Recent reviews by TheSwagLlama

Best game I've played in a while. Takes the original and improves pretty much every aspect of it, adding some new things too.

Addictive and engaging all for the price of a large cheesy chips (outside of London)

Was really starting to lose my love for video games, the youthful spark of adventure and excitement I had once found in video games was dying out, and I was honestly spending most of my free time on Youtube or Netflix. Elden Ring changed that, and now I'm addicted to video games again. Thank you FromSoftware.

Made on unity so it has terrible graphics with terrible animations. The game look like a digital homicide game (search them) and the UI is awful. Would not recommend, go buy something better

"dey are burning all of de weed"

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scary asf m8

10/10

ส์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์ส์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ัส์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์็์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์่์ํ์ั์ํ์๋์ํ์ั์ํ์

Depression simulator 2016

gamemodes
campaign:
although this is not the main reason as to why people buy this game, it is a very good experience and really gives you that star wars feel.

galactic conquest:
in this, you go to different planets in a turn-based style gamemode. when you reach a planet occupied by the enemy, you can take it over by engaging in an epic battle. as for the enemy's, they will move to your planets and attempt to take them over so you must defend.

free play
i underlined this because it's worthy of it's own game as it's such a good feature and the main reason why people still buy this.

classic:
this is a classic, battle in which the team with the most kills at the end wins!

hunt:
this pits humans verses creatures. on hoth, it is snow monsters vs rebels in a fight to the death! it is a very fun gamemodes to play and is the most different.

capture the flag:
everyone knows what it is. both teams must work to capture all of the checkpoints and stop the enemy's from being able to spawn by capturing theirs. it is one of the best gamemodes and fun to play

assault:
this one is interesting. it is hero's vs hero's. that's right, you can pick from any of your sides hero's and fight against the other hero's!

XL:
this is by far the best. this is 300 vs 300 and is available on hoth, kashyyyk and genosis because they are big maps. this leads to some pretty epic battles with masses of soldiers engages in a fight to the death. with a bit of modding, you can enable XL mode for every map which is insane on the smaller ones. sadly, it isn't returning on the new game

space battles
there are a number of space battles which are actually really cool. it is awesome to be able to fly tie fighters and other various star wars ships. the controls are very good and with some rebel ships, you can tie up to at-at's legs and make it fall over. absolute quality!

pro's
+relaxed gameplay
this game is very laidback and is the sort of thing you'd play on a rainy day. as nerd cubed said: it's a 'comfort' game. play this on a snowy day with a mug of hot chocolate and a digestive and you'll feel amazing

+authentic star wars feel
it perfectly replicates the feel of the star wars films with the intense battles on such a large scale. you can play as all your favourite jedi or sith characters.

+advanced ai
for the time, the ai was actually really advanced. still is. the npc's will fight each other and move around in perfect fashion. they make the battlefield feel more alive really.

+loads of options
there are a lot of options that you can change. you can switch from 1st to 3rd person, you change character easily, etc. there aren't a lot of restrictions in this game which makes it an amazing game. you can play it the way you want to.

cons
-no multiplayer servers
as of may 31st 2014, all multiplayer servers were shut down. this is not a major problem as you can use LAN software like https://www.gameranger.com/ for exmple, which a very good program where you can set up servers with your friends and play any gamemode (except XL) with them for hours!

-hero's to op
i guess it's not really a problem but if you're playing on a normal gamemode and you get a hero, you will slaughter hundereds of enemy's before dying yourself. it's really fun though. VOLVO TOO OP PLS NERF

all in all
get this game if you want to play a star wars game the way it's meant to be! not like the latest battle which (i've heard) get's boring after a while and loses the star wars feel. it's a cheap game at £6.99 ($10.15) and worth much more! it will keep you entertained for hours on end and that is why i definately recommend it!

synopsis
you play as rico rodriguez, a man working for a spy agency. in previous games, you have been sent to different places to take down evil dictators and crumple criminals. but now, you go back to your birth place of medici: a beautiful tropical island. there you meet with some old friends from before you left. you find the rebellion: a group of people working to overcome the evil dictator General Di Ravello. Di Ravello has taken over medici and see's global domination as his ultimate goal. In jc3, you must crumple Di Ravello's forces and tear down his empire. take back Medici and return it to the paradise it was before.

on release
this game was not finished. well, sort of. it was poorly optimised for amd GPU's, a problem which avalanche should have adressed earlier. there would be problems like performance issues and (for me especially) the world would not load. there would be huge chunks missings out of the landscaspe. big, triangular holes in the ground which only appeared when going near to it. view my screenshots for a cheeky look at what im on about

now
after about 3 weeks of being out, amd released a new graphics driver which fixed all the problems, there was no glitches or missing landscape, it was finally what it was designed to be: a beautiful landscape.

pro's
+HUGE open world to explore
this world is 1000km squared in total (400 miles) which makes it bigger than gta V and even the witcher 3.

+colourful, beautiful landscape, sky and water (no 4k grass blades volvo plz fix)
the landscape is so vibrant and alive, the colours are bright and sharp

+even more destruction than last time
let's be honest, jc2 was not really that destructible. you could take down water tanks and whatnot but they all fell the same way. it was kinda repetitive. but on jc3, there is an all knew physics engine which makes it AWESOME. each destructible object is built up of many different smaller objects.if you crash a plane, it will fall apart and all the pieces won't sit there and disappear after 5 seconds, they will be proper physics objects that you can move around and tether to other things. when you bomb a radio tower, it will start to slowly tumble in any direction, every little bit, every little piece of metallic doom will fall apart when it hits the ground and the whole thing will result in another explosion. there are a lot of things you can blow up this time. walls, guard towers, giant masts, sunflowers, bus stops and A LOT more.

+the grapple hook
in jc2, it was not that good. you could take yourself over to another place with it or pull an enemy back a little but that was it. this one is new and improved. for one, it is stronger so if you attatch someone to a building they won't fall back down again after 4 seconds. there are up to six tethers (grapple attatchments) this time so you can attatch multiple things to multiple other things. you can make a conga line of civillians on the back of your car or under your helicopter. you can steal a plane by attatching it under your helicopter and flying off. you can steal people. it's glorious. my favourite grapple feature (of course) is the retract feature. when you have a tether, this tightens the it, forcing it to get smaller, forcing the two things on either end to come together. you can do amazing things with this. human catapults, crucifixions..... wait what? yeah, this does lead to very evil intentions. stretching an npc's limbs until he dies (luckily theres not dismemberment). with the retract feature, you can down structures and make them fall on people. also touching down on the destruction and physics category, you can pull down guard towers and, as said before, they are made up of pieces of metal so it will just completely fall into a pile of rubbish (before exploding). and also, if you grapple an npc or animal, you go flying towards them and drop kick them ("you can drop kick a cow GOTY 2025")

+wingsuit
this is new with jc3 and is a very nice feature indeed. yes, it is hard at first but once you use it for a while, you will get used to it and become some kind of epic global elite ninja (VOLVO PLZ NERF). if mastered, you can go very fast with this thing and makes travelling very nice and easy (EZ PZ). vehicles are so overrated.

+mario
this guy is pure banter

+unlimited c4
you don't have to worry about how many bomb you have (apart from grenades) because c4 is unlimited now! you start off being able to plant up to 3 bombs at a time but can go up to 5 (i think). once exploded, you can just plant another set BOOM........ done (pardon the pun)

+jc3 mp coming soon
that's right, they're back. the beasts who made jc2 multiplayer are working on it now and i reckon it won't be long. imagine being on a bridge when suddenly, it starts to fall down, and you die. i played jc2 mp for about 25 hours and i loved it. you could hundreds of players in one server which was amazing but there were no npc's. imagine there being npc's in jc3 mp and everyone using their tether to make the BIGGEST conga line ever to have existed.

+new liberation
in jc2, it was annoying to take over places but now, theres all new task to take over places like killing the base general, disabling the security or missile system etc. although towns are kinda all the same (more below), the army bases are all unique in design and are fun to destroy.

+challenges
there are various challenges whether it's driving, shooting, wingsuiting or flying a plane. most of them are just time trials where you go through checkpoints but other are where you must destroy as much as possible or whatever. they are quite fun to do. by doing challenges, you get gears. the better you do, the more you get (up to 5 available in a challenge). these gars unlock 'gear mods' which are modifications to things like cars, planes, boats, explosives, guns, wingsuit, grapple hook. modifications are little things like more grapple tethers, upping the max c4 in one plant, having nitro on vehicles, wider blast radius on grenades etc.

con's

-some boring missions
a few of the missions kind of drag on a little bit. just the same old 'ride on a car and take out enemy's following'. you know the drill.

-repetitive takeovers
liberating a base or town gets repetitive because most of the time, it's just the same thing. blow up some statues, destroy a gas tank and whatever. of course, some places will have different things like not every town will have a gas station and now every town will have a statue but its all the same really. it is fun to blow up stuff thought as (as i said earlier), the physics make all explosions unpredictable.

all in all
all in all, i recommend this game to anyone who likes destruction, open worlds and unpredictable, random and funny physics. it's a good investment and will keep you entertained for hours on end. do not get if you have a low end pc or potato. i have a mid-range pc (specs on profile) that can run at the lowest settings (stupid websites said high). so of course, do not pre-order games and don't believe sites like can you run it. the hype overcame me and forced me to pre-order so take it from personal experience: don't do it.