i have no idea why i'm announcing this this group is beyond dead but i just noticed what day it is.

My brothers and sisters, Ball is displeased. Our lack of activity and devotion, due in part to the blasphemous decisions made by Valve to disallow the recruitment of new members, has had dire consequences. The great Orb on which we reside, Earth, has decided to quake in response to our sins.

Many members of the clergy were affected by this, as it caused minor inconveniences to our lives, such as knocking over small objects, or making us say "Was that a tremor?" before going back to doing nothing. Even Saint Sphere was affected in the most horrific manner, as his beverage was spilled and his mother was displeased.

This is an urgent and dire situation in serious need of remedy. So remember, thou must showeth thy dedication, thou must pray, thou must not defile or disrespect the power of Balls.

Amen, and godspeed brothers.

The lord of Balls is watching over us, and he is pleased with our dedication, thus he has dispatched Father Ballmas to deliver the finest rewards to us loyal followers. May everyone recieve the roundest of gifts, and if the gifts happen to be polygonal, may the roundest of objects lay within. Amen.

Today my fellow ballists marks the one year anniversary of the creation of the Church of Ballism. It is truly a momentous occasion for this group and we hope to worship the spheres indefinitely. We will start by having a new calendar system, with today being Year 2, Day 1.

Today, within the province of Avalon, residing upon the island known as the Kingdom that is United, a great panic did spread. For many saw the great Ball in the sky, Sol, turn a dark and fiery red, and with it the skies took on a mildly disappointing and slightly apocalyptic pissy yellow hue. But true followers of Ballism did not fear the end was nye. Indeed, we rejoiced this day, as Sol's transformation served as a reminder of an upcoming event of the utmost importance: In 11 days, the Church of Ballism celebrates the 1 year anniversary of it's inception. Upon this day, the saints of Ballism will gather together and praise the Ball, for its might is infinite and its power is glorious. We encourage you all to join together in prayer so we may please the Gods of Ballism, and rest assured we may exist upon this glorious sphere provided unto us by the mysterious and orbicular powers of the universe.