Recent reviews by Lain

The only mention of the EGS account requirement for multiplayer is under "System Requirements". How is that a system requirement? Not to mention there is no way to opt out of crossplay so you are forced to have an EGS account if you want to play online. Also why does this not have a fat label like Ghost of Tsushima?

Unironically one of the worst DLCs I've ever played.

Truly awful. ♥♥♥♥ combat and ♥♥♥♥ performance.

Quite frankly one of the worst and most unpolished games I've ever played. How do you release after Elden Ring and still suck this much?

♥♥♥♥ performance, ♥♥♥♥ level design, ♥♥♥♥ design choices in general, too little Vestiges and ♥♥♥♥ the seedling system, only a single blacksmith in the entire game, when you decide to keep playing after you finish the game you'll still be left without certain important NPCs depending on the ending you chose, broken hitboxes on some bosses, delayed combo extenders suck ♥♥♥♥ still, some bosses have stupid amounts of hp (though tbf I basically played the entire game with a +7 Angel's Axe as I killed off the blacksmith a bit too early since I was aiming for the Umbral ending), Umbral is an interesting concept but implemented quite poorly or at least in an inconveniencing way, the background noise is quite frankly headache-inducing (hello Umbral) and the soundtrack is mediocre at best.

Additionally, this game tries reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hard to be a spectactle. Does every boss need a second phase? A third phase? Why? They are just gonna be a normal enemy 2 minutes later. Should have put some more spectacle into the game's areas and music.
I had more fun running from point A to B to finish a quest than I had fighting bosses.
The one thing this game got going for it is character design (by which I mean deranged and psychotic women that could kill me at any second). Ong these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can come bounce on this ♥♥♥♥ any day.
Anyway, this game has surprisingly good-looking armor sets and weapons. Very good-looking indeed, just sucks that it's in a game this bad.
This game starts out as "teehee, here a few pikemen and marksmen" and before you know it you get spammed with enemies that can two shot you.
Bosses look good but most of them play like a slog.
Vestige system is complete garbage. Never leave Skyrest without a Seedling. They give you a single Vestige at the start of a level and then expect you to always carry around Seedlings to create temporary Vestiges. Don't have a Seedling on you? Tough, either first try this boss or run another 5 minutes. What? You want to backtrack? Good luck with that :)
Sometimes you get stuck on either invisible objects or just bad geometry.
Being in Umbral is a genuine pain because you'll have to deal with both real enemies and Umbral ones. Also ♥♥♥♥ these retarded bats or whatever that just bomb you off a cliff.
Some levels genuinely just have confusing or convoluted layouts. You'll be running left and right and opening doors and shortcuts everywhere, it can get pretty tedious. ESPECIALLY if the shortcut is to an Umbral Flowerbed (small flowerbeds that indicate where you can plant Seedlings) that you used 20 minutes prior and you'll most likely have placed your Seedling somewhere else already. What is the point to that?
Also, you better make sure to watch out for levers because you will definitely miss them and they will be necessary to progress (they blend in with everything else).
Most pickups and drops in this game are borderline useless.
For some reason the password settings for multiplayer is in the settings instead of.... the multiplayer menu? What?
On the topic of performance: I had to run this game at all low graphics with AMD FSR enabled to even get above 60fps. Not too mention all the random stutters and crashes I had. Unless you desperately need a player summon (which you will never get unless you go out of your way to ask for one on Discord or whatever) just turn off EAC. No more stuttering, no more crashes.

At the very least it was a mostly bug-free experience. The only bug I ran into was heals not registering despite using up a flask (I ain't spelling that word) when using them during a boss' phase transition (cutscene transitions to be specific).


In conclusion, Griefbound Rowena best girl (what that mouth do)

endless turn 2

Game got me like zzz. Looks bad, runs bad and is a snooze fest. Hurrrr "it's early access" durrrrrrrrr, I don't care. Devs should learn how to release full games again

Review has been updated for the most recent patches 09/03/24 (it's dd/mm/yy you troglodytes)

Pros:

• Fun
  
• Actually, really fun if you don't play on higher difficulties (I find Extreme/Impossible to be a nice sweetspot, Suicide and Helldiver is really just getting spammed with patrols, Bile Titans, Bile Spewers and Chargers). The satirical approach reminds me of EDF and Starship troopers while the gameplay just reminds me of EDF, just with better graphics. It's executed quite well in my opinion. If you can look past all the issues, of course. Also assuming you can even play the game in the first place because you will spend a lot of time just waiting in the queue to even get into the game because the servers are constantly at max capacity
  
• You can earn paid currency by playing

Cons:

• Anything with bile in its name
  
• The higher the difficulty, the more artificial it is
  
• Bad AI (a patrol literally spawned 2 meters away from me)
  
• There are unironically only TWO secondary weapons besides the default pistol, one of them being locked behind the Premium pass (ironically enough, the Premium one is complete garbage)
  
• Most of the armor just looks bad, sorry not sorry. The helmets look dope for the most part but the rest does not, for the most part. Also give us more customization, most of the armor parts simply don't go well together for different reasons, whether that be colors, texture or material or a combination of any of these three
  
• Crashes when changing armor or tabbing out in fullscreen or even when Alt F4'ing, random disconnects, infinite loading screens etcetc. You can't even pull the "Early Access" excuse out of your ass, as it's not in Early Access. It's sold as a full game at a full price (don't let the gaming industry gaslight you, 40 bucks is the highest any company should be asking of you, anything above that is a scam). It is simply unpolished
  
• Their handling of the Discord server is hilariously bad (coughcough, the "F" Incident on 15th Feb)
  
• Micro transactions. Yes yes, blablabla server costs blabla, I get it. I just think they don't have a place in a game you are already paying money for. At least you can earn the paid currency by playing the game and it's actually not that grindy tbh
  
• ♥♥♥♥ ROTATING STORES, ALL MY HOMIES HATE ROTATING STORES
  
• Questionable anti-cheat. Just go check the "anti-cheat" section of the forum
  
• Devs will fix a fun (albeit game-breaking bug, you could basically pick the same strategem up to 4 times) within a day yet other frequent issues like crashes are still present a month after launch
  
• Not the game's fault but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, the ♥♥♥♥ riders of this game are unbelievably braindead. I thought FromSoft ♥♥♥♥ riders were the peek of retardation but the people defending this horrid launch are truly the masters of mental gymnastics
  
• Every time they release anything new the servers go down

The cons outweigh the pros because there isn't much to say about the gameplay itself. You grind, get better equipment, grind, get better equipment - rinse and repeat. If you enjoyed EDF you will probably enjoy this game too. Get it during a sale though, in its current state I'd rather wait for EDF6. Arrowhead doesn't deserve your money tbh.

Edit 23/07: While the gameplay certainly feels more fun and less ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ than at release, it frequently gets stuck in loading screens meaning you will have to alt f4.

Ok, fun little game but why are 99% of achievements for singleplayer when this game was clearly made with multiplayer as its focus?

Remove Forest Keepers

This game is fun until you want to earn your freedom

On a serious note, this game is severly lacking. The gameplay itself is fun and all, but currently there are only 3 programs with few original trials and some repeats with increased difficulty, followed by Program X and Program Omega. Program X and Program Omega are also just repeats of the previous trials but made even more tedious because... No idea. So people have something to waste their time on while they wait for some new trials, I guess. It's pitiful that something so fun is dragged down by its lack of content.