Recente recensies door Terry Bruge-Hiplo

This is an exclusive Terry Bruge-Hiplo report:

They are billions is a game about a few dozen bad guys running into wooden spikes. Sometimes there are so many baker's dozens of bad guys the wooden spikes aren't enough. In that case there is another option. Because of that option I give this game a very high rating of 4 wet mouths and a bunch of Italian style kisses with a final straight to the mouth regardless of consent. Sorry, auntie. It's not my fault I grew up in the 40's.

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Prison Architrecht is a video game where you build an american jail for men or women. You can choose to build a man jail or a girl jail from the start of the game which is a nice feature. I built a boy prison and made a death row. I chose to kill many of men who illegally pirated movies online because they are the scum of the earth. I feel bad for anyone who is in prison for something small like a single murder. Do you know how much money production factories lose for a single movie pirated? tens of dollars. After playing this, every time I need to play payday so I can be reminded how smaller crimes bring in more money without hurting dozens of people. This is a super realistic game in many senses. I wish I had more time in the day to play games like this since it reminds me of how evil humanity has come. I give this game an unprecedented 4 and a half wet kisses (one on the cheek) and a handful of mouths with black tar heroin stuffed in the upper lip.

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Yakuza is about the italian mafia in Japan. You play as a police boy in a world of hate and anger. You can fight using bicycles and garbages. Even though the fight is difficult, you can still win if you eat enough noodles every time. I give it 4 wet mouths and a couple of kisses.

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Stranger Deep is a game about going deep in debt to the point where the only place you can live is an island. You build a building out of twigs and eat crabs. What would make this game better is just about anything. I give it one reluctant scrunchy mouth kiss with a retracted tongue and no mouths.

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Don't Starve is exactly what a mouth shouldn't need to try and do. Thankfully, we can have friends keep our mouths full and hydrated. I give it 4 kisses and 4 very, very wet mouths.

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I got this game and didn't get very far due to an appendix attack. Regardless of the appendix my mouth is still fine. 3 wet kisses and a mouth that still works is my final score.

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Dayz is about many nights going by. I don't understand why it's called Dayz since it is mostly night. I like the voice features in this game. I finally have a place to express my true feelings about all the movie reviews I couldn't finish for Channel 5. More people should try this game since people are so friendly and understanding. One person agreed with me exactly on what I should rate this game. 3 bean breath mouths and a frothy couple of kisses.

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Shogun two is the sequel to shogun one. It's about a Japanese man who wants to win a country in history. The story behind this game is fantastic, it must be written by JK Rowling. I gave it 2 wet mouths and a kiss with dry tongue.

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FTL is one of the best games for hot-heads. If you have a hot head, you can cool it off when you open the doors. 4 kisses and a wet mouth.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive report:

Welcome to a world of rims. I have never had more fun playing a rim-themed game in my long lifetime.

5 wet kisses and 5 mouths with white stuff in the corners.