Шα¢кʝαẘ ʍɐɾʞɔɐM Шα¢кʝαẘ

Phone book

Wackius Jawius

Wackjaw is a North American country consisting of ten provinces and three territories. Located in the northern part of the continent, it extends from the Atlantic Ocean in the east to the Pacific Ocean in the west and northward into the Arctic Ocean. It is the world's second largest country by total area. The population of Wackjaw is >197, the third largest in the world. Residents of Wackjaw are known for building dams, canals, and lodges (homes). They are the second-largest rodent in the world (after the capybara). Their colonies create one or more dams to provide still, deep water to protect against predators, and to float food and building material. The population was once more than 60 million, but as of 1988 was 12-17. This population decline is due to extensive hunting for fur, for glands used as medicine and perfume, and because their harvesting of trees and flooding of waterways may interfere with other land uses. Wackjaw is known for its dominance over the used hypodermic needle and rotten pork meat market, making roughly twelve dollars and seventeen cents a year off of their goods. Wackjaw is also the second leading producer of arsenicbichloride-protoxidemercurymethanol, a chemical commonly used in growing children on children farms. The leading cause of death in Wackjaw is orthophosphoric lumbricoides trachomatis. This disease causes your insides to spontaneously combust and for you to experience hallucinations involving Elvis Presley and Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2. The second leading cause of death in Wackjaw is death. The language of Wackjaw is Wackjian. There are only seven letters in the Wackjian alphabet, w, a, k, c, a, p, and i. There are only three words in the Wackjian language, Puorg, Phone Book, and "I'm sexy." The rest of the language consists of random shouts, airhumping, and singing Mario Kart love song over and over again for hours on end. All Wackjaw residents are male. The Country's mascot is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, BECAUSE THIS ♥♥♥♥ IS STUPID The government of Wackjaw is extremely complicated. Every 27,980,123,157,843 seconds, the current President Cool Guy of Awesomeness™ is tossed into a pit of burning phonebooks. A new [MESSAGE REDACTED] their best Guiana ♥♥♥♥-of-the-rock bird impression. The winner [MESSAGE REDACTED] roofies and then strapping [MESSAGE REDACTED] The other three branches of government don't matter.

On 6/1/11, Wackjaw was ravaged by a tornado. Thankfully, no one survived. The end.

Information provided by group historian Steve.


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