Recent reviews by SǷÖÖŊ ×͜×

Made me cry. 10/10

"GTA V: The Loveable Old Grandpa Still Kickin' While We Wait for GTA 6"

Oh boy, where do I even start with this gem? GTA V is like that beloved old uncle who's been crashing on your couch for way too long—still stealing the spotlight, hogging the TV remote, and making you laugh despite overstaying its welcome.

Let's talk about the game. It's like the eternal loop of chaos and shenanigans. You've got Michael, Trevor, and Franklin—these dudes are like the dysfunctional family members you secretly wish were part of your squad in real life. Michael, the retired bank robber turned family man; Trevor, the dude you wouldn't want to be left alone with your snacks; and Franklin, the guy you'd trust to parallel park your car blindfolded.

The world of Los Santos is still more alive than my houseplants, and trust me, that says a lot. You can be a responsible citizen, driving obeying traffic lights... or you can hijack a blimp, fly over the city, and make a heartfelt speech to the seagulls. Your call.

But let's address the elephant in the room, or should I say the lack thereof? Hey, Rockstar, where's GTA 6? Did you misplace it under a pile of cash or something? We're here, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the next big thing while you're probably brainstorming ways to make us rob casinos on Mars.

But back to GTA V—despite its age, it's holding up better than my attempts at adulting. The graphics might not be cutting edge anymore, but the storytelling? Still top-notch. The multiplayer? A haven for both chaos and camaraderie. And let's not forget the mods, because turning every car into a screaming flamingo or replacing the cops with angry chickens? Pure gold.

So, here we are, giving this game yet another thumbs-up while simultaneously side-eyeing Rockstar for keeping us in suspense about GTA 6. Come on, guys, spill the beans already! Until then, I'll be in Los Santos, probably doing yoga on top of a moving train or trying to make friends with a gang of wandering llamas.

After investing more hours than I'd like to admit into Cities Skylines 2, I've achieved the impossible: created a metropolis where traffic flows as smoothly as peanut butter in a desert. Just kidding! My city is a hot mess, but hey, chaos has its charm, right?

In this game, you're not just a mayor; you're a traffic conductor, a sewage management expert, and an urban planner whose decisions are as chaotic as a squirrel on a caffeine rush. I thought I was smart until my citizens began complaining about trash piling up while I was busy creating a maze of highways that lead to nowhere. Sorry, guys, your garbage will have to wait; I'm redesigning the downtown loop for the tenth time!

The graphics are so immersive that you'll swear you're actually trapped in your own city, desperately trying to figure out why everyone is using the same lane when there are four lanes empty. And don't even get me started on disasters! The tornadoes, earthquakes, and alien invasions are just nature's way of saying, "Surprise! Fix this mess or suffer the consequences!"

But let's talk about the citizens. These little virtual people have a mind of their own. They'll complain about everything from not having enough parks to having too many parks. I mean, make up your minds, folks! And the way they cheer when you finally fix their traffic woes—pure satisfaction! Until five minutes later when they start griping about something else.

The modding community deserves an award for turning the game into a chaotic circus. From adding Godzilla to replacing every car with a Mario Kart, there's no limit to the insanity you can inject into your already chaotic city.

Ever dreamed of transforming your boring desktop into a psychedelic rollercoaster of chaos and wonder? Look no further than Wallpaper Engine! This game is like a magical potion for your screen—it doesn't just decorate, it infests your monitor with a kaleidoscope of absolute madness.

Once I hit play on this thing, I felt like my computer screen had decided to attend Burning Man on its own. Suddenly, my cat was chasing unicorns across a cosmic landscape, all while a T-Rex rode a skateboard in the background. Don't even get me started on the time I turned my desktop into a tropical beach and actually tried to sip a digital margarita. Spoiler alert: it wasn't refreshing.

The best part? The workshop! It's like stumbling into a bazaar in a parallel universe where people barter with pixels. You want a wallpaper of Nicolas Cage riding a llama through space? They've got it. How about a dancing pickle serenading a slice of pizza? Yep, it's there too. The creativity is so wild; I'm convinced there's a secret society of wallpaper wizards conjuring these things up.

But beware, once you start down this rabbit hole, there's no turning back. You'll spend hours customizing your desktop, only to realize you've forgotten to eat, sleep, or even blink for the past three days. Seriously, my eyeballs now have screensaver burn-ins.

"Ready or Not? More like 'Ready or Potato'! This game's like the ultimate test to see if you've got the skills to outsmart AI that's either hyper-intelligent or stuck in a doorframe.

You'll feel like a tactical genius one minute, sneaking around corners, coordinating with your squad like a pro... until you accidentally flashbang yourself, shoot a civilian, and then get stuck in a loop of trying to throw a grenade through a window but just hitting yourself in the face with it instead. Pure chaos!

It's like the developers secretly studied Murphy's Law and made it the core gameplay mechanic. Expect the unexpected: suspects with impeccable aim, hostages who moonwalk into gunfire, and doors that have a vendetta against your existence.

The graphics? Well, let's just say they're on a mission to make potato salad look HD. But hey, who needs stunning visuals when you're too busy laughing your socks off at the ragdoll physics that turn serious moments into slapstick comedy?

If you're into a game that's a wild roller coaster ride of tactical brilliance and moments that make you question your life choices, Ready or Not is your ticket to chaos-town. Just remember, it's not about winning or losing; it's about how many times you can shout 'Oh no, not again!' before your neighbors start questioning your sanity. Ready? Probably not!"

Are you tired of reality being all "gravity this" and "physics that"? Well, strap in, folks, because Riders Republic is where gravity decides to take a vacation and chaos grabs the steering wheel!

Picture this: You're zooming down a mountain on a bike, and suddenly you're like, "Nah, forget the bike, let's snowboard!" Then, out of nowhere, someone zooms past you on a rocket-powered wingsuit yelling, "Catch me if you can!" I mean, who needs to make sense when you can do snowboard tricks off a cliff one second and then BASE jump into a massive canyon the next?

This game is like a wild rollercoaster ride where the coaster is made of extreme sports and the safety instructions are just a wink and a nod. Want to race against 50 other players? Sure thing! Want to pull off a backflip while riding a bicycle off a ramp? Absolutely! Want to howl like a banshee as you soar through the air in a squirrel suit? You got it, buddy!

And the best part? You can customize your character to be as serious or as absurd as you want. Want to ride down a mountain dressed as a unicorn with a snorkel? Why not? Want to race against a person who looks like they stepped out of a sci-fi movie while you're dressed as a giant hotdog? Go for it!

Sure, there are moments when you'll crash and burn spectacularly, but honestly, it's worth it just to see your character ragdoll across the landscape like a clumsy acrobat. The crashes are just another way the game says, "Hey, let's laugh at ourselves and try that again!"

Riders Republic is a glorious, chaotic carnival of extreme sports where the only rule is: there are no rules! So, grab your gear, prepare for the unexpected, and get ready to redefine the laws of physics in the most hysterical way possible.

"Plateup!" is an innovative cooking game that challenges players to create the perfect dish by combining different ingredients and cooking techniques. The game is designed to be both fun and educational, with a focus on teaching players about different culinary traditions and techniques.

The graphics in "Plateup!" are bright and colorful, with a cartoonish style that's both appealing and whimsical. The different ingredients and cooking tools are all well-designed, making it easy to distinguish between them and understand their function.

The gameplay in "Plateup!" is both challenging and engaging. Players start by selecting a recipe and then choosing the ingredients and cooking methods they want to use to create the dish. As they progress through the game, they unlock new recipes and ingredients, as well as new cooking techniques and tools.

One of the things I really appreciate about "Plateup!" is how it teaches players about different culinary traditions and techniques. Each recipe is based on a real-world dish, and players can learn about the ingredients, cooking methods, and cultural significance of each dish as they play.

Another great feature of "Plateup!" is its social aspect. Players can share their creations with friends and compete to see who can create the best dish. This adds an extra layer of competition and fun to the game, making it even more engaging and addictive.

Overall, "Plateup!" is a fantastic cooking game that's both fun and educational. Its colorful graphics, engaging gameplay, and focus on culinary traditions and techniques make it a must-play for anyone who loves food and cooking. Whether you're a seasoned chef or just starting out in the kitchen, "Plateup!" is sure to provide hours of entertainment and education.

"The Perfect Tower 2" is a highly addictive and entertaining game that will keep you engaged for hours on end. It's a tower defense game that challenges you to build the perfect tower to defend against waves of enemy attacks. The game has a simple premise, but it's executed with a great deal of skill and attention to detail.

The graphics in "The Perfect Tower 2" are simple yet effective. The game's 8-bit art style is charming and nostalgic, and the different types of enemies and towers are all easily distinguishable. The sound effects and music are also well done, creating an immersive experience that draws you in.

The gameplay in "The Perfect Tower 2" is both simple and complex. You start with a small tower and a few basic defenses, but as you progress through the game, you'll unlock new towers, upgrades, and abilities that allow you to build bigger and better defenses. There are also a variety of enemy types to contend with, each with their own strengths and weaknesses.

One of the things I really appreciated about "The Perfect Tower 2" is how it balances accessibility with depth. The game is easy to pick up and play, but there's also a lot of strategic depth to explore. You'll need to carefully balance your resources, manage your towers, and time your upgrades if you want to succeed.

Overall, "The Perfect Tower 2" is a fantastic game that's well worth your time. It's a fun and engaging tower defense game that's easy to pick up and play, but also offers plenty of strategic depth. Whether you're a fan of the genre or just looking for a fun way to kill some time, "The Perfect Tower 2" is definitely worth checking out.

Have you ever wanted to experience the apocalypse while simultaneously laughing at your own demise? Look no further than "7 Days to Die"! This game should come with a warning: "May cause excessive laughter in the face of impending doom."

Picture this: you're scavenging for supplies, feeling like the ultimate survivor, and then BAM! A zombie penguin sneaks up on you. Yes, you read that right. A zombie penguin. I nearly dropped my duct tape.

Let's talk about crafting. Oh boy, I've created a club that looked like it was designed by a toddler with LEGO bricks. It's like arts and crafts time in the apocalypse! Don't even get me started on my attempts at fortifying my base; it's more hole than wall at this point. Apparently, zombies are a fan of architectural deconstruction.

The physics in this game? Hilariously unpredictable. I've witnessed zombies doing the electric slide mid-air and chairs spontaneously deciding to launch into orbit. Who needs SpaceX when you've got "7 Days to Die"?

But wait, there's more! The AI is both your best friend and worst enemy. Zombies have a knack for pathfinding that rivals a lost GPS, and sometimes they just stand there staring at you like you're the latest Netflix series. I've had moments where I genuinely thought they were auditioning for a zombie rendition of "America's Got Talent."

Oh, and let's not forget the horde nights! You spend six days trying to survive, only for the seventh day to roll around with the subtlety of a freight train. It's like hosting a dinner party for zombies, except they bring hunger for your flesh instead of a bottle of wine.

If Batman drove a sports car and played soccer, this would be it. Imagine a soccer field where the players are turbocharged cars and the ball is a magnet for chaos. Rocket League isn't just a game; it's a therapy session on wheels.

First off, if you've ever dreamt of being a pro soccer player but ended up being more like a clumsy penguin on the field, fear not! Rocket League welcomes all skill levels, from the majestic aces flying through the air to the folks (like me) who accidentally score on their own goal while doing a 360 no-scope.

The controls? It's like trying to pat your head while rubbing your belly and driving a car... upside down... in zero gravity. But fear not, because failing miserably is half the fun! Mastering this game is like mastering life—completely impossible and absurdly entertaining.

The best part? The chat. Oh, the chat. It's a circus of compliments, roasts, and more salt than the Dead Sea. You'll find supportive teammates yelling "Nice shot!" after you accidentally hit the ball in the right direction, and opponents graciously reminding you that you drive worse than a blindfolded grandma.

Let's talk strategy. Some call it teamwork; I call it organized chaos. Who needs a game plan when you can just boost around like a caffeinated cheetah and hope for the best? Spoiler alert: It works surprisingly often!

The customization options are wilder than a unicorn in a tuxedo. Want a car with a rubber ducky antenna and a flaming pirate hat? Done. Want to fly your car through the air like a majestic eagle? Equip those rocket boosters and spread your vehicular wings, my friend.

In conclusion, Rocket League is the circus you never knew you needed. It's chaotic, ridiculous, and addictively fun. So grab your controller, buckle up, and get ready to unleash your inner car-soccer superstar!