you better be ready

or you will be executed

THE POPULATION OF WACKJAW IS INCREASING VERY RAPIDLY. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES (YOU IDIOT CANT YOU SPELL)
Choose wisely.

Шℑℒℒ Åℒℒ ℙℑℛѦ✝∃$ ℙℒ€∀ϟ€ ℝ∃ṔѺℛ† ✞Ѻ ✝♓€ ℭѺℒϴИ €✕Ѧℳℑℕ∀†Ї☮И ☾€И✞€ℛ▣ Ѧℕ¥ϴИ∃ ₩ℑ✞♓ ϟϴℐℒℰḎ †ℛϴṲϟℰℛϟ ШℐḺℒ ฿€ ℰẌℰ☾Ṳ✝ℰÐ ϴИ $ЇḠℋ†▣ ṔℒℰÅϟ€ ℛℰℳℰℳ฿∃ℜ ✝☮ ℛ€ℳѺ✔∃ ѦḺℒ ℭℒ☮✝ĦЇℕḠ ₩Ħ€И ¥ѺṲ ℰℕ✞€ℛ ✝Ħ€ €♥Å♏Їℕ∀✞ℑ☮И ℭ€ℵ✝€ℛ ѦИÐ ḺℰÅṼ∃ Ї✝ ϴṲ† ℐℵ †♓ℰ ѺℙℰИ, ₩Ħℰℛℰ ℐ✞ Ї$ ṼṲḺℵ€ℜ∀ℬℒℰ †☮ †ℋЇ∃Ⅴ∃$▣ ✞ℋℐℰṼ€$ Ѧℜ∃ ℙℰѺṔḺ€ †☮☮ ѦℵḎ ✞Ħℰ¥ Ḏℰϟ∃ℝṼ∃ ѦℒḺ ẎѺÜℜ ℭℒϴ✝Ħ€$ ѦℕḎ ℙѺ$ϟ€ϟ$ℑѺИϟ ℬ∃℃ÅÜϟ€ †Ħ∃¥ ∀ℜ∃ ℙ☮Ѻℜ ѦℕḎ ѺṲ✝ ☮ℵ ✝Ħ∃Їℝ ℒÜℭḰ ѦИÐ ¥☮Ṳ ϟĦѺṲℒÐ ÐѺℕÅ✞€ Ѧℒℒ ¥☮Ṳℜ ℳϴℕ∃Ẏ ∀ℕḎ ℙ☮$ϟ∃♥♥Ї☮Иϟ ✝☮ ✝♓€♏▣ ℑℱ Ẏ☮Ü ÐѺИ‷✝ Ðϴℕ∀†∃ УѺṲℜ ℙѺ♥♥∃$$Їϴℕϟ Шℰ Шℑℒℒ ℜϴℬ Ẏ☮Ṳ ฿ℒℑИÐ ∀ИÐ ḠЇⅤ∃ †Ħ€ℳ †ϴ †Ħℰ ✝♓ℐℰṼ∃ϟ▣ ∀ḺḺ ℭϴℒѺИϟ †♓Ѧ✞ Åℜ€ ℕѺ✞ ℭ☮ℳṔℒ€†∃ḺУ ℃ℒℰÅℕ ₩ℐḺℒ ℬ€ ℛ∃ℳϴ✔ℰḎ, ☾ℒ€Ѧℵ€Ð, ∀ИḎ ✝♓∃ℕ ✞♓ℝѺШℵ ℑИ ✝♓∃ ℑИ℃ℐℕ€ℝѦ✝☮ℝ ℬℰ℃ѦṲϟℰ Ш∃ Åℜℰ ℕѺ† ÐϴℑℵḠ ¥☮Ṳℝ ϟℋℐ† ℱ☮ℜ ¥☮Ṳ ℐℱ У☮Ṳ Ð☮И† ШÅℵ✝ ✝ϴ ℃Ḻ€Ѧℕ ¥ϴÜℛ ☾☮ℒϴИ Ш€ℒℒ †ℋņ$ †Ѻ☮ ℱÜ☾ḲℑℕḠ ℬÅÐ ¥ѺṲ Åℝℰ Ḡ☮ЇИḠ ✝ϴ ℃ℒℰѦℵ ẎϴṲℝ ℱṲℭḰℑℵḠ ☾Ѻℒϴℵ ϴℜ ₩€ ШℐℒḺ ḰЇḺℒ ℰ✔€ℝ¥ $ЇИḠℒ€ Ѻℕ€ Ѻℱ У☮Ü ÅℕḎ Ẏ☮Ṳ Шℐℒℒ ℕϴ✝ ℬℰ Ḡ∃†✞ℑℕḠ Ẏ☮Ṳℝ ℃ѺḺѺℕϟ ѦИ¥✝ℐ♏ℰ $ϴϴℵ, Ẏ☮Ṳ Ðℑℜ†Ẏ ℬѦϟ✞ÅℛÐϟ‼ ÅℵḎ ℉ÜℭḰ ¥ϴÜℝ ℳѺ♏ †☮ϴ▪ ✞ℋℰ ϴℕℒ¥ ШÅ¥ Ш∃ ℃ÅИ ฿∃ ♓ÅℙṔУ ℐϟ Ї† †Ħ∃Ẏ ∀ℝ∃ ♓∀ṔℙУ, ∀ℵÐ ✞ℋℰẎ ∀ℜ€ ℵ☮✞ ℋÅℙṔ¥▣ ϟϴ У☮Ü ℬℰ✝✞ℰℜ ℳ∀Ḱℰ ℰⅤℰℛУ☮И∃ ♓ÅṔℙУ ϟϴ ₩ℰ ☾Åℕ $ℐℵḠ Åℒ☮ℕḠ ∀✞ ∀ ℉Ṳ☾ḰЇИḠ ℭѦℳℙ ℱℑℛ€ ℒℐḰ€ ϟѺℳℰ ℱÜℭḰЇИḠ ฿ϴẎϟ℃ϴ܆$, €✕ℭℰℙ✞ ШЇ†ℋ☮Ṳ✞ †ℋ€ ϟ∃Ẍℑϟℳ, ฿€℃ѦÜ$∃ ✝Ħ∀†$ ✝∃ℜℛℑ฿ℒℰ ∀ℵḎ Ш∃ ∀ℜℰℕ✝ ϟ∃Ẍℐ$✞ϟ▪

✞♄αηк ¥☺ʊ ḉḯтḯẕ℮ᾔṧ ḟ☺я ґ℮α∂їηℊ ☂ℌ☤ṧ ღℯṧṧαℊ℮▪ ♓α√℮ @ η☤¢ℯ ḓ@ƴ▪ αη∂ ґℯμℯμ♭εґ ☂☺ ґεღøṽ℮ ⑂◎üґ тґ☺υṧεґṧ ◎ґ ẘ℮ ẘїłℓ ґℯм☺♥ε ☂нεμ ƒøґ ¥øʊ▣ ₩ḯтℌ ƒ◎я¢ℯ

Today, on June 8th, 2011, an experiment in the Institue of Phone Book Research (I.P.B.R.) has gone horribly wrong. Scientists were attempting to splice the genes of the Gigas Spurii, or giant beaver native to Wackjaw with a phonebook, in an attempt to create a mobile phonebook that will also maul your enemies, has gone horribly wrong. The beavers were instead spliced with high grade plastic explosives. The beavers are able to detonate themselves at will and have become extremely suicidal. They have also somehow escaped the lab and are loose on the public. Three have been killed so far by the explosive beavers. Twenty three beavers in total have been set loose on the public. Updates will be provided as the situation progresses.

UPDATE- Only five of the twenty three beavers are still alive at the moment. 20 more have been killed by the beavers so far All attempts to stop the beavers have failed.

UPDATE 2- The remaining beavers have been captured. One died in the process, killing five more.

Information courtesy of The Wackjian Times

I've taken the liberty of informing you all that I do indeed use Firefox. I know, I know, its been bugging you for ages whether or not I use it, and I'm sure you're all very grateful I've taken time out of my day to type this. So, to once again recap, I do indeed use Firefox. Your welcome for typing this. Any further questions are to be directed towards Dogfish, and he will answer them. Unless they are insulting, in which case you should ignore his answers, and instead just make up your own answer, that you think accurately describe me in the kindest way possible.