Recent reviews by Unredeemable Jank

A love letter to the days of Contra, Iron Meat is a run-and-gun arcade shooter that makes evokes feelings of nostalgia and adrenaline pumping acting. There is a story here, but it really is not necessary. You are a soldier tasked with eliminating The Meat, an all consuming mutating fleshy entity to a truly fantastic soundtrack. In addition to a great soundtrack, the sound design is top notch- the sound effects for each gun and the visceral explosion of enemies are phenomenal.

It should be stated that the game is not overly long. The game contains 9 levels, each end-capped with a boss which are well designed (the final level's boss perhaps being one of my favorites of the year). I am not a veteran of this genre (sans Cuphead from years ago), but it look me between 1-2 hours to complete the campaign on Normal difficulty. This may seem disappointing to players given the $20 price tag, but to me, I felt like the length was reflective of its arcade roots and really enjoyed the well crafted experience. This is a lean mean campaign that I could see myself playing over and over again, but I can understand why it could be a deterrent to others. There are multiple achievements for meeting certain conditions against bosses or over the course of a level as well as a ton of additional skins to unlock, for those looking for reasons to replay. For me, the design of Iron Meat is so fantastic, I could see myself booting it up for a quick play through on a random Sunday afternoon.

In spite of its short length, I had a fantastic time with Iron Meat and would recommend it to anyone looking for a well designed compact campaign.

While I truly appreciated Kyle Thompson's previous game, Islets, I found myself concerned that I would have uncreasonable expectations about his next game. Could it be a decent follow up to a fantastic game? The answer is: absolutely. Crypt Custodian is a cozy metroidvania that may be my favorite gaming experience this year.

The gameplay is straightforward top down hack and slash combat with your player character gaining new traversal abilities that swiftly open up the world. You can also equip passive abilities through ability points (that are quite liberally given) to increase your attack power or movement speed as well as special attacks (such as limited invulnerability or homing missiles) that you can unleash upon building up a special meter. If none of this sounds particularly groundbreaking, it really isn't but while there may not be a ton of complexity in the gameplay of CC but what is there is so graceful and polished to a shine that it truly stands out among other games in its genre.

You play as Pluto, a recently deceased cat, who finds himself in the animal afterlife. In a bit of a misunderstanding, Pluto is sentenced to be a BAD CAT and condemned to spend the afterlife cleaning up garbage in the bad part of the afterlife. Armed with a broom, Pluto soon encounters other denizens of the afterlife. Through them, you find that in a castle in the good part of the afterlife, there is a mirror that allows any animal that enters it to return to the world of the living to see their loved ones one last time. Thus, a plan hatches with you and your friends to break into the castle and have one last look at what you left behind.

The plot may sound overly dramatic or moody, but it really is not. For all the characters being ostensibly dead, the tone of the game is mostly lighthearted and cozy. There are few games where I find myself loving all the NPCs, but I truly wish I could hug all of the NPCs in CC. While all of your afterlife companions are fantastic, I do find myself truly adoring the tough Grizz, the mellow Crouton and the gloomy Wailer. While these characters are fleshed out through Pluto speaking with them, I cannot deny that the most powerful moments of the game came by collecting Polaroids of your afterlife friends which depict how they came to be in the afterlife and who or what they left behind. Many feelings were had.

Story and worldbuilding aside, CC is a fantastic game. While the metroidvania genre is often full of difficulty, soulslike mechanics and punishment on death, CC really has none of those things. The action is straightforward. The bosses may not be pushovers but I can't say any of them took more than a handful of attempts to defeat. All of these and the chill ambient music lead to a very graceful, cozy experience. Some may be deterred by the game's relative lower difficulty level, but to me I felt like the easier difficulty fit the overall tone and vibe of the game and did not detract from my experience. It took me roughly 9 hours to make it through the main part of the game with about 86% completion and a few more hours after that to mop up the last few items I found. If you enjoyed the game half as much as I did, there is a randomizer mode that you can enable on a new file after beating the game and a boss rush mode. I rarely replay games these days, but CC will have me bucking that trend in the very near future.

In short, Crypt Custodian is very much for your time if you are looking for a graceful, heartfelt, chill experience. In a year of many stellar metroidvanias (Animal Well, Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown), Crypt Custodian's genuine emotion and grace make it stand out ahead of the pack. If you play exactly one metroidvania this year, I would recommend curling up with Crypt Custodian

A Park Full of Cats is the latest hidden object game from Devcats and I am happy to say that APFC keeps on elevating the already high standard that Devcats puts forth. The main hidden object scenario in the base game is a massive amusement park with a ton of cats and several other objects that makes thematic sense such as finding loose fireworks (as to not startle cats) and missing Polaroid shots of cats (all of which were submitted by players for this game, my cats among them). I really do appreciate that each new "Full of Cats" game tries something new, like the non-linear path in Castle, the arcade games in Arcade, the tower in Tower and now the massive scenario in Park. As fun as the base game is, I found myself particularly enjoying the DLC which adds spooky rides and more than doubles the base game. If you are a fan of the series, this is a must buy. If you are on the fence, I would recommend trying out the free base game to see if this is your type of game. As for me, this game is an Admit One ticket to a lovely wholesome game. Keep up the incredible work, Devcats!

Having only played a half hour of Aestik so far, I wanted to leave a review to help for visibility and later update it. The hand-drawn artstyle is beautiful (Gourd Glades gets a special shoutout) and the movement of the protagonist (who is an adorable mixture of an owl and cat) feels very much at home to me and likely will to any veterans of Hollow Knight. Another twist on the metroidvania formula is the morality system which can sneak up on you. I basically autopiloted through my first half hour and found myself meeting a friendly hermit only to drop a boulder on him five minutes later. Whoops. Regardless, my first half hour has been a complete joy and I cannot wait to experience the rest of this game.

Edit (9/13/24)- 11 or so hours of gameplay later and I still very much recommend this game. The bosses were fun but I have the most fun with this game's platforming. There were several optional platforming gauntlets that are worth the price of admission alone, including one particularly challenging one near the end of the game. On a personal note, I did not particularly enjoy the overly grim tone of this game. I feel like the adorable protagonist deserves a kinder world. But it is what it is. Aestik was time and money well spent. Would encourage folks to check it out.

Flock is a cozy game centered around traversing beautiful and surreal landscapes and attracting various flying creatures to join your...well, flock.

You play as an unnamed character who is a denizen of one of the prettiest and strangest openworld sandboxes I have experienced. You fly on a bird and with the help of your relatives you fill out a field guide to the various fauna of the land. The various flying creatures come in a variety of shapes, sizes and families. Attracting a new creature requires the right whistle for that creature's family and triggers a mini game where you can encourage the creature to join you on your adventure. The creature designs are varied and striking. Clearly a lot of work and love was put into their artwork. Another thing done well was the layout and landmarks of the open world. Usually I get overwhelmed and hopelessly lost in games featuring a large overworked but the landmarks and layout made for easy orientation. There is a map you can use but I found myself using it less and less. The serenity of flying around the map just for the sake of exploring is so sublime. Other than Dredge, no other recent game has made me feel so at peace with the world while exploring.

There are a few ruffled feathers here. I was a little let down by the mini game that you play to attract a new creature was largely the same for each and every species. I was expecting something a bit more varied like the mini games in Dredge. While this did not make me dislike the mini game, it makes me feel like there was a bit of missed potential. Speaking of missed potential, there really is not much in the way of a story explaining the world or how the various characters came to be in it. That said, there is a bit of beauty in the slice of life presentation.

Over my 6 hours of gameplay, I have found most of the species and anticipate it will take about 6 more hours to find the remainder and grind for a few of the achievements. Flock has been a lovely experience so far and I would love to see more games like this that create strange new worlds to lose yourself in. I very much encourage you to join the Flock.

Mizi NO! is a short and sweet 2D puzzle game that I cannot recommend enough. Having greatly enjoyed DU&I's other games, I was excited to see they were creating not only a new game but in a completely different puzzle style with its own unique art.

The puzzles start off with Mizi (the cat) on the top of a counter with a given object and bopping it to the ground where you (the player) must place it back together. The art and overall presentation are very well done and add to the cozy atmosphere of the game. There are numerous accessibility options, such as the ability to show the silhouette of the item and hints. While I did not feel the need to use these, I am very glad they are there. I got through the base game in about an hour and loved it so much that I picked up the DLC which greatly expand the scope of the game.

If you are on the fence about this, just play the base game- it's free- and you'll instantly know if you want to sink more time into this cozy world. As for me, it's an easy recommend- Mizi YES!

Prince of Persia The Lost Crown is a great 2D metroidvania spiritual successor to the Sands of Time Trilogy from generations past. While it features completely different characters, setting and gameplay mechanics, it manages to make me feel the same warm enjoyment of the series that I did nearly 20 years ago. The Lost Crown may be one of the the best metroidvanias I have played, not only this year but of all time.

The Lost Crown follows Sargon (not to be confused with Carl Benjamin or the Akkadian ruler) who is a member of the elite fighting force known as The Immortals. The eponymous Prince gets captured and The Immortals follow his captor into Mount Qaf, a mysterious fortress where time is askew. Sargon must recover various abilities from the feathers of the Simurgh (a godlike bird) to traverse Mouth Qaf and rescue the Prince.

I love that (unlike the Sands of Time trilogy) this entry in the Prince of Persia series actually draws from Persian mythology which I only had a passing knowledge of prior to this game. You face off against manticores, chat with Chamrosh and read about Ahura Mazda and Ahriman and I enjoyed every second of it. While I greatly enjoy Greek, Norse and Egyptian mythology, I think it is fantastic that some other mythology gets its moment in the sun.

The Lost Crown does many things well, but the foremost of them is platforming. Sargon controls smoothly both in the air and on the ground. In true metroidvania fashion, you do gain more traversal abilities but several are done in unique ways. Yes, there's and airdash and double jump. However, the Shadow of Simurgh is the most unique traversal ability since the Bash mechanic in the Ori series. The Shadow of Simurgh creates a temporal clone of yourself which you can warp back to at any time. This is used to get around traps, kite larger enemies and avoid attacks that sweep across the screen. Shadow of Simurgh is fantastic that makes veterans of the metroidvania genre smile and wonder what the genre will come up with next. There are several other abilities that I do not wish to spoil here that are riffs on other typical metroidvania abilities that are executed in creative ways. Each area has Xerxes coins which you can use to purchase or upgrade abilities that are suspended in the midst of a 2D gauntlet that requires you to snag the coin and get back to solid land to collect it. If one is familiar with the Rayman Orgins/Legends games, this is the same idea as the Skull Coins.

Paired with the excellent traversal, this game also has some of the best boss battles in the genre. Each one was memorable, none of my deaths felt cheap and the scope of each felt appropriately epic. Along with the epic bosses, the locations within Mount Qaf are varied and jaw droppingly animated. You can go from a prison to an archive to a forest and it all feels seamless. The most creative location by far was exploring ships and a seaside location that was frozen in time, the galleons being pierced by shafts of lightning, crew flying off the ship and suspended in the void.

There are a number of negative reviews on Steam and most them seem to be related to save issues on the Steam Deck or requiring the Ubisoft launcher, both of which do deserve criticism. I did play this on desktop and did not encounter any major gameplay issues nor do I think that the use of the Ubisoft launcher tarnishes an otherwise fantastic game. The only criticism I do have for this game is while it certainly feels epic, the main campaign feels a bit bloated alongside similar games. I took my time going through the game, finishing the campaign at around 81% after 25 hours which feels a bit excessive. This will not prevent me from going back to this game in the future or polishing off that last 19% but it did feel a bit drawn out by the end. There are some folks that take issue with the character of Sargon "replacing" The Prince from the Sands of Time trilogy. This does not really ring as true criticism for me as they have two very different personalities and character arcs- but fear not! If you truly do not like Sargon, there is a skin for the Sands of Time Prince in the game just for you! Do not let that get in your way of your enjoyment of this game.

Those completely minor quibbles aside, The Lost Crown is a phenomenal 2D platforming paradise with excellent exploration and compelling combat. If you or a loved one enjoys any of those things, I encourage you to check out The Lost Crown.

Stray Cats in Cozy Town is a lovely bite-sized hidden-object game that has the usual high quality and polish that I have come to expect from Devcats. It is a shorter experience than the usual Devcats game, but should not be missed, especially given that base game is free and money from the DLC will support The Humane Society of the United States. If you are unfamiliar with Devcats and their games, Cozy Town is the perfect introduction. Check it out!

Spirit City: Lofi Sessions is not so much a game but a focus tool. This is an especially useful application if you find yourself distracted while studying or doing remote work. The artwork is cozy as are the lofi beats, the latter of which the game has plenty of. The different spirits are cute and endearing as are the descriptions. Your enjoyment of this will likely boil down to if you are looking for a productivity tool or not. If not, probably give this a pass. To me, SCLS is a lovely combination of Kind Words and Habitica wrapped up in a duvet. There will be many more cozy lofi sessions in my near future.

Gestalt: Steam and Cinder is a steampunk metroidvania that is beautifully animated and has satisfying movement as well as the smoothest 2D combat since Dead Cells. You play as Aletheia, a badass mercenary, armed with a sword and gun in addition to both a dodge roll and a backdash. The combat is where this game shines the brightest. Sword attacks are nothing particularly unique but the gun is where the combat goes from good to great. Many enemies are mechanical and have green stagger meters alongside their red health bar. The Tesla bullets from the gun can stun the enemies with a stagger meter, causing the enemy to be staggered and you can rush them with your sword. You generate more bullets by attacking enemies and quickly shift into a rhythm where you alternate between rushing in with your sword, generate bullets, shoot bullets, then rush enemy. It feels nothing short of sublime.

It should be known that GSC is on the easier side. This does not bother me, but for those looking for a soulslike experience- you won't find it here. I only had a handful of deaths while playing through to 100%, most of which I used to quick travel out of far away portions of the map. If there was an accessory or ability to warp back to the last save point in the late game, my death total would be in the single digits. Bosses in general are not difficult, which is a bit of a surprise as they are oftentimes built up to be a complete badass, only for me to steamroll them without using a health flask. This is not intended to be a humblebrag (I am a veteran of the genre but by no means an expert), but a disparity between how the game builds up the bosses and how they actually come across in gameplay. Is this a power fantasy or ludonarrative dissonance? You decide.

Speaking of story, it is the weakest part of this game. It is a fairly standard Chosen One narrative (which is not a problem) but the great majority of the story takes place via dialogue during which Aletheia is not actually present or anywhere near the action. As a result, I did not feel myself overly invested in the overarching plot, only what Aletheia was up to, likable badass as she is. While one would think this would even out to an average story, there is a narrative decision in the last sixty seconds of the story that made me throw up my hands in frustration. I wondered if perhaps I had missed out on an item to have gotten that ending, but no- this appears to be it. Maybe this will be retconned or expanded on with additional content, but it left a sour taste in my mouth.

Ending aside, Gestalt:Steam and Cinder is a complete joy to play and I would heartily recommend it to anyone who is looking for a breezy 2D metroidvania with phenomenal combat, a likable protagonist and beautiful setting. While it is a shorter experience clocking in at just under 10 hours of playtime on my completionist run, these cinders certainly do burn bright.