> be me
> 2000s
> discover Garry's Mod
> "What is this madness?"
> download it with friends
> load into a server
> "gm_construct 24/7 sandbox fun"
> see a player as a giant banana
> another one is a flying toilet
> can't stop laughing
> spawn a bathtub
> try to drive it
> ends up flying into the sky
> realize I have no idea what I'm doing
> join a "DarkRP" server
> become a "banana dealer"
> everyone takes my bananas seriously
> build a massive fort out of props
> someone nukes it
> GMod logic
> switch to "Prop Hunt"
> become a giant lamp
> hide in plain sight
> hear hunters shoot everything but me
> try not to laugh out loud
> one hunter left
> they're looking right at me
> I'm sweating virtual lampshades
> somehow survive
> victory lamp dance
> decide to try "Trouble in Terrorist Town"
> instantly accused of being a traitor
> I'm just socially awkward
> friend tries to kill me
> accidentally shoots someone else
> chaos ensues
> epic betrayal
> cry laughing
> switch to "sandbox" mode
> build a rocket ship
> launch it into the sun
> why not?
> Garry's Mod, where being a flying toilet is normal
> 11/10 would hide as a lamp again

---

[The Great Hall is filled with students buzzing with excitement, their chatter echoing off the enchanted ceiling that reflects the weather outside. Colorful banners of all the Hogwarts houses hang from the walls. The Sorting Hat, a cardboard box with googly eyes, sits precariously on a rickety stool, swaying slightly.]

Dumbledore (wearing a traffic cone hat): Welcome, everyone, to Garry's Modwarts School of Wizardry and Sandboxery! Here, magic meets mayhem, and the only limit is your imagination! Today promises to be as unpredictable as a broomstick race through a thunderstorm!

Students: (cheering) Woo! Go Modwarts! We’re ready for anything!

[Snape, lurking in the shadows with a comically oversized nose, sneers at the students, adjusting his oversized potion bottle.]

Snape: (muttering) Just wait until Potions class... they’ll be begging for mercy.

[Students file into Snape's dimly lit classroom filled with bubbling cauldrons and colorful ingredients scattered about. Snape, wearing a spinning propeller beanie, stands at the front, arms crossed.]

Snape: (sarcastically) Today, we shall be making...erm...bananas into gold. Yes, bananas. I expect full concentration!

Ron (holding a bunch of bananas): But Professor, isn’t that impossible?

Snape: (hissing) Mr. Weasley, in the world of Garry's Mod, anything is possible! Now, follow my instructions precisely!

Hermione: (raising her hand) What’s the incantation for this spell?

Snape: (dramatic) The incantation is: "Banana-goldus transformus!" But don’t get your hopes up!

[Students start fumbling with their ingredients, causing cauldrons to explode in colorful bursts, covering them in sparkles.]

[Hermione is now in the library, where a chaotic scene of floating books swirls around her. She’s perched atop a stack of books, her face lit with excitement.]

Hermione: (excitedly) I’ve discovered a way to rewrite the laws of physics! I shall call it... "The Physgun Spell"!

Ron (holding a physics gun): Brilliant, Hermione! Can it help me with Potions homework?

Hermione: (smirking) Only if you use it to lift the textbooks!

Harry: (walking in) Guys, you won’t believe what just happened! Hagrid tried to ride a giant flying bathtub!

Hermione: (rolling her eyes) What is it with Hagrid and bizarre transportation?

Ron: (laughing) I just hope he doesn’t fly it during our next match!

[On the Quidditch pitch, Hagrid is trying to mount a gigantic, flying bathtub, which wobbles in the air like a cork. The Gryffindor team watches, some stifling laughter.]

Hagrid (struggling): Come on, Buckbeak, just a little more...yeehaw!

Harry: (facepalming) Hagrid, it’s a bathtub, not a broomstick!

Hagrid: (muttering) Aye, but it’s a good one! Perfect for a soak after practice!

Ginny: (laughing) Only you, Hagrid, could think of a bathtub as a Quidditch broom.

[As Hagrid finally mounts the bathtub, it takes off unexpectedly, wobbling in the air. The Gryffindor team erupts in laughter.]

Hagrid: (yelling) This was a bad idea! Buckbeak, slow down!

[In the Forbidden Forest, Voldemort (with a rubber chicken for a head) gathers with his Death Eaters, who are dressed as clowns. They stand around a bubbling cauldron filled with colorful liquid.]

Voldemort (flapping his rubber chicken head): My fellow Dark Dorks, it’s time to take over Garry's Modwarts!

Death Eater #1: (gulping) Right! But what’s the plan, my Lord?

Voldemort: (rolling his eyes) Chaos is the plan! We will spread confusion, like confetti in a windstorm!

Death Eater #2: (muttering) You mean our quack army?

Voldemort: (frustrated) No, an actual army! Now, who wants to practice our evil laughter?

[They bump into each other, causing chaos and laughter, as Voldemort attempts to regain control.]

[The epic showdown begins in the Great Hall, where tables have been overturned. Students watch in anticipation.]

Dumbledore (wielding a giant inflatable hammer): You shall not pass!

Voldemort (waving his rubber chicken): Avada Kedavra...or should I say, Avada Quackra!

[They engage in a whimsical rubber-chicken duel, creating silly sound effects with each strike. Students cheer as Dumbledore and Voldemort perform exaggerated moves.]

Dumbledore: (smirking) You’ll have to do better than that, Tom!

Voldemort: (flustered) No one ever takes me seriously!

[The battle devolves into a humorous free-for-all, with students dodging rubber chickens and inflatable hammers. Dumbledore summons a rain of confetti.]

[The Great Hall is chaotic with victory. Colorful confetti and random objects rain down as Harry, Hermione, and Ron gather, grinning.]

Harry (wearing a cardboard wizard hat): We did it, guys! We saved Garry's Modwarts!

Hermione: And I finally mastered the Physgun Spell! Just think of the possibilities!

Ron (holding bananas): And I turned all the bananas into gold! Well, they look golden!

[They laugh, dancing as more confetti falls. Nearby students join in, creating a mini celebration.]

Neville: (giggling) I think we should have a banana-themed feast!

Ginny: (smirking) Only if Hagrid promises not to bring his flying bathtub!

[As the celebration continues, Hagrid appears, soaking wet but grinning.]

Hagrid: Who wants a ride on my new flying bathtub?

[The camera pans out to reveal the whimsical Garry's Mod logo. The Great Hall is filled with joy and friendship.]

Narrator: And so, in the wacky world of Garry's Mod, where the laws of logic and physics are mere suggestions, our heroes triumphed over absurdity, proving that laughter is the best magic of all. Remember, folks, in this realm, the only limit is your imagination!

[As the scene fades, students make silly faces and pose for an imaginary group photo, while random objects rain down, including rubber chickens and sparkly confetti.]

[End credits roll, accompanied by a comical Garry's Mod version of the Harry Potter theme music, leaving the audience in fits of giggles.]

---

BOOM! BUILD A TOWER, THEN BLOW IT SKY-HIGH! 💥
PROP PHYSICS CHAOS? YEAH, THAT’S MY GUY! 🤘
SPAWN A THRUSTER, MAKE IT SCREAM! 🚀
WEAPONIZED TOILETS? IT’S A DREAM! 🚽
GAIGE SAYS: "ANARCHY REIGNS IN THIS WORLD UNREAL!" 🛠️
MR. TORGUE YELLS: "HOW DOES PURE MAYHEM FEEL?!" 💣