The """"Official"""" fan club for snoops the hacker

Ladies an gentlemen, certain allegations have come to my attention. Some Snoops detractors think I hack in Team Fortress 2 and even that at one point I led a nefarious group known as "The Snoops Crew" which headed a disgusting movement called The Team Fortress Second Reich or commonly communicated as "TF2nd Reich" among the alt-right. Among the most egregious accusations is simply that I am "Hitlers top guy". I am here today to explain myself and prove my innocence using facts and logic.

For my first argument you must simply know a bit of real history. In 1826 French author Anthelme Brillat-Savarin released a legendary work known as "Physiologie du Gout, ou Medetations de Gastronomie Transcendante". Within this work the legendary phrase finds its origin: “Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what your are.” (translated from french). As you might be able to tell this phrase eventually shortened to the golden rule we know in the west, "you are what you eat". This brings me to my second point of this first argument. On February 4th 2006 I kidnapped, killed, and ate a 14 year old child I found running away from home off a freeway near the border of new mexico. This child had none of the features I have been accused of and although their disappearance was never solved, this child also did not commit the act. If you are what you eat and I ate this child then it follows naturally that I retain that same childs innocence.

For my second argument consider this. If the courts find me guilty of the accusations, I will shoot myself in the head using my Walther PPK 7.65 in a bunker on April 30th 1945.