My brother masturbates in the shower often and whenever he does it clogs up the drain. His ♥♥♥ is really thick and it's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ difficult to get rid of unless you pick up the filter with your hand and it smells so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. So either I a pick up the drain and have me fingers touch his sperm or I just take a shower anyways and the water cant go down the drain so water diluted with my brothers sperm is covering my feet. Yeah and I can't tell him unless I want to get in an awkward af conversation about is ♥♥♥ and him masturbating.

He also has huge ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ that clog the toilet and never checks if the toilet is clogged after he flushes. And even if he did, he doesn't try to unclog with the toilet with the plunger ever so my dad has to do it. A couple times the pipes were leaking or something because there was water dripping in the living room (which is right above the bathroom) because of his fat ♥♥♥♥♥.

+rep funny guy

Today, I was lifting an old carpet, as we have a damp problem. Underneath there were hundreds of slugs and worms. My wife and I picked up about 40 slugs and put them in a pair of my wife's panties. I then put the panties on. The feeling was amazing. I got a huge erection and I could feel them sliding over my glans, and round my balls. Eventually I could feel one going up my bum. I knew I would come soon, so I let my wife tie me up, with my hands and feet speadeagled and attached to some furniture. She then took the panties down and about 15 of the slugs were crawling over my ♥♥♥♥ and balls. I came, spurting out loads of ♥♥♥ all over the poor things, but still couldn't move.

My wife then took the other slugs out of the panties and placed them on my ♥♥♥♥. She was careful to put some of them right on the opening of my ♥♥♥♥, which was now covered in a mixture of sperm and glistening goo from the slugs. She opened up my arse and tried to put one in there too. I got hard again quite quickly as I thought of these slimy little things crawling over me. I imagined them biting me. One seemed to be trying to enter my uretha and this caused me to come again. That was 4 hurs ago. My ♥♥♥♥ is now very itchy, but I am about to give them another "feed".

🏠🏠🏠up on the housetop reindeer ♥♥♥♥♥ 🐴🐴🐴🍆🍆out whips Santa's 🎅🏿🎅🏿 big ol ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍆ready to shower all his thotties 💦💦💦🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼 with some REAL Christmas cheer 🎄🎄♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🎁 open that chimney wide for old saint ♥♥♥♥♨️♨️♨️🆘🆘🚿🚿🚿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿 so he can give u some milk 🍼🍼🍼🍼 for those cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍆🍆send to 5️⃣ of ur thottiest elf HOES 🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼👯👯 or santas ♥♥♥♥ will NOT b happy 🎅🏿🍆🙅🏼🙅🏼🍆send to 🔟 slutty gingerbread men🍪🍒🍆 and receive ➡️➡️ a REAL gift in that stocking ⛸⛸⛸🎄🎄 like a big 🍆 ol 🎄 ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍒🍒🙆🏼 send to 1️⃣5️⃣ and santa's christmas pole 💈💈💈 will unload 💦💦 allll over your tree🎄🎄🎄🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦🙆🏼🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅

When the cops arrive
They pull the trigger
You guessed it right
I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥♥