Athletic tycoons with a knack for bats and sons of long dead Kryptonians beware.

According to reports from the Aquatic and Tangy Bureau of Esophageal Stick-Related Sports or ATBESRS, a particular species of fish called ***** (that's right,*****) have been playing throat hockey with none other than the orange and wrinkly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ we call tangerines. Sources say they have been going at it for decades... in the underground stadium of Hr'rk, a tonsil-shaped arena in the bowels of the Atlantic Sea. Seats were sold out as of yesterday afternoon. More details to come. That's it for today, I'm Dusch Vphagg, good night and good fight.