9
Products
reviewed
230
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Ratas Jüri

Showing 1-9 of 9 entries
5 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
0.5 hrs on record
Posted 13 August, 2023.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
29 people found this review helpful
10.6 hrs on record (0.1 hrs at review time)
Lasang
Posted 26 November, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
3.9 hrs on record (3.3 hrs at review time)
nice
Posted 22 November, 2022. Last edited 22 November, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
201.7 hrs on record (12.5 hrs at review time)
sbmm sucks
Posted 17 November, 2022. Last edited 9 August, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
29.4 hrs on record
I'm telling you, the real reason Walter broke bad was because he received the world's worst handjob which made him reconsider his entire existence. Your wife yanking around your 50 year old half chub with 10% of her attention while simultaneously borderline orgasming at selling a girthy 8,5 inch vase on eBay for 56 dollars is an experience that people in the darkest bdsm dungeons would be shivering at. I swear to god Walter Jr. is probably having a wilder sex life on the other side of the wall with his sock than these two have had in the past five years.
So when he received his cancer diagnosis the prolonged silence was not due to shock but because of pure bliss and relief because he knew that in a few years he'll likely be dead and won't have to live like that.
That's why when he received the news of remission he was so fricking angry. And I don't know why people see the Salamanca twins as villains, they were clearly just tryna help a homie out and spare him from this existence. Oh, but why did they go after Hank then, you might ask? Well, then you clearly don't remember Hank's handjob scene from season 4, they were trying to save him from that. Really they were the true heroes of this show trying to save people from fricking miserable, pee-pee shriveling handjobs.
And then, of course, poo starts happening, Skyler fricks Ted and Walt goes off the chain prolly thinking stuff like "bet she didn't give just a bad handjob to Ted, oh no! My god, I wouldn't even be surprised if she agreed to do anal with him! While I've been pleading for years!". That right there's a thought progression enough to start a man crashing plants in random office buildings. And the way it can mess with your sexual thinking, Lord only knows what kind of cataclysmic insanities Walt was busting nuts to while living alone.
But then Walt has a romantic dinner with Gus, realises there's at least someone who'd probably agree to have anal with him, meanwhile Ted gets paralyzed, no more anal for him, Walt calls up Skyler "I won".
Now Walt can be smug for the entirety of season 5, he's back on top of the sex chain. So Breaking Bad is really about Walt's sexual transformation from a submissive forced-into-humiliation-kink middle aged man to a borderline sex offender to an off the rails cuck to a pure alpha male who's ascended past sex and at the end of season 5 we can see him die with bliss on his face because he's redeemed himself.
Posted 29 October, 2022. Last edited 29 October, 2022.
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314 people found this review helpful
154 people found this review funny
7
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18
4
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23
39.0 hrs on record (8.8 hrs at review time)
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn.
Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.
Posted 14 October, 2022.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
500.1 hrs on record (111.6 hrs at review time)
im dying
Posted 28 November, 2021. Last edited 22 November, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
692.8 hrs on record (35.5 hrs at review time)
CS:GO Review
how do russian people mastercard
Posted 11 September, 2021. Last edited 28 October, 2022.
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2 people found this review helpful
6.4 hrs on record (4.0 hrs at review time)
wha
Posted 27 August, 2021.
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Showing 1-9 of 9 entries