When I was one, I swam the English Channel
When I was two, I ate a soapy flannel
When I was three, I started getting thinner
When I was four, I ate the dog's dinner
When I was five, I was in a band playing drums
When I was six, I ate a bag of plums
When I was seven, I robbed a bank with my sister
When I was eight, I became prime minister
When I was nine, I closed all the schools
When I was ten, they made me king of the fools