Coffee Maker. A normal coffee maker like you'd see in someone's house. Its down special brews coffee, gradually filling its pot & temporarily making the pot hotter. Having more coffee in the pot (or currently brewing) makes it heavier & makes some of its moves stronger but also lowers its movement speed.

Its strongs are very strong splash moves but they cost a lot of coffee & permanently make the enemy slightly faster if they land. Also, the music speeds up. The strongs are stronger when the pot is hotter.

You can lay the pot as a trap that breaks if hit too much but can potentially hurt you. Anyone caught in the explosion is set on fire. Coffee Maker is faster when the pot is out but is also lighter & can't use any moves involving the pot. If the pot breaks, it immediately respawns inside Coffee Maker but all coffee in it is lost.

If you parry your own exploding pot, you temporarily become wet, allowing you to slide while brewing or charging strongs. You also gain a permanent speed boost based on the amount of coffee & creamer that were in the pot. You can also do sliding charges when standing in the temporary puddle left by an exploding pot.

Anyone who stands in the puddle for too long is set on fire. Standing in the puddle left by a parried pot explosion decreases the heat meter & extinguishes fire. Hitting the puddle with hot attacks heats it up.

You can speed yourself up gradually by adding creamer to the brew but that also increases the speed boost the enemy gets if a strong hits them. The speed boost you get from creamer gradually fades after you spend any creamer-infused coffee.

The pot trap is weaker if it contains creamer & the speed boost from creamer gradually decreases when the pot is out. Too much creamer stops it from setting anyone on fire. If you have creamer, landing coffee attacks on a burning enemy makes the fire extinguish faster in proportion to how much creamer you have & how much coffee the attack costs.

Maybe for the sake of balance, you can only add creamer when the pot is full & maybe you lose coffee (and therefore creamer) when you get hit.

You can also brew herbal tea, which increases a sleepy meter on anyone you hit. The fuller it gets, the slower they get. Also, the music slows down. Unlike the speed boosts caused by strongs, this effect is temporary. If the meter is full, the target falls asleep. They sleep longer if they have more damage but being under the effects of coffee & creamer shortens their sleep.

Character weight is also a factor. The meter completely empties when the enemy wakes up. If you put an enemy to sleep in midair, they'll be launched straight up no matter what attack hit them & they won't sleep as long but if they fall to their death while asleep, the sleepy meter will be half full when they respawn.

Coffee Maker has its own sleepy meter that slowly fills when tea is in it so although stockpiling is probably usually a good idea with coffee, it's very dangerous with tea. Landing tea attacks decreases the permanent boost caused by any coffee attacks you landed before. Being on fire gradually drains the sleepy meter.

If you have no coffee & you have more creamer than tea, your tea attacks will still fill the enemy's sleepy meter but it'll have no apparent effect & the creamer will still speed them up. However, if you completely fill someone's sleepy meter via this method, they get a massive sugar crash & die instantly.

The same thing will happen to you if you let your own sleepy meter fill by carrying that mixture for too long.

Coffee or tea is chosen by taunting & you can change midbrew by taunting while brewing. The color of coffee gets lighter as creamer is added & tea has a green scent coming off it so its always easy to tell what's in the pot. Creamer doesn't have to be brewed. You just pour it straight into the pot.

Side special throws the pot like a boomerang for rapid hits & drags the enemy back to Coffee Maker. A hotter pot = a stronger side special.

Villager can pocket the pot (during Coffee Maker's side special) for as long as he wants as long as he doesn't die or get hit too much but as long as he has it, it hurts him based on how hot it is & fills his sleep meter based on how much tea is in it. It also makes him heavier & slower based on how full it is. The damage caused by heat can be slowed down by standing in the puddle left by a parried pot explosion.

If Tenshi uses her down special to counter Coffee Maker's side special, she teleports behind Coffee Maker & splashes a pot of coffee on its back. This has no functional difference but makes me laugh.

Coffee Maker's victory music is Caffeine by Jeff Williams & Casey Lee Williams, feat. Lamar Hall. The entire song. Or at least the part from 0:39-1:08.