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True Nordic Hero Weapons

** Mild Companions Spoilers below for the faint of heart... for those of you who are brave ONWARD!!**

Drab Nord Hero weapons got you down? Sick of those dull gray swords with weaksauce damage? Did you go through the entire companions questline only to be let down that the "Legendary Weapons" you could forge after were no better than the ones you were using all along?

Well never fear my adventursome friend. Sku11M0nkey mods is here for YOU! We take those dull swords from Crappy to snappy! Make those axes Amazing! and lets not for get the Bow! Ohh goodness no!

Now when you go out with your brand spanking new nordic Greatsword you'll be turning and taking heads all over skyrim! Not only are my weapons drop dead sexy but they kick the pants off of just about anything else out there.

I know what you're thinking "SkullMonkey how did you get those blades so Shiny and bright?! and why are those handles so dark it doesn't even look like iron or steel anymore?!" Well my inquisitive little friend that's because they are not!

Not quite as powerful as Daedric, but not quite as sucky as Ebony, these bad boys is made from a combination of ultra light weight quicksilver Ebony and Sky forge steel with a dash of mahogany thrown in for style (so dark, so mysterious... yet... luxerious) This combination makes these suckers so fast and sharp they could shave the ass hairs off a charging Rhino! While he's charging!!!

But don't think we're just giving these beauties away! No Sir! We here at Sku11M0nkey productions make you WORK for your blinged out stack of Awesome!

First you gotta beat the companions questline... but it doesn't stop there. You better have picked up a few of those draugr weapons while you were poking around those nordic ruins because you're going to need em to make that fancy skyforge steel. And hold on to them Hagraven feathers because they are the only things that are going to make these fine nordic arrows fly!

SkullMonkey! why are you making us jump through all these flaming toilet seats? Do you hate us and want to make our lives difficult? Well yes actually... Yes I do... but I say hate with all the love in my heart because when you finally get your hands on one of these fine ass weapons, you will look back on the path of destruction you swathed to get there and say... "yeah.... I earned this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!" And hence forth thereafter you will be ever known as the baddest stack of awesome in the land!

So step right up Ladies and Genitals and Get your True Nordic Weapons today!

***Nordic armor sold separately all sales are final and non-refundable, we can't ship to Massachussetts or California due to overly strict draconian laws.

Frequently Asked Questions that annoy me:

Question 1: I installed your mod and Now I can't make draugr items! - First, that's not even a question. Second,Yep that's because I moved all of the weapons under "Steel" . "But Sku11M0nkey why would you do that?!!!" so that you could upgrade them more... draugr items are nerfed so you can't upgrade them beyond flawless... You're welcome.

Question 2: Your mod broke my game! - Again not a question and no it didn't. This mod is so insanely simple all it does is change source textures and reclassifies a couple of recipies... literally changing a few ticks in pre made boxes and drop downs. Perhaps you should take a closer look at that list of 300 mods you're loading.

Question 3: How do I make these weapons I don't see them?! - You did read that part above this called the description right? yep it's there. The weapons are under "steel" now so you can upgrade them more. Need to beat the companions questline. Need draugr weapons to make skyforge steel ingots. The rest of the ingredients are plainly displayed in the forge recipie.

Question 4: The weapons are too bright... I don't like it - Really? Tell me again about that mod you downloaded with the ridiculously large sword that kills everything with one hit and has more decorations on it than a tricked out motorcycle on "American Choppers" which looks like it weighs 100lbs yet your dainty female "Warrior" in metal lingerie is able to swing it around like it's made of styrofoam. Seriously! These aren't even questions!!

Question 5: Awesome mod are you going to make new versions of the armors? - First, I know they are pretty awesome *toots own horn* Now that that's out of the way, Armor. Yeah I dunno. Maybe? who knows? Perhaps? Somewhere over the rainbow? Honestly I'm not sure. Midian born has a good version of this and there are other mods out there that make the nord armor look pretty badass. But who knows Maybe if I'm feelin froggy after I finish my other mods I'll circle back around and work on some armor action. That being said I have already made the armor 20% more awesome by bumping it from 25 armor points to 32 making it slightly better than steel armor and like the weapons I jammed it under steel so that you could upgrade the bejesus out of it right away. Again you're welcome.

Credits : Uhhh bethesda I guess because if they didn't break the creation kit I probably wouldn't have made these

Bugs: Its a freakin weapon mod! what could possibly go wrong?.... dammit why did I say that?!

Alright my carpel tunnel syndrom is kicking in... I'm out!