Recent reviews by Bubbles

Award = You're put on the list to adopt this cute lil kitten
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Funny Vote = You give kitty tuna
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　＼二つ

I captured all Dark Pals and got banned from a server for racism

10/10

Ah, Football Manager 2024, or as I like to call it, "The Relationship Tester." You see, while you're trying to build your dream squad and master the transfer market, your significant other might wonder if you're still part of their real-life squad. But hey, the game has it all!

First off, let's talk about the new ball physics. It's like watching a game of pinball on a bumpy table. The ball bounces around like it's on a sugar rush, and you're left wondering if you're playing football or dodgeball.

But wait, there's more! You can import your career from Football Manager 2023. It's like time travel for football geeks. Who cares about real-life transfers when you can continue your virtual football dynasty?

Now, the Set Piece Creator. It's not just a game; it's a masterclass in tactical board games. You can outsmart your opponents with your set-piece wizardry. It's like playing chess, but with corner kicks and throw-ins.

And what's this about Intermediaries? They're like the middlemen of the football world, helping you get rid of dead-weight players. It's as if football agents and used car salesmen teamed up to redefine the transfer market.

Then there's the Match Engine. It's so immersive that you'll feel like you're watching a real football match. It's like sitting in the stands, but without the overpriced stadium food and that one guy who can't stop shouting at the referee.

The two new game modes, Real World and Your World, add a twist to your career. It's like choosing between a real-time strategy game and an alternate history novel.

So, Football Manager 2024 isn't just a game; it's a commitment. It's about building your dream squad, dominating from set-pieces, and making sure your partner doesn't trade you for a better player. If you're a football fanatic with some free time and a healthy relationship, this game is for you.

Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your helmets and tighten your bootstraps because Orcs Must Die 2 is here to make your day funnier and more orc-infested than ever before!

In this game, you're not just a player; you're an orc-slaying virtuoso, defending fortresses and rifts with a ferocity only rivaled by a caffeine-addicted squirrel on an espresso binge.

The customization options are as diverse as a buffet of your favorite foods, but instead of flavors, you get an arsenal of traps and weapons. It's like choosing your favorite ice cream topping, but in this case, it's between scorching orcs with fire, electrocuting them, or shooting them from a distance. Yum!

But it's not all about setting up traps; you'll be in the thick of it, wielding crossbows, blunderbusses, and magic spells. It's like going to a Renaissance fair, but instead of jousting, you're fighting off waves of orcs in the funniest medieval comedy act ever.

The humor in Orcs Must Die 2 comes from the sheer absurdity of it all. Imagine sending orcs sky-high with spring traps, only to watch them fall and get hit by rolling log traps. It's like an orc-themed slapstick comedy show.

So, whether you're soloing it like a lone hero, or you've brought a friend along for the orc-slaying shenanigans, Orcs Must Die 2 is the game that proves, once and for all, that the best defense against an orc horde is a well-placed wall of sharp, pointy things.

[Scene: You and a friend, armed to the teeth with traps and weapons, standing before an impending horde of orcs.]

Character 1: (grinning) Welcome to Orcs Must Die 3, where the only thing dying more than orcs are my precious traps.

Character 2: (nodding) That's right, and we're the orc-slaying dream team, armed with ingenuity, strategy, and a mountain of steel.

[You set up a line of traps.]

Character 1: (explaining) See, it's like a twisted game of chess, but with orcs, and instead of pawns, we have spike traps and swinging maces.

Character 2: (raising an eyebrow) Oh, and did I mention we can use magic? It's like Harry Potter grew up, ditched the wand, and started flinging spells at orcs.

[You both watch as orcs stumble into your traps.]

Character 1: (cheering) Score! It's like a demented carnival, and the orcs are the unfortunate clowns.

Character 2: (laughing) And the best part? It's co-op. We're like Batman and Robin, but instead of saving Gotham, we're defending our rift.

[You pretend to high-five.]

Character 1: (grinning) It's like having a blast, even when being overrun by orcs. They just keep coming!

Character 2: (determined) But with teamwork and a heap of creativity, we can overcome any orc invasion. Or at least give them a run for their money.

[The scene continues with the two of you battling waves of orcs and cackling with glee as your traps mow them down.]

[End scene with victorious laughter and a pile of defeated orcs.]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up and behold the marvel that is Path of Exile! It's not just a game; it's a complex web of character customization that'll leave you questioning your life choices.

In Path of Exile, you're not just a player; you're an exile, a mighty warrior cast away on the forsaken continent of Wraeclast. It's like a bad vacation that involves a lot of monster-slaying and loot-grabbing.

The customization here is like building a sandwich with a thousand toppings. The skill tree? It's a behemoth, a labyrinth of choices that would make even the most decisive person second-guess themselves. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded while juggling flaming swords.

But it's not all about customizing your character; you'll be knee-deep in action, slashing, casting, and summoning your way through hordes of horrifying creatures. It's like starring in your own epic fantasy movie, only the monsters didn't get the memo that you're the hero.

The humor in Path of Exile comes from the sheer complexity of it all. It's like ordering a cup of coffee and receiving a 300-page manual on how to brew it. You'll spend hours researching builds and trying not to accidentally ruin your character with one wrong click.

So, whether you're up for a challenge that's more complicated than deciphering hieroglyphics or you enjoy drowning in a sea of items and skill gems, Path of Exile is the game for you. Just remember, in Wraeclast, you're not an exile; you're a warrior on an eternal quest to understand the skill tree.

[Scene: You find yourself in a dimly lit, haunted house, clutching a flashlight and a spirit box.]

Character 1: (whispering) Hey, did you hear about Phasmophobia? It's like Ghostbusters, but with fewer proton packs and way more screaming.

Character 2: (nervously) Right, we're ghost hunters, armed with the power of technology, or in my case, a camera and a pair of shaky knees.

[You pretend to activate a spirit box.]

Character 1: (intoning) Are there any spirits here with us?

[You hear a faint knock from the spirit box.]

Character 2: (shivering) Did you hear that? It's like playing hide and seek with Casper's scarier cousins.

[You take out a camera and snap a photo.]

Character 1: (excited) Got a picture! We're professionals, even though we scream like amateurs.

Character 2: (whispering) It's not just ghosts; you'll deal with everything from freezing temperatures to creepy dolls. It's like playing every horror movie trope rolled into one.

[You pretend to hear footsteps.]

Character 1: (nervously) Did you hear that? We're not alone!

[You both run out of the haunted house, panting.]

Character 2: (breathless) Phasmophobia - it's the game that turns ghost hunting into a cardio workout. It's like going to the gym, but with a higher chance of paranormal encounters.

Character 1: (relieved) And the best part? You can play with friends, so they can laugh at your terrified screams while trying to capture evidence of the supernatural.

[End scene, with the two of you safely outside the haunted house, laughing and catching your breath.]

Well, well, well, look who's back for another round of brain-bending puzzles and passive-aggressive AI banter in Portal 2! This game is the epitome of "I can't believe I just did that" moments, and it's more fun than an endless loop of cat videos.

In Portal 2, you're not just a player; you're Chell, the silent test subject caught in an underground labyrinth of insane science experiments, guided (or rather, taunted) by GLaDOS, the AI with a penchant for dark humor and a disdain for your intelligence. It's like being stuck in an escape room, but the room is a vast underground facility, and the host is a homicidal AI.

The customization in this game is all about portals, baby! You get a fancy portal gun that can create linked wormholes to solve puzzles, and it's like having a magic wand that bends the laws of physics. Just remember, with great power comes great potential for plummeting into endless pits.

But it's not all about shooting portals; you'll be navigating test chambers filled with traps, lasers, and various deadly gadgets, all while GLaDOS offers you condescending "encouragement." It's like an advanced physics course with a side of stand-up comedy, minus the graduation ceremony.

The humor in Portal 2 is the star of the show. GLaDOS's sarcastic remarks and Wheatley's lovable incompetence are the real puzzles to solve. It's like a comedy roast, where the only way to win is to survive the barrage of insults while maintaining your sanity.

In conclusion, Portal 2 is the game that makes you laugh, think, and wonder why you ever thought with portals in the first place. So, put on your trusty long-fall boots, grab your portal gun, and get ready to have a blast, both figuratively and possibly quite literally.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and inmates of all ages, welcome to Prison Architect! This game is more than just orange jumpsuits and barbed wire; it's like managing a resort for the criminally inclined, except without the sunscreen and beach balls.

In Prison Architect, you're not just a player; you're the warden, the mastermind, the puppeteer pulling the strings of your very own correctional facility. It's like being the conductor of a criminal symphony, where the instruments are more likely to be contraband than violins.

The customization in this game is as vast as the number of excuses inmates will give you for "losing" their cell keys. You can design, build, and run your prison, from the layout of the cells to the menu at the canteen. It's like being an interior decorator, except your clients are all behind bars.

But it's not all about designing the perfect prison; you'll have to manage the quirkiest collection of inmates since the last gathering of supervillains. It's like herding cats, if the cats had shivs and a penchant for starting riots.

The humor in Prison Architect comes from the ridiculous situations you'll find yourself in. Whether you're dealing with escape tunnels, inmates starting a gardening club, or the seemingly endless stream of prisoners who have "accidentally" flooded their cells, there's never a dull moment behind these bars.

So, whether you want to create the most secure correctional facility known to mankind or just watch the chaos unfold, Prison Architect is the game for you. After all, what could possibly go wrong when you're in charge of a maximum-security prison?

[Scene: You find yourself adrift on a tiny wooden raft, surrounded by an endless sea.]

Character: Ahoy, there! Welcome to the wonderful world of Raft, a game that teaches you that being stranded in the middle of the ocean is only fun if you have a shopping list for survival items!

[You pretend to paddle with your hands.]

Character: In Raft, you're not just a player; you're a castaway extraordinaire, drifting aimlessly with nothing but a hook, a plastic cup, and a stubborn will to survive. It's like playing the real-life version of "Survivor," except there's no million-dollar prize waiting for you.

[You pantomime the struggle of trying to catch a drifting piece of plastic.]

Character: The customization here is as limited as the room on your raft. You can build, expand, and decorate your wooden sanctuary like it's a luxury cruise ship. Just don't expect a spa or a buffet; it's more like a glorified pool floatie.

[You mime hammering and sawing, trying to build a shelter on your tiny raft.]

Character: But it's not all about the crafting. You'll be constantly hungry, thirsty, and in danger of becoming shark bait. It's like a never-ending survival game where the ocean keeps serving you seafood, whether you like it or not.

[You pretend to munch on an imaginary fish.]

Character: The humor in Raft comes from the absurdity of your situation. As you collect drifting debris, you'll often wonder if you're the unluckiest sailor in history, navigating an ocean filled with trash.

[You shake your fist at the imaginary ocean.]

Character: So, whether you want to see how long you can survive with a hook, a dream, and the world's most persistent shark, or you just enjoy the challenge of turning garbage into a floating fortress, jump aboard Raft, and embark on the aquatic adventure of a lifetime!

[You raise an imaginary flag on your tiny raft.]

[End scene.]