Look-out Post Pirate: Dinghy ahoy. Dinghy off the port bow. Dinghy off the port bow! One Pirate: Dinghy off the port bow! Pirates: Dinghy off the port bow! Other Pirate: Captain, dinghy off the... Captain: Dinghy. Pirate Formerly on the Dinghy: I got it! I got it. Captain: Where is it? Pirate Formerly on the Dinghy: It's right here, captain. Captain: I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie! Pirates: ♪Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants. Absorbent and yellow and porous is he? SpongeBob SquarePants. If nautical nonsense be something you wish? SpongeBob SquarePants. Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish? SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. Sponge-Bob Square-Pants. SpongeBob SquarePants. Sponge-Bob Square-Pants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. Sponge-Bob Square-Pants!♪ French Narrator: Ah, the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So, uhh... wet. Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery, the Krusty Krab restaurant, where... Police: Back off! Back off! French Narrator: Hey, wait a minute. What is happening? Mr. Krabs: Please settle down... We've got a situation in there! I'd rather not discuss 'til me manager gets here! Female Fish: Look, there he is! SpongeBob: Talk to me, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Oh, it started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, no cheese! SpongeBob: Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm going in. Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be just fine. Phil: I'm really scared here, man.... SpongeBob: You got a name? Phil: Phil. SpongeBob: You got a family, Phil? Come on, Phil, stay with me. Let's hear about that family. Phil: I got a wife and two beautiful children. SpongeBob: That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil. Phil: What? SpongeBob: Say "cheese." Order up. All: Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip! SpongeBob: Hooray! Gary, I had that dream again! And it’s finally going to come true! Today! Sorry about this calendar. Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: Who's it gonna be, Gary? Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards. SpongeBob E.O.T.M Awards: SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob: I'm ready. Promotion. Cleanliness is next to manager-liness. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. Squidward: ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da dee, la da doo, la da dum.♪ Squidward and SpongeBob: ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da d...♪ Squidward: Huh? SpongeBob: ♪...ee, la da doo, la da dum, Bum Bum Bum, Da da da...♪ Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing in here?! SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward. Squidward: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work? SpongeBob: There's no shower at work. Squidward: What do you want?! SpongeBob: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today. Squidward: Get out! SpongeBob: Okay. I'll see you at the ceremony. Patrick: That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2. Oops. Hold on. Congratulations, buddy. SpongeBob: Oh, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're purple. Patrick: I love bein’ purple! SpongeBob: We're going to the place where all the action is. Patrick: You don't mean...? SpongeBob: Oh, I mean. SpongeBob and Patrick: Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat! SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪ SpongeBob: I'd better get going! I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. Patrick: Good luck, SpongeBob. Hey, look for me at the ceremony. I got a little surprise for you. ♪I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah.♪ Perch Perkins: Hello, Bikini Bottom! Perch Perkins here, comin’ to ya live from in front of The Krusty Krab restaurant, for years the only place to get a delicious and mouthwatering Krabby Patty. Until today, that is. That's right, folks. Longtime owner Mr. Krabs is opening a new restaurant called The Krusty Krab 2. First of all, congratulations, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Hello. I like money. Perch Perkins: What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab right next door to the original? Mr. Krabs: Money. Plankton: Curses! It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one customer! Karen: Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors. Plankton: Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet...from A to Y. Karen: A to Y? Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet. Karen: What about Z? Plankton: Z? Karen: Z. The letter after Y. Plankton: W, X, Y, Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said. Karen: Oh, boy. Plankton: Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail! So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, and I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank...! Ow! SpongeBob: I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion! Plankton: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! SpongeBob: Eww, I think I stepped in something. Plankton: Not in something, on someone, ya twit! SpongeBob: Oh. Sorry, Plankton. Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony? Plankton: No, I am not on my way over to the grand-opening ceremony. I'm busy planning to rule the world! SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion... Plankton: Stupid kid. Mr. Krabs: Welcome. Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of The Krusty Krab 2. Mrs. Puff: We paid $9 for this? Sandy: I paid 10! Mr. Krabs: Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cuttin’, I'd like to announce the name of our new manager. SpongeBob: Yay! Yeah! Ow! Ow, ow! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah! Ow! Shh! Mr. Krabs: Yes. Well, anyway, the new manager is a loyal, hard-workin’ employee. SpongeBob: Yes. Mr. Krabs: The obvious choice for the job. SpongeBob: He's right. Mr. Krabs: A name you all know. It starts with an S. SpongeBob: That's me. Mr. Krabs: Please welcome our new manager... Squidward Tentacles! SpongeBob: Yes! Yeah! Oh, better luck next time, buddy. Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! All right! Whoo! People of Bikini Bottom, as the manager of... Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Hold the phone, folks, I'm getting an important news flash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K. I'm making a complete what of myself? The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone? Mr. Krabs: Oh, for cryin’ out loud, SpongeBob! Ya didn't get the job! SpongeBob: What? Mr. Krabs: You... did not... get... the job. SpongeBob: But... but why? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're a great fry cook, but I gave the job to Squidward because bein’ manager is a big responsibility. Well, let's face it, he's more... mature than you. SpongeBob: I'm not... mature? Mr. Krabs: Lad, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... now, let's see... Lenny: Dork? Mr. Krabs: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork. Pearl: A goofball? Mr. Krabs: Closer, but no, no, no. Fred: A ding-a-ling. Jimmy: Wing nut. Mable: A Knucklehead McSpazatron! Mr. Krabs: OK, that's enough! Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it "kid-ager." You understand-ager? I mean, you understand? SpongeBob: I guess so, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob: I'm ready. Depression. I'm ready. Depression.