Recent reviews by JORGEN VON PYTON

11/10, would dig again

wish the ball jokes weren't so orbvious

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (27/10)
Ah, "BÓBR KURWA," a masterpiece that ascends the ordinary realms of gaming into the celestial spheres of sheer magnificence! This opus magnifies the quintessence of digital artistry, transporting the discerning player to a realm where beavers are not mere creatures but sovereign deities of the digital cosmos.

Upon the initiation of this grandiloquent journey, one is instantly enveloped in an aura of unparalleled brilliance. The graphics, resplendent in their luminescence, evoke the splendor of Renaissance masterpieces, rivaling the grandeur of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. Each pixel, each hue, is meticulously crafted, presenting a visual feast akin to the opulence of a Baroque palace.

The narrative is a veritable odyssey, a Homeric epic that weaves through the intricate tapestry of beaver lore with the finesse of a Shakespearean sonnet. The dialogues, dripping with wit and erudition, are akin to the mellifluous prose of the Elizabethan era, resonating with the eloquence of a thousand poets.

Gameplay, oh, the gameplay! It is an exquisite ballet of strategy and dexterity, demanding the intellect of a polymath and the agility of an acrobat. The controls are a paragon of precision, offering a seamless interface that is both intuitive and profoundly satisfying. Each movement, each action, is a testament to the game’s immaculate design, reminiscent of the harmonious symphony of a Mozart concerto.

The auditory experience is nothing short of celestial. The soundtrack, a sublime orchestration of melodic euphoria, transports the player to ethereal realms of sonic delight. Each note, each chord, is an aural testament to the boundless genius of its composers, worthy of the grandest concert halls.

In summation, "BÓBR KURWA" is not merely a game; it is an epoch-defining phenomenon, a zenith of human creativity that transcends the boundaries of the imaginable. It is a veritable cornucopia of delight, an elixir of joy that rejuvenates the spirit and invigorates the soul.

Thus, with great reverence and unrestrained enthusiasm, I bestow upon "BÓBR KURWA" the illustrious rating of twenty-seven out of ten. An assessment that, while seemingly hyperbolic, barely does justice to the prodigious splendor of this unparalleled digital marvel.

Bravo! Encore! Magnifique!

10/10, would turn nemo into sushi again

has beer
10/10

yeah not being able to say anything serious feels kinda real, 10/10

a challenge and a pleasure to the eye, good one

audiovisual style, unique characters, minigames, story pushing itself forward just when you need it to, and a new approach to enemies - I found more great stuff here than I expected

probably best roguelike I've ever played, ngl
random combos you can get are either totally crap or totally op, which is cute in it's own way
repetitive gameplay isn't a problem as long as the plot moves on thanks to it, keeps me playing

a former percy jackson fan here so my opinion shouldn't really matter anyway

I'm pretty sure I love this game and it's artstyle more than I'd love my girlfriend if I had one