Rating: ★★★★★

If you're looking for a game that will give you the heebie-jeebies while simultaneously making you question the laws of physics (specifically, boob physics), then look no further than Resident Evil 8! This game is a rollercoaster ride through a nightmare-inducing village filled with monsters, mysteries, and, of course, some seriously impressive assets.

Let's start with the graphics – wowza! Resident Evil 8 boasts some of the most stunning visuals in gaming history. From the eerie mist that hangs over the village to the grotesque details of the monsters, every pixel is a masterpiece. But let's be real here, the real MVP of the graphics department is undoubtedly the, ahem, "character models." Let's just say that if you're into... um, ample assets, you won't be disappointed. Those polygons have never looked so... perky.

But it's not all about the eye candy (though it certainly helps distract you from the terror). The story is a blast to play through, filled with twists, turns, and enough scares to make you jump out of your seat – and possibly knock over your snacks in the process. From uncovering the secrets of the mysterious village to facing off against some truly terrifying bosses, every moment is a thrill ride.

Of course, we can't talk about Resident Evil 8 without addressing the elephant in the room (or should I say, the elephants). Yes, the character designs in this game are, shall we say, generously proportioned. It's like the developers took one look at the script and said, "You know what this game needs? More... assets." And hey, who are we to argue? It's not every day you see a survival horror game where the biggest threat isn't the monsters, but the risk of getting smothered by some seriously big... distractions.

In conclusion, Resident Evil 8 is a must-play for any fan of the series – or anyone looking for a good scare and a few laughs along the way. With stunning graphics, a gripping story, and some seriously impressive... character development, it's an experience you won't soon forget. Just be sure to keep your eyes on the screen – and try not to get too distracted by the, uh, scenery.