Recent reviews by gilbert giggles

happy birthday half life 2!! you are my anchor, you are my rock

This game is evil incarnate. Not once have I had any semblance of fun in this game. Perhaps when i loaded this game up i was excited at what lay on the horizon. Only 50 hours in and i have been subject to some of the most horrible torture techniques imaginable. the people who play this game are evil. they seemingly serve no purpose other than to taunt and destroy and sort of hope or joy you had prior to the match starting. if you are just starting you better be ready to leave your dignity, honor, and happiness behind. this game is equivalent to war. horror. absolute horror awaits you if you play this game.

fun game and amazing story, had me invested the entire time. amazing environment and soundtrack. the only thing that makes this just below perfect for me is the stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rumblers. first time you see one in the pitch darkness of the basketball court you're like "oh ♥♥♥♥ that thing is scary" and then like any normal survival game you have to plan out how to kill it. by the end of the game these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ things are nothing more than pests and as soon as i saw one my mood just immediately dropped. one is bad enough but at times you'll have 2 or three just chasing you through the halls and you have no choice but to play ring around the rosie in an otherwise horrifying game. just being chased by one is bad enough but the fact that they literally get right ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ behind you not even a centimeter of separation between you two and you just have to deal with it. at times they were genuinely scary, and sometimes snuck up on me and was actually a good scare. but then after awhile it got annoying like how are these big bulky flesh monsters able to just sneak up on you perfectly silent when in every other instance they are screaming and clopping their fat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ feet on the ground and you can hear it 5 rooms down. sometimes when i got to a cool area my immediate reaction was oh wow i wonder what this place has in store for me and then i hear the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fee fi fo fum feet of these fat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and my smile immediately fades into discontent. every other enemy is fine (maybe except the spiders). just when you think you got away from these things one of the last areas has you going right to their front door and banging on it and letting them all know you're here. luckily it's just shy of being the shortest section so i guess it's not that big of a deal. but taking around an hour and a half in a probably half hour to 45 minute and having to walk these big bumbling oafs up and down the hall as they breathe down your neck does not make it go by quicker. i hate them. i hate the rumblers. otherwise perfect game seriously. maybe i just had bad luck.

possibly the one complaint i have with this game is that the dialog is far from the masterclass work done in the first two games. you find yourself at times wondering if this is the same max payne. in actuality it's not, rockstar crafted their own version of max payne who is still lovable and closely mimics the first two.
the gameplay is clearly what makes this game go. rockstar perfected what remedy had dreamed of in 2001 with the seamless bullet time and even added on aspects that make it a million times better. the ability to slow down the kill cam is so fun to watch. almost every mission has max payne jumping through a window in slow motion or flying through the air through some wire, and it never gets old. bullet time is probably one of the best video game gimmicks ever. endless possibilities, never gets old, and makes you feel cool as ♥♥♥♥ as you watch the bullets fly past you as you dodge them.
max adorns plenty of good outfits in this game as well, which makes him stand out from the first two. whereas the first two had him in the classic noir black trenchcoat, this game's main outfit for max is the stupid tropical button-up that fits perfectly in his situation and surroundings.
the story's good. it keeps you interested. the first two games had the visual-novel style for escalating scenes, but this game uses cutscenes. max always seems to get involved in some sort of conspiracy and it's funny because you'd think he wouldn't fall for it a 3rd time.

plenty of good moments in this game. this is one of my favorite games of all time. a big portion of my love is probably nostalgia. this was my first max payne game and finally getting around to play the first two make me appreciate max himself as a character more and the game series itself. max payne has always been about innovation to the gaming landscape, amazing world building, and plenty of fun things to mess around with in the environment. max payne 3 doesn't have as much of a playable environment as the first two (flushing toilets, turning on sinks, etc.)

this game rocks. i love max payne. I personally think he is one of the greatest protagonists in gaming. his name is literally MAX PAYNE is there a cooler name than that?!??!?!?! very excited for the remakes, though they're not gonna be the same without james.

max payne is a national treasure

metal gear solid

everybody ever needs to play this game immediately

hot

is good gam

good gam