My brothers and sisters, Ball is displeased. Our lack of activity and devotion, due in part to the blasphemous decisions made by Valve to disallow the recruitment of new members, has had dire consequences. The great Orb on which we reside, Earth, has decided to quake in response to our sins.

Many members of the clergy were affected by this, as it caused minor inconveniences to our lives, such as knocking over small objects, or making us say "Was that a tremor?" before going back to doing nothing. Even Saint Sphere was affected in the most horrific manner, as his beverage was spilled and his mother was displeased.

This is an urgent and dire situation in serious need of remedy. So remember, thou must showeth thy dedication, thou must pray, thou must not defile or disrespect the power of Balls.

Amen, and godspeed brothers.