremy? the dude that stole the cooking oil from mcdonalds. he got ran over by a truck, but is somehow alive. and guess what, weezer made a new album, crazy stuff mate
oh wait im getting a call, its from our lanlord, chris. it seems like i'm being indicted for several counts of fraud, so i guess im going to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ jail jake. do you know what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ means, i go to jail dude if only i didnt scam those pregnant women, but ♥♥♥♥ dude it happened in 1981. its 2009 rn, how could they ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ remember that i charged them money to birth their kids, oh nononono. its bad enough that i own my wife 5214 dollars, but now i need to pay them back, and they were like 30 pregnant women, i charged them 900 dollars so im gonna be in massive debt too. ok jake listen if i can just avoid this if i can avoid the fines and the massive tax that's gonna come with it i may be able to get off scott free, can you call my lawyer ivan? he handled my divorce with my wife, so he should be able to help with the entire evasion process, don't ya think?