Dear kale, I have been meaning to tell you this for years but havent not been able to build up the courage to do so. Ever since you groped me in the seventh grade during gym class while we were doing yoga i knew you were the one, the fork to my spoon. I cant not tell you how i go everyday not thinking about you kale. remember when you called off work to come to my seventh grade home coming with me? I remember it like it was yesterday. remember when you spilled cranberry juice all over your suit and had to take it off in the middle of the auditorium, you got kicked out too by law enforcement and now you cant go on school grounds. those were the good times. anyways I just want to let you know that although we have a 47 year age gap i still want you to be my forever kale. so will you come to my eighth grade prom? there will be many other kids there so they can rub ur legs like how you make me! i hope you say yes kale! sincerely- you're lover boy