My brother masturbates in the shower often and whenever he does it clogs up the drain. His ♥♥♥ is really thick and it's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ difficult to get rid of unless you pick up the filter with your hand and it smells so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. So either I a pick up the drain and have me fingers touch his sperm or I just take a shower anyways and the water cant go down the drain so water diluted with my brothers sperm is covering my feet. Yeah and I can't tell him unless I want to get in an awkward af conversation about is ♥♥♥ and him masturbating.

He also has huge ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ that clog the toilet and never checks if the toilet is clogged after he flushes. And even if he did, he doesn't try to unclog with the toilet with the plunger ever so my dad has to do it. A couple times the pipes were leaking or something because there was water dripping in the living room (which is right above the bathroom) because of his fat ♥♥♥♥♥.

+rep funny guy

Today, I was lifting an old carpet, as we have a damp problem. Underneath there were hundreds of slugs and worms. My wife and I picked up about 40 slugs and put them in a pair of my wife's panties. I then put the panties on. The feeling was amazing. I got a huge erection and I could feel them sliding over my glans, and round my balls. Eventually I could feel one going up my bum. I knew I would come soon, so I let my wife tie me up, with my hands and feet speadeagled and attached to some furniture. She then took the panties down and about 15 of the slugs were crawling over my ♥♥♥♥ and balls. I came, spurting out loads of ♥♥♥ all over the poor things, but still couldn't move.

My wife then took the other slugs out of the panties and placed them on my ♥♥♥♥. She was careful to put some of them right on the opening of my ♥♥♥♥, which was now covered in a mixture of sperm and glistening goo from the slugs. She opened up my arse and tried to put one in there too. I got hard again quite quickly as I thought of these slimy little things crawling over me. I imagined them biting me. One seemed to be trying to enter my uretha and this caused me to come again. That was 4 hurs ago. My ♥♥♥♥ is now very itchy, but I am about to give them another "feed".

🏠🏠🏠up on the housetop reindeer ♥♥♥♥♥ 🐴🐴🐴🍆🍆out whips Santa's 🎅🏿🎅🏿 big ol ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍆ready to shower all his thotties 💦💦💦🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼 with some REAL Christmas cheer 🎄🎄♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🎁 open that chimney wide for old saint ♥♥♥♥♨️♨️♨️🆘🆘🚿🚿🚿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿 so he can give u some milk 🍼🍼🍼🍼 for those cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍆🍆send to 5️⃣ of ur thottiest elf HOES 🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼👯👯 or santas ♥♥♥♥ will NOT b happy 🎅🏿🍆🙅🏼🙅🏼🍆send to 🔟 slutty gingerbread men🍪🍒🍆 and receive ➡️➡️ a REAL gift in that stocking ⛸⛸⛸🎄🎄 like a big 🍆 ol 🎄 ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍒🍒🙆🏼 send to 1️⃣5️⃣ and santa's christmas pole 💈💈💈 will unload 💦💦 allll over your tree🎄🎄🎄🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦🙆🏼🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅

When the cops arrive
They pull the trigger
You guessed it right
I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥♥

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▉▉◤┳┃┈╰━╯┈┃┳◥▉▉most MLG m80s you know or you
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i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans

Dear Silver 1

𝒞𝓎𝓀𝒶 ℬ𝓁𝓎𝒶𝓉. Please go die in a hole with your M4A1|Urban DDPAT.

Sincerely,
Gabe Logan Newell

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝♥♥♥♥♥♥♥☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮♥♥♥♥🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯.

✋that✋is✋six✋♥♥♥♥♥♥♥✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the ♥♥♥♥♥🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌♥♥♥♥♥♥👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should ♥♥♥🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. 9/11 WAS A LIE. THERE WERE NO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. THERE WAS NO AIRPLANE. IN TRUTH I WAS VISITING THE BIG APPLE, SO AS TO COMPARE MY GARGANTUAN MEAT TRAIN TO IT AND LAUGH AT THE GASPING NEW YORKERS AS I POUNDED THEIR BELOVED NAMESAKE INTO BIG APPLE SAUCE. HAVING NOT GOTTEN RELEASE FROM MY CULINARY EXERCISE, I MEANDERED DOWN THE STREET WITH MY VITAL BLOOD ENGORGED SEWER PIPE OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A BLIND MAN'S CANE, LOOKING FOR A HOLE IN THE BACKSIDE OF A WOMAN WHICH I WOULD STRETCH BEYOND HUMAN LIMITS. I SPOTTED AT THAT VERY MOMENT AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN A MINISKIRT WAVING AT ME. I SLAPPED HER TO THE GROUND WITH MY ENORMOUS PHALLUS AND QUICKLY RAVISHED HER SKIRT LIKE A STARVED DOG ON A BABY MADE OF STEAK. THE SIGHT THAT AWAITED BOTH SHOCKED AND ENRAGED ME.

AFTER SEEING THIS "WOMAN'S" RAISIN-SIZED WINKY WINKLER, I VOMITED DOWN HIS THROAT AND PENETRATED HIS ESOPHAGUS, RIPPED OUT HIS SPINE AND PEELED HIS CORPSE FROM MY MONEYMAKER. TO TEACH ALL OF NEW YORK A LESSON FOR LETTING THIS FLAMING ♥♥♥ BAG LIVE, I LET LOOSE A SEMENAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS UPON THE TOWERS OF TWO (AT WHOM'S SMALL SIZE I LAUGHED LIKE A CLOWN RAPING AN 8 YEAR OLD), WHICH CAUSED THEM TO COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE ME AFTER A WEEKEND METH BINGE. I MOCKED THE NEW YORKERS AND MADE ♥♥♥♥♥♥ JOKES AS THEY RAN FROM MY EVER EXPANDING CLOUD OF SPERMAZOA, MASTURBATING TO THE LOOKS OF HORROR ON THEIR FACES.

THE GOVERNMENT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE AND BECAUSE THEY HATE ARABS MORE THAN JEWS, PAINTED A BOEING 767 ON MY GIGANTIC ♥♥♥♥ AND CALLED IT A TERRORIST ATTACK. THE FEELING OF PAINTBRUSHES ON MY ♥♥♥♥ MADE ME COME AGAIN, AND PRESIDENT BUSH SNORTED UP EVERY LAST DROP BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS COKE. SUDDENLY, HE CRIED OUT, "WHAT'S THAT AMAZING SMELL?" THEN A GROSSLY OBESE NEGRO POPPED OUT FROM BEHIND THE BURNING, TWISTED WRECKAGE OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTERS AND QUIPPED, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINE-SOL!" DISPLEASED AT HER INTERRUPTION OF MY DEVASTATING SODOMY CONQUEST, YET SIMULTANEOUSLY ODDLY AROUSED BY A SUB-HUMANS DEFIANCE IN THE FACE OF MY TITANIC MEAT MONOLITH, I GRABBED THE NEGRESS BY HER ARMS AND INSERTED MY BATTLE CRUISER OF PASSION INTO THE ROILING WAVES OF FAT WHICH OBSCURED HER VAGINAL CLEFT.

SHE SCREAMED INDECHIPHERABLY IN EBONICS, SO TO SHUT HER UP I POURED ALL THE CONTENTS OF THE PINE-SOL BOTTLE DOWN HER THROAT. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CHEMICALS IN THE LIQUID COMBINED WITH MY UNEARTHLY SUPER-SEMEN TO FORM A HIGHLY UNSTABLE AND EXPLOSIVE MIXTURE OF PURE POWER. JUST BEFORE THE FAT NEGRESS BLEW APART AS A RESULT OF THE INCREDIBLE CHEMICAL REACTION, MY MOTHER GOT SCARED AND SAID, "YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR." I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR, THE LICENSE PLATE SAID 'FRESH' AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR. IF ANYTHING I COULD SAY THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE, BUT I THOUGHT, 'NAH, FORGET IT, YOU HOLMES, TO BEL-AIR!" I PULLED UP TO THE HOUSE ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT AND I YELLED TO THE CABBY, YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER!"

I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE, TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR. ONCE I ENTERED MY NEW, PALATIAL ABODE (ALMOST, BUT NOT QUITE, WORTHY OF MY INCALCULABLY HUGE MEAT MISSILE) I IMMEDIATELY SWEPT MY NEW FOSTER PARENTS ASIDE AND HEADED FOR THE ROOM OF THEIR YOUNG NIECE. YOU SEE, I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES RUBBING A TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL'S BARE CHEST. "HOW?" YOU ASK. WELL APPARENTLY THERE ARE A SELECT FEW CONTEXTS WITHIN WHICH SUCH AN ACTION IS ACCEPTABLE. FOR INSTANCE, IF YOUR NIECE HAS A HACKING COUGH AND YOUR SISTER ASKS YOU TO "PUT SOME OF THIS ON HER" WHILE SHE CALLS THE DOCTOR.

"PUTTING SOME OF THIS ON HEAR" MEANT USING MY BARE HANDS TO RUB THIS VAPOR OINTMENT ♥♥♥♥ ALL OVER HER BARE NAKED CHEST. MY HEARTBEAT IS STILL ALL ERRATIC FROM IT. I HAD A BONER THE SIZE OF MANHATTAN THE ENTIRE TIME. SHE'S SLEEPING NOW AND I GUESS SHE FEELS BETTER BECAUSE SHE STOPPED COUGHING.

DETAILS: SHE'S ABOUT 5 FEET TALL, HAS LONG BROWN HAIR, A CUTE FACE, A THIN WAIST AND LONG SKINNY LEGS. SHE'S IN JAMMIES I THINK BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I'M PRETTY SHAKEN UP RIGHT NOW I KNOW I UNBUTTONED SOMETHING BEFORE I WENT AT IT.

GOD I FEEL SO GREAT. I JUST RUBBED MY HANDS LAL OVER HER ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TITS, YOU GUYS. WELL THE PUFFY PARTS OF HER CHEST ANYWAY. HER NIPPLES GOT HARD. I JUST ABOUT WEPT TEARS OF JOY. OBVIOUSLY, THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS IN THIS UNIVERSE WHICH CAN BRING ME TO SUCH A STATE, AND COMBINED WITH MY INCREDIBLE STATE OF AROUSAL, I WAS UNABLE TO HOLD BACK THE STORM BREWING IN MY COLOSSAL PUDDING BLASTER. MY STEAMING-HOT SILVER LAVA BLASTED OUT FURIOUSLY, INSTANTLY KILLING MY UNFORTUNATE YOUNG COUSIN AND REDUCING MY NEW HOME TO BLASTED BITS AND PIECES OF WOODEN DETRITUS. I GUARANTEE IT.

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii ♥♥♥♥. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored live and rubbed it all over is head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise.

The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

I WILL FIGHT ANY ♥♥♥♥♥

THAT ♥♥♥♥♥ WITH U.

NOW SEND THIS

TO EVERYONE WHOSE

BACK U GOT

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💯💯♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GOFD 😂😂😂 DUDE 👌i AM 👉LITERALLY👈 iN 😂TEARS😂 RIGHT NOW BRo 👆👇👉👈 hHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ✌️👌👍 TAHT WA SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥ G FUNNY DUd 💧💧😅😂💦💧I cAN NOT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BELIEV how 💯FUNny 👌👍💯thta ♥♥♥♥ wa s 👀👍😆😂😂😅 I 👦 CAN NOT ❌ bRATHE 👃👄👃👄❌❌ / HELP ❗️I NEEd 👉👉 AN a m b u l a n c e🚑🚑 SSSooOOoo00000oOOOOOøøøØØØØØ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FUNY ✔️☑️💯💯1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣😆😆😂😂😅 ♥♥♥♥ man ❕💯💯🔥☝️👌damn

🏠🏠🏠up on the housetop reindeer ♥♥♥♥♥ 🐴🐴🐴🍆🍆out whips Santa's 🎅🏿🎅🏿 big ol ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍆ready to shower all his thotties 💦💦💦🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼 with some REAL Christmas cheer 🎄🎄♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🎁 open that chimney wide for old saint ♥♥♥♥♨️♨️♨️🆘🆘🚿🚿🚿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿 so he can give u some milk 🍼🍼🍼🍼 for those cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍆🍆send to 5️⃣ of ur thottiest elf HOES 🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼👯👯 or santas ♥♥♥♥ will NOT b happy 🎅🏿🍆🙅🏼🙅🏼🍆send to 🔟 slutty gingerbread men🍪🍒🍆 and receive ➡️➡️ a REAL gift in that stocking ⛸⛸⛸🎄🎄 like a big 🍆 ol 🎄 ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍒🍒🙆🏼 send to 1️⃣5️⃣ and santa's christmas pole 💈💈💈 will unload 💦💦 allll over your tree🎄🎄🎄🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦🙆🏼🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅