there's this mini-boss fight in chapter 5-2 i would like to discuss because it changed my life. so, my friend and i arrived with stars in our eyes. sure, things had been difficult thus far, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. yes, we're playing on easy mode, and no, we're not ashamed. the beginning of the fight started normally. we came prepared: ammo, heals--anything we knew we'd need. but this fight was taking much longer than either of us could've anticipated; my friend has played the game before, but it was on console many years ago. we didn't let this deter us; we trekked onward, easily burning through our supplies. the game felt bad for a few minutes and gave us some rifle ammo--neither of us had a rifle--but it quickly stopped spawning anything else. we were still hopeful at this point. oh, how naive the two of us were.

by the time we'd reached the fifteen minute mark or so, we'd used all our heals and ammo; we had to tread very carefully. things could get dark really fast... we had to wait for a flamethrower to charge up, which was our only weapon. we must've used that thing at least 20 times. we knew it was meant to be difficult, but for god's sake we were on easy mode. both of us figured something was wrong. so, my friend took a moment to hide in the corner to google what was up. apparently, the fight was bugged on steam and doesn't show the boss's weak spots. the solution? a rocket launcher. but we didn't have a rocket launcher, and we'd spent too long on it this time to give up now. the only thing stopping us at this point was DEATH. so what was our other option? hit it a billion times with the flamethrower. and so we did.

there were no signs of change. the reaction was the same each time we attacked the mighty beast with our hellfire. with every attempt we thought, "surely, this has to be the last time," but it never was. by the halfway point, the only thing keeping me sane was shooting at the thing with imaginary bullets. the noise of the empty gun made me feel something that i had long lost by this point. the sound became comforting to me during that dark time, and i will forever be grateful.

it seemed like nothing was working... were we going to have to restart the level to fix the bugs? no. we had to keep going. we had no other choice.

and then, when all hope seemed to be lost, a light began to beckon me. just kidding, but it was over. oh my god... it was finally over. i started crying. HAPPY TEARS. i was sweating; my whole body ached from this onerous hellscape of a battle. we'd spent an hour on the chapter, and i'd never been so happy to see that ending screen. my friend then proceeded to send me a video from fifteen years ago of someone completing the fight in 2 1/2 minutes, and you know what, it ached a little bit. but then, i remembered something. this person probably didn't think twice about beating this level, but for me, it was a triumph. never in my life have i felt this overcome with emotion after doing anything in a video game. and i likely will never feel that again. an hour of my life spent doing this inconsequential fight that will never matter... but i learned what it means to persevere, to never give up, even when things don't get better.

i know if we'd brought that rocket launcher, this lesson would've never been learned. we needed to wait for that godforsaken flamethrower to charge twenty something times. we learned what sacrifice meant when the person with more health chose to carry the flamethrower's burden. we were beaten down countless times to our breaking point. and guess what? it all paid off.

if you decide to buy this game, i beg of you: just please remember this one thing.

bring the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rocket launcher.