Want to be directed to how to earn the achievements?

Well too bad.

...

Ok fine, I'll tell you about it

In order of earning;

Do everything the narrator tells you to do. Simple enough! RESIST ANY URGES TO ENTER BROOM CLOSETS THOUGH. This is very dangerous! Just kidding it isn't.

Exit the game and open it again. Make sure to use the quit button, not the red X on the top right! You need to do this. Simple enough!!!

Wonder what happens when you try to jump? It didn't work let's try another time...

What I'm saying is mash the spacebar to get this achievement. :(

The last achievements were simple to do! Won't this one be??? You know you want to do it anyway!

For some reason the narrator doesn't think this is enough and gets you to run around and click on stuff. Don't go into the room with 2 doors though. The door will lock behind you!

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Press 8 repeatedly on the key pad in the boss's office. Can you see the hidden 9?

It is an achievement. Do you want to achieve the achievement? Or achieve the achievement of achieving the achieved achievement? Go to the menu, settings, extras and set 'Achievement' to Enabled then.

What????????????? Five years?! What if I told you there was a simple way of doing this? Quit Stanley Parable. Go click the computer date, change it to 2020 or 2021 if you are reading this in 2016, or 5 years ahead... whatever. Open up the game and then click play.

If you don't want to cheat then... Sorry. You need to wait 5 years. :(

There are two ways to do this;

1: Play this game for the entire Tuesday

2: Wait until Tuesday and leave your computer on standby with the game on.
This doesn't really work if you need the energy.

You need to prepare for this. Play the game until you spawn in front of the 2 doors. Activate the keypad so much that the narrator just opens it for you. Then run like the wind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing can stop you! Don't stop! Go through all the open doors. The narrator will talk for a long time and this will account for most of the time. >:(

This is the most complex achievement. First you need to click on the copy machine 5 times. Then click on the window on the left 14 times. Then click on the desk 53 times. Then go to the place with 2 doors and click on the right door 215 times. Then go through the left door and put these numbers in the keypad in the boss' office (you need to do it as fast as you can); 5125, 6726, 6267, 2222, 8277, 5144, 0000, 1456, 2776, 2222, 2222, 2222, 2222, 2223, 3334, 5678, 1234, 1337, 0420

Then go through the door and click on the mind control facility 9413 times in 1 hour, 11 minutes and 1 second. Then exit the game. Enter the game again. Exit the game. Enter. Exit the game. Enter the game. Exit the game. Enter the game. Press the keys up-N-alt-capslock-home-insert-enter-V-alt-B-left-enter. Then marvel at the time you wasted thinking this would give you an achievement but it's actually unachievable like it says. Whoops!!!

You achieved all the achievements. Except the unachievable one but who cares! Help me with this guide, it's the first one I made.

Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!