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gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh ♥♥♥♥, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
1 box Betty Crocker™ Super Moist™ yellow or devil's food cake mix
1 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs
2 containers Betty Crocker™ Rich & Creamy vanilla frosting
Red, yellow, blue and green food colors
1 container Betty Crocker™ Rich & Creamy chocolate frosting
Assorted colors licorice twists
Gumdrops
2 chocolate-covered caramel candies
2 Oreo chocolate creme sandwich cookies, crumbled
Gummy or jellied candy rings
Assorted candies (gumdrops, jelly beans, candy corn, etc.)