Recent reviews by texy

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If you've ever wanted to spend hours upon hours hunting giant, ferocious beasts, then Monster Hunter Rise is the game for you. It's like a combination of Jurassic Park, Skyrim, and a really intense cardio workout.

The game's graphics are stunning, with vibrant, lush environments that make you feel like you're actually out in the wilderness. And the monsters themselves are nothing short of terrifying. You'll encounter everything from giant birds with razor-sharp talons to fire-breathing dragons that could make Smaug himself look like a cuddly puppy.

But fear not, intrepid hunters, for you have a whole arsenal of weapons and gadgets at your disposal. You can choose from a variety of weapons, ranging from a trusty sword and shield to a massive greatsword that looks like it was ripped straight out of Final Fantasy. And if that's not enough, you can even call upon your trusty Palico companion, who will fight by your side and occasionally give you helpful advice in a language only you can understand.

One of the best things about Monster Hunter Rise is the sense of camaraderie that comes with playing with friends. There's nothing quite like taking down a massive monster with a group of your closest buddies, all while shouting things like "GET IN THERE AND GIVE IT TO 'EM!" or "DODGE! DODGE! DODGE!" over your headset.

Overall, Monster Hunter Rise is a game that will test your skills, your patience, and your willingness to spend hours of your life fighting virtual creatures. But if you're up for the challenge, it's one of the most rewarding gaming experiences out there. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, and clutching your controller in a death grip.

Elden Ring: the game that was so highly anticipated, it was like waiting for the second coming of Gwyn himself. And boy, does it deliver. From Software has done it again, folks. They've managed to create a game that's simultaneously beautiful, frustrating, and soul-crushing.

The game world is vast and sprawling, with breathtaking landscapes and intricately designed dungeons. The only problem is that every enemy in the game seems to have been designed with the express purpose of making you tear your hair out. It's like the developers thought to themselves, "how can we make this game even more difficult than Dark Souls?" And then they did it.

But don't worry, there are moments of levity as well. Like when you finally defeat a boss after countless attempts, only to realize that the reward for your efforts is a single rusty sword. Or when you accidentally fall off a cliff for the hundredth time, and the game helpfully reminds you that "you died".

All in all, Elden Ring is a must-play for any masochistic gamer out there. It's a game that will test your patience, your skill, and your sanity. But if you can make it through to the end, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment that's hard to beat. Plus, you'll have a newfound appreciation for every other game you've ever played that didn't make you want to throw your controller through the wall. So what are you waiting for? Dive into Elden Ring, and may the flames guide thee!

Lost Ark is like a game that's trying to be everything at once. It's an MMORPG, a dungeon crawler, a hack-and-slash, and a Diablo clone. But despite its identity crisis, it manages to be a really fun game... most of the time.

The story mode is... well, let's just say it's not the reason people play this game. It's like every other generic fantasy story out there, with a predictable plot and forgettable characters. But let's be real, no one plays MMORPGs for the story.

The real fun is in the gameplay. The combat in Lost Ark is fast-paced and satisfying, with flashy special moves and combos that will make you feel like a total badass. And let's not forget the loot. The game is like a never-ending treasure hunt, where you're always searching for the next great weapon or piece of armor.

The dungeons in Lost Ark are amazing. They're like a cross between Diablo and Dark Souls, with challenging enemies and brutal bosses. But let's be real, the real challenge is trying to find a group that isn't full of toxic players who rage quit after one wipe.

The graphics in Lost Ark are stunning, but let's be real, no one plays this game for the graphics. We play it for the ridiculousness. Like the fact that you can ride a giant chicken as a mount, or the fact that you can dress up as a frog and dance in the middle of a dungeon. It's like a never-ending circus of chaos.

And finally, the community. It's like a bunch of hardcore gamers who take themselves way too seriously. The chat is filled with people screaming at each other and arguing about the best build, but it's all part of the fun. And let's not forget the PvP. Nothing brings people together like a good old-fashioned duel to the death.

In conclusion, Lost Ark is like a box of chocolates that's been mixed up with a bunch of other candy. It's confusing, it's overwhelming, but it's also really fun. So go ahead, ride that giant chicken, slay that dragon, and have the time of your virtual life.

Destiny 2 is like a game that just can't decide what it wants to be. Is it a first-person shooter? Is it a MMO? Is it a space opera? Who knows! But one thing's for sure, it's a game that will suck you in and never let go.

The story mode is... well, let's just say it's not the reason people play this game. You play as a Guardian, a defender of humanity, and you go around the galaxy shooting aliens and saving the day. It's like every other sci-fi shooter out there, but with more colorful aliens and less memorable characters.

The real fun is in the online multiplayer mode, where you can team up with friends and take on epic raids and missions. But let's be real, the raids are like trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded while someone is hitting you with a hammer. They're incredibly difficult, but when you finally beat them, it feels like you've accomplished something.

The weapons in Destiny 2 are amazing. You have everything from a basic pistol to a freaking laser sword. And let's not forget the exotic weapons, which are like the holy grail of weapons. They're incredibly rare, but when you finally get one, you feel like a god among mortals.

The graphics in Destiny 2 are stunning, but let's be real, no one plays this game for the graphics. We play it for the loot. The game is like a never-ending treasure hunt, where you're always searching for the next great weapon or piece of armor. It's like an addiction, but a really fun one.

And finally, the community. It's like a bunch of space nerds arguing about which Star Wars movie is the best. The chat is filled with people screaming into their mics and talking trash, but it's all part of the fun. And let's not forget the dance parties. Nothing brings people together like a good old-fashioned dance party in the middle of a mission.

In conclusion, Destiny 2 is like a rollercoaster ride. It's thrilling, it's addicting, and it will make you scream. So buckle up, grab your laser sword, and get ready for the ride of your virtual life.

GTA V is like a virtual playground where you can do anything you want... except be a law-abiding citizen. You can steal cars, rob stores, and even commit murder. It's like a dream come true for anyone who's ever wanted to be a criminal mastermind.

The game takes place in the fictional city of Los Santos, which is basically a satirical version of Los Angeles. And let's be real, the game does a better job of capturing the essence of LA than any documentary ever could. From the traffic to the smog, it's like you're actually there... if there were no consequences for your actions.

The story mode is great, but let's be honest, the real fun is in the online multiplayer mode. You can team up with friends and wreak havoc on the city, or you can join a random lobby and end up getting killed by a 12-year-old with a rocket launcher. The possibilities are endless.

The vehicles in GTA V are amazing. You can drive everything from a sports car to a tank, and let's not forget the iconic jetpack. And if you're feeling lazy, you can even call a helicopter to pick you up and take you wherever you want to go. It's like having your own personal Uber, except the driver is usually drunk and the car is on fire.

The graphics in GTA V are stunning, but let's be real, no one plays this game for the graphics. We play it for the ridiculousness. Like the fact that you can dress up as a clown and rob a bank, or the fact that you can parachute out of a plane and land on a moving train. It's like a never-ending circus of chaos.

And finally, the community. It's like a frat party that never ends. The chat is filled with people screaming into their mics and talking trash, but it's all part of the fun. And let's not forget the mods. You can mod the game to do pretty much anything you want, from turning everyone into zombies to adding a giant gorilla as a playable character.

In conclusion, GTA V is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get, but it's always going to be deliciously ridiculous. So go ahead, steal that car, rob that bank, and have the time of your virtual life.

PUBG is like the Hunger Games, but instead of teenagers fighting to the death, it's a bunch of gamers fighting for chicken dinner. And let's be honest, the chicken dinner is the only reason we're all here.

The game starts with you parachuting onto an island with 99 other players, and the objective is simple: be the last one standing. But of course, it's never that easy. You have to scavenge for weapons and gear while avoiding getting shot by other players. And if you're lucky enough to survive long enough, you'll eventually find yourself in a tiny circle with the remaining players, and it's like a dance-off where the winner gets to live.

The weapons in PUBG range from pistols to assault rifles, but let's be real, the only weapon that matters is the frying pan. Not only can you use it as a melee weapon, but it can also deflect bullets, making it the ultimate weapon for survival. Plus, it's hilarious to see someone get killed by a frying pan.

The game also has vehicles, which are both a blessing and a curse. Sure, you can drive around and run over other players, but you can also end up getting stuck in a ditch or driving into a tree like a drunk teenager.

The graphics in PUBG are... not great. It's like playing a game from the early 2000s, but with more grass. But let's be honest, we're not here for the graphics. We're here for the adrenaline rush and the sweet, sweet taste of victory.

And finally, the community. It's like a never-ending battle royale of insults and rage. The chat is filled with people screaming into their mics and calling each other names, but it's all part of the fun.

In conclusion, PUBG is like a game of Russian roulette. You never know if you're going to survive or end up being the first one to die, but at least you get to try again... and again... and again. And who knows, maybe one day you'll get that chicken dinner and feel like a true champion.

Oh boy, Garry's Mod, where do I even begin? It's like a virtual playground where you can do almost anything you want... as long as you have the patience to figure out how to do it.

First things first, the graphics are not exactly top-notch. It looks like something straight out of the early 2000s, which makes it even more charming in a weird way. It's like playing with virtual Lego blocks, but with more explosions.

The best thing about Garry's Mod is the community-created content. Want to play as a giant banana shooting rockets at other players? Sure, there's a mod for that. Want to turn the game into a zombie survival game? Yep, there's a mod for that too. The possibilities are endless, which makes it both amazing and overwhelming at the same time.

But with great power comes great responsibility, and in this case, it's the responsibility of not crashing your computer. Some of the mods can be so complex that it feels like you need a Ph.D. in computer science to figure out how to install them. And even when you do manage to install them, they can cause your game to crash faster than a Jenga tower.

The gameplay itself is a mixed bag. It's fun to mess around with the physics engine and create ridiculous contraptions, but when it comes to actual gameplay, it can be frustrating. The controls can be clunky, and the multiplayer experience can be hit or miss, depending on who you're playing with.

Overall, Garry's Mod is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get, but sometimes you'll find a delicious surprise. And sometimes you'll accidentally eat a piece of chocolate with a weird filling that makes you regret your life choices. But hey, at least you had fun messing around with virtual objects for a little while.

First things first, the game is set in the Harry Potter universe, so you know it's gonna be magical... or at least that's what I thought until I started playing.

Let's start with the character creation process. You get to choose your house, wand, and appearance. Unfortunately, my wand was shorter than Ron's, which made me feel inadequate. And when I picked my house, I accidentally clicked on Hufflepuff, and now I can't get rid of the badger mascot following me around.

Now, onto the gameplay. I was excited to cast spells and explore Hogwarts, but instead, I spent most of my time getting lost in the maze-like corridors. And don't even get me started on the moving staircases. Those things are more confusing than trying to understand the plot of the Cursed Child.

The dueling mechanics are a mess. I tried casting a spell on my opponent, but it ended up hitting a random NPC who then attacked me. It was like a scene straight out of a Three Stooges movie.

And finally, the plot. Without spoiling too much, it involves a dark wizard trying to take over Hogwarts. How original. I guess J.K. Rowling ran out of ideas after the seventh book.

Overall, Hogwarts Legacy is like a disappointing cauldron cake. It looks promising on the outside, but once you bite into it, you realize it's just a mushy mess. Maybe they should have just made a game about Hagrid's love life instead.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is one of the greatest games of all time, and a masterpiece of storytelling, immersion, and gameplay. It's like stepping into a fully-realized Old West world that's as rich and detailed as anything you've ever seen in a movie or read in a book.

The graphics are stunning, with jaw-droppingly beautiful landscapes that will take your breath away. The attention to detail is unparalleled, with every tree, rock, and building carefully crafted to create an immersive, believable world. And the characters are some of the most memorable and well-written in gaming history, with complex personalities, motivations, and relationships that will stay with you long after the game is over.

But the real star of Red Dead Redemption 2 is the gameplay. The gunfights are thrilling and intense, with a sense of weight and impact that makes every bullet feel like it counts. The horseback riding is smooth and realistic, with a sense of momentum and control that makes you feel like you're really riding through the wilderness. And the hunting and fishing mechanics are surprisingly deep and satisfying, with a sense of realism and challenge that makes each kill feel earned.

And then there's the story. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game that will make you laugh, cry, and everything in between. It's a sprawling epic that spans years and miles, with a cast of characters that will make you feel like you're a part of their world. And the emotional payoff at the end is so powerful that you'll be thinking about it for days afterwards.

Overall, Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game that deserves all of the praise and accolades it's received. It's a true masterpiece of gaming, and an experience that every gamer should have. If you haven't played it yet, do yourself a favor and pick it up as soon as possible. You won't regret it.