I want to marry Kirisame Marisa from the Touhou Project. Ever since I was a young boy I've been interested in blondes, but I've mostly been repelled because they are stupid white women who do not know how to think. One day, while I was playing touhou, I saw an image of a peculiar blonde with a witch attire. I immediately fell in love. The long, luscious hair, the dominating yet cute attire, the smug, tsundere, yet cute personality all formed into one perfect being by the name of Marisa Kirisame. And so I began my search for Marisa, I played all the touhou games with all the spell cards just so I could the most out of her majesty. I searched all of Danbooru for images of her, just so I could get to see her beautiful tomboyish body. You see, Cirno is not the domboyish girl in love. Marisa is. She is in love with me. Yet the reality barrier separates us like Romeo and Juliette. It is the cruel fate that is reality that separates such star-crossed lovers from each other. Only something so powerful as the reality barrier can separate me from my dear Marisa. For it is my true fate to be married to my lover. On dark days where there is no sun, I shall caress Marisa and tell her everything is alright. On bright days, where there is nought but bliss, I will stay by her side, to share the bliss infinitefold, like two mirrors in proximity. On the adventurous days, we will steal what we wish. Some days, we will steal diamonds. Some days, we will steal virginities. And always, we will steal our hearts. Each other's hearts. For it is the true love that does not brag, it only contains itself infinitely. Such is the love of me and Marisa Kirisame

"We have a really really really big one"
"This is huge, this is the biggest one so far"
"I felt very overwhelmed looking at this"
- Nyaru the caramel idol vtuber

we are sons of hogs you couldn't crank